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Well, the poll on “What do you personally find offputting in pubs?” has finally closed, with no less than 115 responses, which is by a large margin a record for any poll on this blog apart from the s*****g b*n one.

The results were:

1. Noisy children: 95 (83%)
2= Karaoke: 75 (65%)
2= Wall-to-wall diners: 75 (65%)
4. Big screen sports: 62 (54%)
5. Slow service: 60 (52%)
6. Lack of cleanliness: 59 (51%)
7= Drunk customers: 49 (42%)
7= Unable to smoke indoors: 49 (42%)
7= Unwelcoming regulars: 49 (42%)
10. Warm beer: 44 (38%)
11. Uncomfortable seating: 24 (21%)
12. Dogs: 20 (17%)

I’m not surprised to see “Noisy children” top the poll, as in my experience this must be the biggest no-no in pubs. At opposite ends of the social scale, both “Karaoke” and “Wall-to-wall diners” send out a clear signal that, for many people, this is not their type of pub. It’s good to see “Dogs” at the bottom, as I never really understand the objection to well-behaved dogs in pubs (which I find they almost always are). Surprised to see “Uncomfortable seating” so low, though, as, however good the beer, if I can’t find somewhere comfortable to sit, I won’t stay for another.

As you’ll see, the “mirror image” poll is now up and running. I’ve taken on board some of your suggestions, although surely “good beer” and “good food” should be taken as read. So it didn’t get too big, I rejected the ideas of:

Etched or frosted windows
No food served
Oversize lined glasses

This will be an interesting poll as I really have no idea of how it will turn out. It’s worth drawing your attention to Curmudgeon’s Ideal Pub, written ten years ago, and still largely holding true, although one key point is now impossible because of legislation.