Things you've overheard in a pub

[NickDavies]

Drifting slightly, unless you were in a pub frequented by Splodgenessabounds, saying "two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please" was deemed a perfectly reasonable way of commencing proceedings. Then came the need to preface it with "can I get" and the requirement of many to use the word 'like' at least two times per subordinate clause. Lately it appears we must preface every sentence with "so". So nowadays, you hear people saying "So like can I get like two bottles of like Corona with the like lime in and some like stuffed olives please?" Splodgenessabounds would never have written their song today.

[Maldenman]

Nick.

Thank you. "Can I get" makes my blood boil, I'd love to be serving and say "No You "F*^"&*Ng can't.

And breathe, one, two, .....

[trainman]

"Can I get" makes my blood boil

Indeed, but not so much as catching myself saying it!
Oh, the shame, when that somehow inveigles its way into my bar vocabulary. Be speech vigilant tm!

[Oggwyn Trench]

Couple overheard telling friends about their weekend away "York was beautifull , lots of old narrow streets and quaint old pubs selling that old fashioned real ale , glad to be back could`nt get a decent pint of Carling cold anywhere !"

[AlanH]

Man next to me in Little B in Sale, handing a pint, with over one inch of head, back to barmaid,
"Will you give me a top up please."

Barmaid, handing it back
"Can you drink some of the froth off it first!"

[Old Blue]

Nick.

Thank you. "Can I get" makes my blood boil, I'd love to be serving and say "No You "F*^"&*Ng can't.

A perfectly acceptable response I've heard is "No you can't, but if you'd like one I could get it for you"

[aleandhearty]

The 'trouble and strife' and I once sat behind this young couple, deep in conversation. Overhearing such snippets 'as teaching you different techniques' and the girl pleading for her man to be gentle with her, we were convinced they were talking about sex. After five minutes or so of hilarious misunderstanding, we finally realised they were talking about karate!

[Old Blue]

Exchange in a Sheps pub last night, which had four of their ales available-

Customer: 'What's the Whitstable Bay like?'
Barman: 'It's Shepherd Neame so they all taste the same'

The barman went on to explain that he doesn't like Sheps beer: 'I don't drink it - I only look after it'

Perhaps unsurprisingly, they did all turn out to be pretty much the same.

[Millay]

Exchange in a Sheps pub last night, which had four of their ales available-

Customer: 'What's the Whitstable Bay like?'
Barman: 'It's Shepherd Neame so they all taste the same'

The barman went on to explain that he doesn't like Sheps beer: 'I don't drink it - I only look after it'

Perhaps unsurprisingly, they did all turn out to be pretty much the same.

That's pretty much my experience with Sheps as well, perhaps with the exceptiln of Bishops Finger. Never really liked their beers.

[Wittenden]

That's pretty much my experience with Sheps as well, perhaps with the exceptiln of Bishops Finger. Never really liked their beers.

Living where I do, I have to like 'em!I don't care for Spitfire, and usually go for the seasonals, though Late Red was disappointing last time. On a good day, and well kept, Master Brew isn't a bad cooking bitter. I'm told that the beers produced on the pilot plant at Faversham are more "interesting", though they aren't readily available, at least in our local.That said, I don't run after their beer, especially out of county.Some of Sheps country pubs are epic, and I don't let my ambivalence to the beer put me of them.