Blue Scrumpy at The Three Conies in the Oxfordshire / Northants wilderness:
"We were led away from the main bar area to a separate dining area that was decorated in a bizarre manner, with plenty of stuffed animals and the like. The animal theme apparently continued in the ladies toilets, where animal noises were being played through a speaker. I normally find similar noises in the gents. So, I set off to explore if that was the case, only to find complete silence."
"Breakneck speed we drown ten pints of bitter"