J.D Wetherspoon = Home of Hoppy: The Silk Kite, Tamworth.. http://www.tamworthblog.co.uk/2009/0...-blogs-review/
I detested this at a JDW I went in a while back. A proud bank of 12 HPs, all with clips on Saturday Lunchtime (over their beer festival). Ordered a pint, as the young lady told me that it wasn't quite ready yet, a bloke came up and started putting those little 'coming soon' stickers on them. 10 of them. :'(
#42
Mainly, but by no means exclusively, a problem in Nicholsons pubs.
Me: And can I have a bag of peanuts please?
Barmaid: We have cashews or chilli nuts.
Me: No dry roasted peanuts?
Barmaid: No
Me: Okay, I'll have a bag of cheese and Onion crisps instead.
Barmaid: We don't have Cheese and Onion.
Me: Salt and Vinegar then.
Barmaid: We have Mature Cheddar and Burgundy or Parmesan and Shallot.
Me: You're joking me...okay just give me some pork scratchings.
Barmaid: (blank expression)
Me: You don't have them either, do you?
Barmaid: Sorry sir
Me: Okay, okay, I give up...give me a bowl of chilli nuts.
Barmaid: Certainly sir. That will be £2.50.
Me:
The loud and animated conversation in the Hare & Hounds last night appeared to consist mostly of the words F##K and C##T , when someone complained to the barstaff about it the reply was "they are regulars " , and they wonder why they got no customers
The beer was crap as well
An annoyance that reared its ugly head yesterday whilst I was watching Chelsea v Arsenal were the people that come into the pub and stand by the door and stay for the game without buying a drink. They are then disgusted when challenged about having no drink.
I have been in a pub before where the governor has turned the match off and bellowed that he wouldn’t turn it on again until every person present had a drink in their hand. The cheapskates soon slinked out to cheers from the masses.
WE ARE THE BREADMEN - UP THE BEES
When I go to a pub and order a decent real ale the following is one of my worst case scenarios. As I live in West Yorkshire he's invariably 'John Smith's Man'. Although it could easily be Greene King etc. in your neck of the woods. Propping up the bar, or sitting on a bar stool, he's just dying to pounce:
"Oh I couldn't drink that stuff mate. It's far too.. strong / sweet / floral / hoppy (delete as appropriate). At least you know where you are with John's, it always tastes the same, wherever you go".
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Yes, tasteless, metallic 'McBeer' does, you muppet!
'And where he supped the past lived still. And where he sipped the glass brimmed full' John Barleycorn, Carol Ann Duffy.
Similar experience about 3 weeks ago in the Baum.
2 blokes walk in, both about 40, they survey the 6 handpumps.
They then walk round the side of the bar to look at the lager fonts.
Then one asks "Have you not got any proper beer, like John Smiths?"
And then his mate pipes up "Or some proper lager like Carling or Carlsberg?"
Er no we don't sell any smooth bitters and only premium lagers, came the answer.
Then and walk out and one shouts back.
"What a f**kin' waste of time this place is, we're going to the Brickcroft, they have good beer there" (a large Working Mens Club across the road)
As they leave a loud burst of laughter follows them.
A pub is for life not just for Christmas
Vive la diffrence!
Some folk are determined that they 'like what they like' without trying any new taste experience, and in the case of carling/fosters we can probably make that 'any taste experience'. It's another reason (apart from a superb advertising team) that guinness has such a huge market share - most will never have tried the superior (imo) tasting real stouts and would most likely approach such beers with a closed mind if they did have to make a Hobson's choice (no, not the MILD!). I don't mean this to be in any way offensive to those who genuinely like guinness, fair play to those who do, but I'd guess only a small % have experimented.
I have a similar tale to ROB's when in the splendid Queen's Head, Chelmsford, a coupla lager chaps were left visibly perturbed by the absence of recognised 'brands' & had to choose between Kaltenberg Hell or Warsteiner (ok, I looked it up). To be fair, they went greatly up in my estimation when they decided to stay for a second.
'Brickcroft'? The name alone conjures a fairly unsalubrious image.
Enjoyed your tale too, a&h, especially as set-in-t'ways-john-smiths-man also evokes/compounds the impression of insular yorkies; summat y'all seem most proud of...
ps. I vaguely recall your superb phrase 'A day outta Yorkshire is a day wasted', or summat to that effect.
Review to follow, but went in Oneils in Oxford on my tour last night (never been in one before, doubt I will again). No HPs. In case there was another bar or I was missing something, I asked the girl behind the bar if they serve cask ale.
'Whats that?'
I believe the phrase 'nuff said' comes into its own here.
'Nuff said indeed Eddie! I tend to find myself, by way of explanation, mimicking the action of a beer engine whilst asking the question. It's always a rhetorical question anyway - it just explains to anyone watching, staff or punters, the reason one is spinning on one's heel & heading elsewhere for a proper drink.