Pub annoyances #834

[Maldenman]

Do you want a #900a " People who complain about excess gravy when obviously there's no such thing"?

Possibly a 635a, staff answering the phone midway through serving you, leaving you in limbo, as happened to me recently.

[NickDavies]

Possibly a 635a, staff answering the phone midway through serving you, leaving you in limbo, as happened to me recently.

The very worst for that are hotel receptionists who are made to do the phones as well. You slowly get madder and madder as the bloody phone keeps going. And once you do get checked in or paid your bill you get given a form to rate your experience.

[NickDavies]

Years ago my cousin owned a pub that was beside a main road. He hated the 'customer' who used the loos then vainished after buying nowt. There were two doors to the loos, one prominent, just inside the door, the other unobtrusive, at the far end of the bar. If you went to the bar and asked he invariably said 'Fine, mate, help yourself' and pointed out the back entrance.The outer door to the first one was open, you went in and it shut behind you, when you went to leave the doorknob came off in your hand and you had to shout for help. He gave up because the carpet kept getting wet.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/s...-2015021995509

[PaddyMick]

I've read the first 5 pages of this epic thread and I will plough through it all, but first need to list some of my Pub Annoyances, from a Publican's viewpoint. There's a lot i'll miss out because it's already been done by that bloke who posted a list of how to be a customer in a pub at xmas (once a year drinkers etc). I'll start from #1001 because I i'm not sure what other numbers are taken.

So here goes

#1001 FoG's - mentioned previously, Friends of the Guvnor. They are annoying to this Guvnor too! In reality, they are not friends, just poor needy men babys who didn't get enough love as kids.

#1002 Glass Theft - yes it is still theft. Would you go to your friends house and nick the mug he's put your tea in? Ask for a plastic if you want to drink between pubs.

#1003 Perving on the Barmaid - she's a captive to your charms with no escape. Just because she talks to you doesn't mean she like you.

#1004 Hand Bags - One slap = 6 hours of paperwork, talking to the police, checking CCTV and other hassles. At least have the decency to give them a proper kicking and put a bar stool through the window, then it might be worth it.

#1005 Me Make Fire - every man is an expert on how to start a fire, what type of wood to use and when to poke it. Leave me to it please, I do it every day.

More to come

[Mobyduck]

#1005 Me Make Fire - every man is an expert on how to start a fire, what type of wood to use and when to poke it. Leave me to it please, I do it every day.

More to come

Made me laugh this one,the governor's in my local's pet hate, everybody seems drawn to fine tune the fire with a deft kick of a log, and when it all collapses wonder why the boss man loses the plot.

[Bucking Fastard]

I've read the first 5 pages of this epic thread and I will plough through it all, but first need to list some of my Pub Annoyances, from a Publican's viewpoint. There's a lot i'll miss out because it's already been done by that bloke who posted a list of how to be a customer in a pub at xmas (once a year drinkers etc). I'll start from #1001 because I i'm not sure what other numbers are taken.

So here goes

#1001 FoG's - mentioned previously, Friends of the Guvnor. They are annoying to this Guvnor too! In reality, they are not friends, just poor needy men babys who didn't get enough love as kids.

#1002 Glass Theft - yes it is still theft. Would you go to your friends house and nick the mug he's put your tea in? Ask for a plastic if you want to drink between pubs.

#1003 Perving on the Barmaid - she's a captive to your charms with no escape. Just because she talks to you doesn't mean she like you.

#1004 Hand Bags - One slap = 6 hours of paperwork, talking to the police, checking CCTV and other hassles. At least have the decency to give them a proper kicking and put a bar stool through the window, then it might be worth it.

#1005 Me Make Fire - every man is an expert on how to start a fire, what type of wood to use and when to poke it. Leave me to it please, I do it every day.

More to come

Looking forward to the next installment,had a good chuckle especially #1004

[NickDavies]

I think the 'beer advisers' thread needs merging in here

[Rex_Rattus]

Currently out of the country and only online intermittently. Will update the index to include these annoyances from the other side of the counter when I can.

[Maldenman]

Another new one yesterday, bloke on the next table finishes his lunch and then puts his dirty used plate on my table!

[rpadam]

Thirsty passenger walks into a station bar run by Select Service Partner and reviews the options.

"Could I have a pint of 'X' please?" Then, remembering what's likely to come next. "Oh, but no crisps or peanuts thanks."

Beer gets poured, and then served with the earnest query: "Would you like any crisps or peanuts with that?"

Slight pause. "Actually, I did mention this when I ordered, but no crisps or peanuts for me this time thank you."

Customer can't avoid rolling their eyes ever so slightly.

Sotto voce (in case the Duty Manager is listening); "Sorry, we have to ask, you know."

"Really, even when you already know the answer?" Silence.

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On their next train journey, the passenger walks into a station bar run by Select Service Partner...