Want to make your reviews a bit more contemporary? A bit more 'street'? Well, now you can at http://www.gizoogle.net/
Just paste the url of the pub's page into the search engine for a review that sounds like it's come straight outta Compton.
Here are some examples from the Wellington in Birmingham, fo shizzle.
http://www.gizoogle.net/index.php?se...le+Dis+Shiznit
Claire and Diane meet at their 30th class reunion, not having seen each other since leaving sixth form, years ago. They begin to talk and after a couple of glasses of wine gradually loosen up, bringing each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, children, jobs, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives.
Claire says "It's OK. We still make love every week, but it's not particularly exciting. How's yours?"
Diane replies "It's fantastic, ever since we got into S&M."
Claire is visibly shocked. "Really Diane? I would never have guessed you’d
go for that."
"Oh, sure," says Claire, "He Snores while I Masturbate."
'And where he supped the past lived still. And where he sipped the glass brimmed full' John Barleycorn, Carol Ann Duffy.
A brilliant one liner from the guy who does the betting tips in the Daily Mirror today.
"The first day in a nudist colony is always the hardest!"
A pub is for life not just for Christmas
A recent favourite was heard on Radio 4s Saturday Live a few weeks ago. The Rev. Richard Coles asked a centenarian parishioner what was the secret of her long life, to which she replied 'a mixture of snobbery and schadenfreude'. Brilliant!
'And where he supped the past lived still. And where he sipped the glass brimmed full' John Barleycorn, Carol Ann Duffy.
Joshua Tetley had died and his old friends John and Sam Smith were going to his funeral. So, as they had a little time before the event John suggested that they should have a pint or two to celebrate Joshua's memory.
"There's a Sam Smith's house over the road", suggested John, why don't we have a pint there?"
"Oh no", said Sam, "much better that we have a couple in the John Smith's house next door".
And so they did.
When they were walking towards the church, John remarked to Sam, "As we've been rivals for so long, I really appreciated your suggesting one of my pubs for a drink".
"Well, remarked Sam, "we both have a great deal of respect for old Joshua and it wouldn't do, would it, for us to go to his funeral smelling of beer".