WARNING - A RC JOKEOriginally Posted by ROBCamra
WARNING - A NOT A PC JOKE
Noted the other day, from the pen of the late, great Barry Cryer:
“There’s a priest in the confessional box and someone comes in and sits down behind the screen.
After a couple of minutes the person still hasn’t said anything so the priest knocks on the side of the confessional.
There’s no response, so a minute later he knocks again and a bloke’s voice says ‘You can knock all you like, there’s no paper in here either.’”
For the record I'm not offended.WARNING - NOT A PC JOKE
WISE DOCTOR
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth.
Just swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea!
Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down!
How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
-W.C.Fields
If a man says something in the middle of a wood, and there's no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?WARNING - NOT A PC JOKE
WISE DOCTOR
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth.
Just swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea!
Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down!
How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
'Beer is for all day, not just for breakfast'.
Probably when he gets home.
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
-W.C.Fields
How much gas does it take to pump real ale from a cellar to bar level?
It is actually a thing. https://beerbuzz.beer/talking-tech-pumping-beer/How much gas does it take to pump real ale from a cellar to bar level?
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
-W.C.Fields
Ta.
Ah there's muggins here thinking that hand pumps produced the pressure to bring beer to bar without assistance. So the barman probably wasn't lying last night when he told me three minutes before last orders that real ale was off due to lack of gas delivery.
I have fallen foul of thinking this in the past.
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
-W.C.Fields
Boyle's Law is about the inverse relationship between volume and pressure in gasses isn't it?How much gas does it take to pump real ale from a cellar to bar level?
Then there's Dalton's Law, which is about partial pressures in gasses.
And of course Cole's Law, which is something to do with cabbage, vinaigrette and mayonnaise.
'Beer is for all day, not just for breakfast'.
Me too. So, that East European lass who told me many years back that the ale was unavailable with the now famous phrase "iz gaz...", was probably right!!
Didn't seem like a pub that would have an excessive draw from the cellar though.
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