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Thread: Beer/pub/drink-related quotes

  1. #1
    We're not really 'ere! trainman's Avatar
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    Default Beer/pub/drink-related quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by Conrad View Post
    It is a new one on me as well, I think it must have been on another forum.

    Feel free to start a new one here though, sounds like a great thread .
    Well, I couldn't find what I believed was already here, so here's a few decent ones provided via google search...

    Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway
    *
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~Author Unknown
    *
    If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. ~Author Unknown
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    If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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    First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
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    This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought. ~Samuel Johnson
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    Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ~W.C. Fields
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    It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. ~Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856
    *
    Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey
    *
    I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. ~W.C. Fields
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    Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. ~Jean Kerr
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    Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~Author Unknown
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    Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost. ~Samuel Johnson
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    They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. ~Scottish Proverb
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    A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields
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    Beer is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson
    *

    Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation. ~Kin Hubbard
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    I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. ~Frank Nicholson, attributed
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    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman
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    I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill
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    Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink. ~W.H. Davies
    *
    No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires
    *
    One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. ~James Thurber
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    If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. ~P.J. O'Rourke
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    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin
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    For a quart of ale is a dish for a king. ~William Shakespeare ‘A Winter’s Tale’
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    This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption.. Beer! ~Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
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    Payday came and with it beer. ~ Rudyard Kipling
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    Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. ~Henry Lawson
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    Make sure that the beer – four pints a week – goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop. ~Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944
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    Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them. ~Queen Victoria
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    I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. ~Abraham Lincoln
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    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? ~Stephen Wright
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    Alright brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer. ~Homer Simpson
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    Some see the glass as half full, others see the glass as half empty. I just wonder who the hell has been drinking my beer! ~seen on a T-Shirt in Portland, Oregon
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    He was a wise man who invented beer. ~Plato
    *
    Last edited by trainman; 12-01-2011 at 09:40.

  2. #2
    We're not really 'ere! trainman's Avatar
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    And the great man deserves his own section...

    SAM : What'll you have, Norm?
    NORM : Well I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll have a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
    SAM : Oh, Looks like beer, Norm.
    NORM : Call me Mister Lucky.
    *
    WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
    NORM : I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.
    *
    COACH: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
    NORM : No, I know what one looks like. Just pour me one.
    *
    COACH: How's a beer sound, Norm?
    NORM : I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
    *
    SAM : What'd you like, Norm?
    NORM : A reason to live. Gimme another beer.
    *
    SAM : What's the story, Norm?
    NORM : Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.
    *
    SAM : Beer, Norm?
    NORM : Have I gotten that predictable? Good.
    *
    WOODY: How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
    NORM : Poor.
    WOODY: I'm sorry to hear that.
    NORM : No, I mean pour.
    *
    WOODY: Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
    NORM : A little early isn't it?
    WOODY: For a beer?
    NORM : No, for a stupid question.
    *
    "Women. Can't live with 'em…, pass the beer nuts." ~Norm Peterson

    and the one I usually remember:
    Woody: How'd a beer be Mr Peterson?
    NORM: If I was nearby..., nervous.
    Last edited by trainman; 12-01-2011 at 09:49.

  3. #3
    The Beerhunter. RogerB's Avatar
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    Magazine interviewer calling at Noel Cowards house early one morning. "Do you always have champagne for breakfast?".

    Noel Coward "You mean people don't?".

  4. #4
    Waterborne Beer Inspector Bucking Fastard's Avatar
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    "I drink ,therefore I am" Monty Python with apologies to Rene Descartes.

  5. #5
    Real Ale Drinker Crossste's Avatar
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    BEER. Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.
    From the home of the kebab of doom

  6. #6
    I'll stay on me own runningdog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crossste View Post
    BEER. Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.
    Wonder what happened before 1862.
    Pubs are a hobby, real ale is a passion. Oh, and like me dogs, fear no evil..........

  7. #7
    Former Pubs Galore Coder
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    Quote Originally Posted by runningdog View Post
    Wonder what happened before 1862.
    Groats & Royalty?

  8. #8
    The Beerhunter. RogerB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runningdog View Post
    Wonder what happened before 1862.
    Gin

  9. #9
    I'll stay on me own runningdog's Avatar
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    The search for the perfect pint is like unto the quest for the Holy Grail. It is not the search itself, nor is it the finding of one's dream.....
    It's the getting of yer backside and down the pub.....

    Wells: Pubs Galore Forums...2011
    Pubs are a hobby, real ale is a passion. Oh, and like me dogs, fear no evil..........

  10. #10
    This Space For Hire aleandhearty's Avatar
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    'I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.' Noel Coward.

    'Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.' George Bernard Shaw.
    'And where he supped the past lived still. And where he sipped the glass brimmed full' John Barleycorn, Carol Ann Duffy.

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