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Lachlan Strong from Australia has submitted a couple of pieces of fantasy beer history that would shame even Roger Protz.

They are taken from 'The Ultimate Almanac of World Beer Recipes" by Horst Dornbusch.

Barley Wine: Its modern name, however, evolved only in the early 20th century,when the large commercial breweries in Britain started to move into big-ale brewing.

Best Bitter: Perhaps the first truly hop-bitter English ale was the India Pale Ale (IPA), first brewed in the 1790s in London and later in Burton-on-Trent... In the1830s, the large English breweries adopted the IPA style also for the domestic market, for which they reduced its hop loading, renamed it "Bitter", and offered it in three strengths: "Bitter" at roughly 9°P... "Best Bitter" a roughly 11°P..."Extra Special Bitter" (ESB), a strong Bitter at roughly 13°P - 14°P... Starting in the 1860s, bottled Bitters entered the British market, and they came to be called"Pale Ales" (without the prefix "India"), while only Bitters served in casks in pubs kept their traditional name.

Brown Ale, Northern English: ...the hallowed, but now mass-produced Newcastle Brown Ale and the craft-brewed Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale.

Brown Ale, Southern English: The lower-gravity Browns eventually evolved into Milds; the darker ones, into Stouts and Porters; and the hoppier ones, into IPAs, Bitters and Pale Ales.
Brown Ale evolved into Bitter? I want some of whatever Horst has been taking. This stuff goes beyond fantasy history and enters the truly surreal.

Yes, this is the same Horst Dornbusch who's often quoted as an expert. Yeah, right.

It's shame Lachlan was a little late for the competition. All the quotes above would have been certain winners.

I've just done a little search and found this enthusiastic blurb about the book:

"The Ultimate Almanac is a unique collection of 101 of the world’s classic, most important, and most interesting beer recipes, and an authoritative repository of the world’s beer culture. It is a surrogate of mankind’s brewing past, expertly adapted for use by modern brewers in the present. It is a product of the synergistic collaboration of four parties, the author and the three sponsors, each world experts in their fields. To the best of our knowledge there has never been a work like this, in any language! We hope this book will become the practical reference guide and an indispensable source of information for serious brewers all over the world – a tome to be kept handy in any brew house anywhere!"
"authoritative repository of the world’s beer culture" - you have to laugh, don't you? The book is a snip at just $129.00 + $20.00 shipping. I've already ordered my copy.