We're fast approaching some of those days when our favourite pubs are full of random amateur drunken idiots who will never been seen again until the next time. Us professionals at the drunken idiocy game know when we're beaten and stay home for the duration.

So in rank order, which are the worst days of the year for pubgoers? I'd go for

1 New Year's Eve
2 Christmas Eve
3 The Friday before Christmas Eve
4 St Patrick's Day
5 Mother's Day (screaming kids, but no different to drunken idiots)