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I thought that would be a fun heading for my digital begging bowl. You know, the thing to the left of the post text. Not noticed it? It looks like this:

"Buy Alexei vodka!" I hoped it would bring up happy associations with one of my favourite family-outing posts.

Given the response so far, it didn't. Or you don't want to buy alcohol for a minor. Or you just don't want to encourage me. Can't say I blame you. On either count.

We're agreed "Buy Alexei vodka!" is crap. What do you reckon would be a better? Buy Ron beer. Buy me beer. Buy me beer, you bastard. Buy my silence. Buy my kids shoes. Buy my kids' shoes. Buy my kids.

I'm useless at this stuff. Do you have any suggestions?