Daft quote of the week

[oldboots]

I expect we've all heard the excuse for poor beer "real ale's supposed to taste like that" or some similar tripe. I heard a new piece of idiocy from a barman yesterday, I asked why he had a sparkler on one southern beer but not on another?

His reply, " Real Ales have to be served through a sparkler; I'm just going to the cellar to get one for that pump."

Over heard in the same pub;

bloke 1 "You've just missed your "mate" "
bloke 2 "oh no I haven't I knew he was coming"

[RogerB]

I was in a pub in Eltham a couple of weeks ago where Courage Best appeared to be the only Ale available so I naturally opted for it. The response..."Sorry, we don't serve ales, the pumps are just for show".

[Conrad]

I was in a pub in Eltham a couple of weeks ago where Courage Best appeared to be the only Ale available so I naturally opted for it. The response..."Sorry, we don't serve ales, the pumps are just for show".

I didn't realise how soon I would need that icon.

[Rex_Rattus]

I was in a pub once when a chap walked in, to be greeted by one of his chums at the bar "pint of Fosters John?". John replied - "No thanks, that's rubbish - I'll have a pint of Carling".

[Strongers]

When I was going through my first, and probably not last, ale phase a guy I knew through association asked me what I was drinking. “It’s a Deuchars” I said, “I don’t drink that foreign muck’ was the retort as he gulped back on his Carlsberg.

[aleandhearty]

Not daft, but certainly the funniest of the week:

I was drinking in the Bull & Fairhouse this afternoon when a guy came bounding in and asked 'Do you serve John Smith's Smoothflow?'

The landlord, giving a masterclass in lugubriousness, paused momentarily before replying 'Yes. I'm afraid we do.'

[Millay]

Overheard in a pub one Sunday lunchtime, a group of teenagers getting over the night before.

Girl 1 : How were you this morning?

Girl 2 : Not very good, I was pretty inebriated last night. Inebriated? Is that the right word?

Girl 1 : Yeah, you were really pissed.

Girl 2 : Right, I knew it was something to do with either drink or sex.

Boy 1 : Well in your case it’s usually both.

Said boy gets a swift kick in the shins under the table.

[HTM69]

I was in a pub once when a chap walked in, to be greeted by one of his chums at the bar "pint of Fosters John?". John replied - "No thanks, that's rubbish - I'll have a pint of Carling".

POST OF THE MONTH! Hilarious!