"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
-W.C.Fields
A tongue-in-cheek post taken from The White Swan in Aylesbury's Facebook page:
"Later today we will reveal our new 'Covid Fighting Substantial Meal Menus', but wish to apologise in advance for our dreadfully slow service during the course of your meal.
We appreciate slow service can be an annoying thing, but would remind all customers that these are trying times and the bar is open for drinks while you wait (served at your table of course to ensure that pesky Covid can't get you because you are sat down).
Thank you in advance for understanding, as our single member of staff in the kitchen might take up to 2/3 hours to complete your orders.
Please note: due to our staff's inability to handle more than one order at a time, if you come at busy periods, such as weekends, your wait may be even longer "
The menu includes 'Yoghurt of the Day' as a dessert...
"Breakneck speed we drown ten pints of bitter"
This bloke has no chance of getting ill.