Agree with all that you say, except that, without checking, I think Ferguson's squeeze went round to his for a shag, not the way you had it. The result is the same whatever.
Hey, if only they were all just plain corrupt. Between narcissism, corruption, blissful ignorance of foreign manipulation, stupidity and good old-fashioned callousness, it's remarkable that these guys keep on getting re-elected. I'm all in favour of a bit of self-harm if that's what you're into, but 40% or more of the electorate going "yes, whip me harder" is something I will never get my head around.