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There are loads of things this blog doesn't do. (Amuse, excite, entertain.) For a variety of reasons. Mostly because I'm an intensely lazy person. But it isn't just that.

Beer news. I don't do that. With my head so firmly stuck up the arse of the past, news would be out of place. But that isn't the only reason. Everyone and his estate agent posts beer news. Quite often in the form of a regurgitated press release. Occasionally there's some form of commentary. But by no means always. And, unless it's about one of the big boys, the commentary is rarely very critical.

Beer reviews. I don't do them either. (Unless you count phrases like "full of beery goodness" a review. I don't.) Partly because they're so flipping difficult to write without lapsing into repetition or pretension. Or both. Also the fact I rarely drunk new beers at home (I prefer to trap beers in the wild and barbecue them in situ). Achingly dull for the readers after a while, too. I want a bit more from a blog than some geek's description of what he drank yesterday evening. Why write something I wouldn't read myself?

There's one reason that far outweighs those I've already mentioned. The risk of manipulation. Relying on press releases and freebie beers for material is a dangerous path to follow. You run the risk of becoming an unpaid publicist of brewers who understand how to exploit bloggers.

That's the good news. There is no news. At least here at Shut up about Barclay Perkins.