The poll is in. The question was “Ought Beer Festivals stock a nice keg of ice cold fizzy lout?” An astonishing 37 people bothered to take part and if that’s not conclusive I don’t know what is. Out of 37 people (37 people actually bother to read this tosh?, has the internet run out of Abi Titmuss videos?) 43%, or 16 voted a resounding YES agreeing the lout is a traditional beer style in its own right. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Considering that 72% of people with nothing better to do than read crap on the internet are pongy ale drinkers, see here, that means pong lovers want to see the lout on.

Half that sum 21% or 8 people voted that only "proper" lager defined by what beardies like and what they don't ought be at the geekery events. Fence sitters maybe, but at least they want to see some form of lager to break the tedium of endless scoops of pong.

A pitfull few 13 people or 35% voted No way AT ALL, EVER, lager is for puffs. So there you have it. Tandy and Clarkey take note. We expect to find some lout on at whatever festival you’ve got coming up.