I was in a JDW last Saturday afternoon, not the biggest bar in the empire by any means and not that busy, in fact when I arrived at the bar there was only one other customer being served by the solitary bar staff who actually saw me as our eyes met. He eventually finished taking the food order from this punter and looked around like a frightened rabbit at myself, another man lately arrived at the bar and the two giggling girls who were consulting the menu. The barman of course turned to the man immediately in front of him who had the good grace to point out who was actually next. The barman took my order, pulled half a pint, said “better let it settle” and after taking the money strode off to serve the other man. After a few minutes another JDW person arrived, Who's next?” I pointed at my half poured beer and she finished pouring the rest of the pint saying “oh it needs a top up”. It was drinkable but not terribly fresh.

I then sat in the corner opposite a middle aged woman and her “beau” who was standing behind her, I soon became aware of a difference of opinion between the two as the frequency and volume of the swearing increased, I thought he was drunk and she was upset at this however I was soon disabused of this opinion when she slid off the leather seat onto the floor and he struggled to pick her up. After he had staggered out of the pub carrying his sweetheart I noticed the reason she had slid so gracefully to the floor – the large puddle of p*** on the seat and now a large puddle of p*** on the floor where she had come to rest. Quite a lot of p*** for such a small woman I thought. Someone attempted to take the seat but was soon dissuaded from this by a group of old lads who had also witnessed this artistic display. To give credit where it's due the JDW staff did eventually put a “cleaning in progress” sign over the puddle – needless to say no cleaning actually took place before I left shortly afterwards.

So what features of your local 'spoons do you love?