These words could well have described the beer I had at the
White Swan in Chesterfield today:
"Schrödinger's Cat is Alive / Dead", brewed on the Little Ale Cart plant by
Steel City Brewing.
OK, so it's dark and malty, a bit like a mild. And OK, it's brim full of hops, a bit like an IPA, but they all clash horribly with each other and the only sensation on the palate is an overwhelming astringency. There's no balance, and no attempt to make a pleasant drink. The Steel City website reads like a long list of hops, the more obscure the better, and they've clearly been chucked into the brew in vast quantities with no concern as to what the resulting brew might taste like, like undergraduates discovering spices and making a curry for the first time.
If you look at successful dark bitters like Jennings Sneck Lifter or York Centurion's Ghost, they are beautifully balanced, with a quaffable maltiness and a restrained hoppiness that results in a moreish drinking experience. I only had a half of Schrödinger's Cat and I struggled to get that down.