The Pub Curmudgeon - Curmudgeon distilled
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Some years ago I came up with a list of bullet points that could be said to sum up the key themes of my Opening Times column.
- Who let those bloody kids in here?
- Never mind the quality, look at the number of handpumps
- Electric meters deliver full measures and a consistent pint
- This expanse of carpet used to be a wonderful little snug
- Two pints bad, ten pints good
- Chips with everything
- The family have been brewing good beer on this site since 1842
- I may dislike what you do, but I will defend your right to do it
- Why are there no sodding beermats?Haven’t you got anything better to do, officer?
All should be pretty self-explanatory.
This dates back to around 2000, before the blanket smoking ban was even a cloud on the horizon – remember that it was not a Labour manifesto commitment even in the 2005 General Election campaign.
Nowadays, apart from that, I don’t think it’s very different, although either #8 needs to be replaced with a more specific “First they came for the smokers...” or that added as a separate point.
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