View Full Version : Pub annoyances #834
NickDavies
31-01-2010, 18:49
You and a friend arrive and are getting the drinks in at the bar while the girls go off on an urgent inspection of the facilities. You've got your eye on a table, your favourite, the one by the fire with the nice view of the garden. Just as you've got served a party come in and promptly deposit coats, shopping and all manner of other accoutrements on chairs around 'your' table. Tough, you say, life's a bitch.
But they don't bloody well sit down. They go and stand nattering to their mates already blocking up the bar (see pub annoyance #74) for the next 40 minutes while an ever increasing crowd stands watching hopefully for That Table to become free. If they really want to rub it in they'll park a baby in a pushchair (see pub annoyance #315) to keep watch.
Oh and if you're having a really bad day pub annoyance #634 (Being Invisible To The Bar Staff) will occur, meaning they will have got served in front of you too.
You and a friend arrive and are getting the drinks in at the bar while the girls go off on an urgent inspection of the facilities. You've got your eye on a table, your favourite, the one by the fire with the nice view of the garden.
....
, meaning they will have got served in front of you too.
You've been JDW'd :whistle:
runningdog
31-01-2010, 19:20
You've got your eye on a table, your favourite, the one by the fire with the nice view of the garden. Just as you've got served a party come in and promptly deposit coats, shopping and all manner of other accoutrements on chairs around 'your' table.
Ahh, but then there's #252, Nick, you get your beer, decide to sit down at an empty table, and enjoy it. Then, up he/they come, 'Sorry, mate, we're sitting here'. ' Not on your bluidy life you're not'.
It's usually about then that I become pub annoyance #96, the stupid old sod who won't take a telling..........:drinkup:
You've been JDW'd :whistle:
Grrr.. you are close to be marked man in my black book..:whistle:
Is Bristol's JDW that bad? No wonder it is big city hence millions of people visit world famous JDWs!
Hoppy's number one pub annoyance..
people queue jumping. I simply cant stand these queue jumping people!
I remember last Tuesday in Silk Kite (Tamworth) I was patiently waiting for good 5 mins then new customer simply shouted to barman "PINT OF FOSTERS!!!" then barman duly served him!
I felt like I wanted to punch his face (well I am not violence, honestly!) and I just kept quiet. Finally I got served!
Oggwyn Trench
31-01-2010, 20:17
On my trip to Oxford it was the bloody Americans that annoyed me , sitting having a quite pint when they barge in stride up to the bar and shout at the barmaid "TABLE FOR TWO" the look on the barmaids face a mixture of seen it all before and death stare , and then there was the one who asked for a pint of Bombadier and when told they did`nt serve it , loudly told everbody in the pub "its not a real beer house its a pretend one " and of course theres the ones who complain that they cant get Old Peculier in every pub .............
PS appoligies to DPV(Not all are bad)
Grrr.. you are close to be marked man in my black book..:whistle:
Is Bristol's JDW that bad? No wonder it is big city hence millions of people visit world famous JDWs!
I think a fairer sentence would be that Bristol's JDW's are just not that good, but then most of the city center pubs are not that good, you need to get just off the main roads to find the good pubs in Bristol.
The more accurate term recently for us would be you have been O'Neill's'd, had appalling service in there on Thursday lunch, so we are once again doing the pub rotation of the centre to find a decent lunchtime pub.
I think a fairer sentence would be that Bristol's JDW's are just not that good, but then most of the city center pubs are not that good, you need to get just off the main roads to find the good pubs in Bristol.
As far as JDW’s are concerned I remember the Commercial Rooms in Bristol, an old Gentleman’s club I believe that had seen better days, and the Knights Templar near the station. Good pubs that I do remember were the Cornubia, the Seven Stars, the Bank and the Kings Head. Plenty of pubs in Bristol as I recall and we were fortunate enough to have a local guide to show us the good ones.
On my trip to Oxford it was the bloody Americans that annoyed me , sitting having a quite pint when they barge in stride up to the bar and shout at the barmaid "TABLE FOR TWO" the look on the barmaids face a mixture of seen it all before and death stare , and then there was the one who asked for a pint of Bombadier and when told they did`nt serve it , loudly told everbody in the pub "its not a real beer house its a pretend one " and of course theres the ones who complain that they cant get Old Peculier in every pub .............
PS appoligies to DPV(Not all are bad)
Oh yeah.. tell me about it especially Yanks tourists in Stratford Upon Avon! I remember I went to pub called Pen and Parchment in Stratford. I was reading my paper, two American couple ordered two pints of Bass. They never tried British beer before so they decide to taste one.
Next thing I know.. American man simply shouted "WHAT THIS SHIT BEER? too bloody warm!!!" and we can simply overheard him! He marched to bar and ordered something much colder. He got pint of.... Coors!
Now we Brits know Bass never served cold..
As far as JDW’s are concerned I remember the Commercial Rooms in Bristol, an old Gentleman’s club I believe that had seen better days, and the Knights Templar near the station. Good pubs that I do remember were the Cornubia, the Seven Stars, the Bank and the Kings Head. Plenty of pubs in Bristol as I recall and we were fortunate enough to have a local guide to show us the good ones.
A pretty fair assessment, Knights Templar is an ok pub, inoffensive is the best word I can think of, it is close to the train station and I have used it a couple of times in business meetings of people off the train, too much glass for me personally with the plasmas arrayed all round the room as well, but clean enough. The Commercial Rooms is a really nice building with tons of potential and a good location, and it is a shame to see it so abused. I seem to remember the condiments are at the front arrayed round a little bust that was presumably meaningful at some point but now just in the way of plastic sachet progress.
Whereas the good pubs you mention are just that, the Seven Stars is probably the most familiar to me from having had a few drinks in there before gigs in the Fleece, always been a nice pleasant pub next door to my favourite venue in Bristol, the Fleece & Firkin (fond memories of watching Tim Booth and All About Eve there).
arwkrite
31-01-2010, 22:26
What is it about foreigners ?......Istanbul Airport ...Outward bound with B.A just after the Soviet system went belly up and Russians were buying anything and everything. Their Idea ofCabin luggage was scary plus their planes were stuck on the ground the landing fees had not been paid.While waitng for a drink I saw a Russian woman take up SIX SEATS with her cabin luggage. Now with drinks in hand mrs wanted a seat. Follow me..emptied two seats of gaffer taped boxes. Up came the harpy in full cry. Masterfully I told her who had won the Cold War and if she paid the take off fee she could have her seats back. More harpy screaming which attracted security.A quick show of boarding cards resulted in the rest of the seats being cleared throughout the airport lounge.GREAT. Mind you when our flight was called on time you could hear the hissing as we walked out.The same people are now probably blocking seats in JDWs.
Soup Dragon
31-01-2010, 22:38
I think we are all missing pub annoyance #1 - no MILD....... nuff said:moremad:
and annoyance #2 - you go to the bog and are washing your hands with fragrant soap, when some guy has a p*** and walks out leaving you to open the door using the same handle where his hands have been, those that have just tucked his winkle back in, hopefully after 'shaking' all residue off:sick:
Finally - annoyance #3 :twigs::twigs::twigs: and more f*****g:twigs:
Finally - annoyance #3 :twigs::twigs::twigs: and more f*****g:twigs:
Oh dear.. I'll make note.. "Don't invite Soupy to Ember Inn, especially The Fox, Hopwas" :whistle:
Soup Dragon
31-01-2010, 22:45
Oh dear.. I'll make note.. "Don't invite Soupy to Ember Inn, especially The Fox, Hopwas" :whistle:
Did it.... wont go back. Have you done the Plaza in Rugeley yet, Squire?
arwkrite
31-01-2010, 22:57
Apart from JDWs how many pubs have hot water in the gents let alone soap. I agree with your comment about not washing hands but I remember my mrs saying the same about the female toilets.For a long time I have carried a shoulder bag. Not everyones choice but I am use to it for camera,batteries and such like. I also carry antibiotic hand wipes.Spending time around hospitals the hand cleansing routine has stayed with me.
Never eat from the free nut bowls on the bar either, makes sense when you see customers not washing their hands. I would rather pay for a sealed packet.
Did it.... wont go back. Have you done the Plaza in Rugeley yet, Squire?
Nope not yet.
Why?
runningdog
01-02-2010, 00:11
[QUOTE=Oggwyn Trench ;5925].....theres the ones who complain that they cant get Old Peculier in every pub .QUOTE]
What's wrong about wanting Old Peculiar in every pub, makes sense to me..........:drinkup::drinkup:
ROBCamra
01-02-2010, 10:47
Oh yeah.. tell me about it especially Yanks tourists in Stratford Upon Avon! I remember I went to pub called Pen and Parchment in Stratford. I was reading my paper, two American couple ordered two pints of Bass. They never tried British beer before so they decide to taste one.
Next thing I know.. American man simply shouted "WHAT THIS SHIT BEER? too bloody warm!!!" and we can simply overheard him! He marched to bar and ordered something much colder. He got pint of.... Coors!
Now we Brits know Bass never served cold..
Mind you the Pen & Parchment is a terrible tourist hole, as is much of Stratford. Only the Windmill and the Thatched House come through with much merit.
I feel a review coming on :(
Oh yeah.. tell me about it especially Yanks tourists in Stratford Upon Avon! I remember I went to pub called Pen and Parchment in Stratford. I was reading my paper, two American couple ordered two pints of Bass. They never tried British beer before so they decide to taste one.
Next thing I know.. American man simply shouted "WHAT THIS SHIT BEER? too bloody warm!!!" and we can simply overheard him! He marched to bar and ordered something much colder. He got pint of.... Coors!
Now we Brits know Bass never served cold..
For those who have not seen this worth a perusal "The Pubs of Emsworth -advice for visitors from abroad, Some advice for Foreign Visitors" linked from Emsworth pubs web site
http://www.emsworthpubs.org.uk/Advice.htm
Snippet below
"Research findings: American visitors experienced particular language-barrier problems with two drinks: Cider and Martini. Please note that Cider, in Britain, is an alcoholic drink, of about the same strength as beer. If you order "A Martini", you will not get a cocktail: you will get a glass of Martini (vermouth) - no gin or vodka, and no olive."
This made me laugh!
Dont ring the bell. Some pubs have a large bell attached to the wall at one end of the bar. This is used by the publican or bar staff to signal last orders and time . If you ring the bell, customers may interpret this as the last orders signal, and will all rush to the bar to buy their last drinks making it even more difficult for you to get served, and incurring the wrath of the publican!
arwkrite
01-02-2010, 14:13
A martini aint a martini unless its got an olive I dont like vermouth so at least the olive would give me something to suck on. I don't think Americans and English should drink together because if they don't end up fighting each other then they will look around for some place else to have a war.
Rex_Rattus
01-02-2010, 16:11
OK, time to redress the balance a bit and for someone to have something good to say about Americans. I really believe that the sort of stereotypical loud and brash Americans mentioned in this thread are a minority. I meet American tourists all the time in my wanderings around London pubs, and I often go out of my way to speak to them and invariably find them good company, and willing to talk about - and even learn something about - English pubs and beers. Of course there is no excuse for the sort of rude behaviour mentioned previously, but I think all nationalities have their bad eggs and I don't think American tourists are really worse than any others.
Tilly-Miss
01-02-2010, 16:19
What annoys me most : Sky TV and a juke box blaring away,im sure if i wanted to watch tv i would stay home,why do pubs always have to have the music so loud? its so annoying trying to talk to people, lets get back to the old days where you went to drink and smoke and chat to people without annoying tv and music.
arwkrite
01-02-2010, 16:30
Have you noticed that most customers seem to be carrying on conversation by text so they are not bothered by the music or tv. I would be really annoyed if I went out for a drink and my partner ignored me to play with the mobile phone. I saw a landlord at it last night.
oldboots
01-02-2010, 16:42
A martini aint a martini unless its got an olive I dont like vermouth so at least the olive would give me something to suck on.
I saw a recipe for dry martini once (on MASH I think), it said pour a glass of Gin, take top of bottle of Vermouth, leave in same room for 10 mins, add olive and drink.
No-one mentioned number 94 yet? Bar Blockers - the dispiriting sight of a row of fat arses hanging off a line of bar stools gets me everytime :moremad:.
Maldenman
01-02-2010, 20:38
Bar Blockers are definitely the thing, Especially when there are several handpumps with clips to check. I find that ignorant beyond comprehension. Personally I rarely sit at the bar, usually only if no option. It all smacks to me of the false friendship bit with the clique on stools chatting to the landlord, in the old days there would be a packet of Dunhill and a gold lighter, pint of Stella for him and a Bacardi for the fake tanned missus.
Rex_Rattus
01-02-2010, 20:42
Have you noticed that most customers seem to be carrying on conversation by text so they are not bothered by the music or tv. I would be really annoyed if I went out for a drink and my partner ignored me to play with the mobile phone. I saw a landlord at it last night.
I'm with you there, but I think this a whole society issue rather than specifically a pub issue. I read something today about something called a "nonversation". This seems to be when one party is trying to have a conversation with another party who only makes sporadic and unintelligible responses because their attention is really devoted to whatever gadget they are playing with at the time. And seeing someone walking at me down the street and not looking where they're going because they're "texting" gets my goat as well. And I really do hate music being played too loudly in pubs - and that's almost as bad as one-armed bandits that still have the sound enabled! I think I've been promoted from Boring Old F*** to Miserable Old G**!
Maldenman
01-02-2010, 20:57
Rex, you are vying for my place as the most miserable man alive. At my recent office Christmas party I walked the award for biggest moaner/most miserable ar$e of the year and quite right too. There are so many things that annoy me about modern life I could write a series of books. My daughter recently asked me to list things that wind me up but it got embarrassing especially as I put them into categories. Almost 30 were supermarket related, 20 or so to do with pubs. As for the person in front texting or stopping to check their phone,oblivious to who is behind. AAAArgggghhhh!
NickDavies
02-02-2010, 09:12
Bar Blockers are definitely the thing, Especially when there are several handpumps with clips to check. I find that ignorant beyond comprehension. Personally I rarely sit at the bar, usually only if no option. It all smacks to me of the false friendship bit with the clique on stools chatting to the landlord, in the old days there would be a packet of Dunhill and a gold lighter, pint of Stella for him and a Bacardi for the fake tanned missus.
Ahh that's the FoGs - Friends of Guvnor. At its most insidious the guvnor will be sitting on the customer's side of the bar with the FoGs and some hapless junior will have to attend to their every whim, always serving them in front of the paying customers. If that's going on the chances are the FoGs have some sort of hold over the guvnor, usually invoving some financial or legal indiscretion.
runningdog
02-02-2010, 10:48
Gotta say, Farway, I thoroughly enjoyed the Emsworth link, it was a bit like watching an old Brian Rix Aldwych farce, so much truth mixed up with so much missing the point.
I have to admit I agree with King Rat about Americans, both in general, and tourist in particular. With regard to the hilarious thought that there is a universal etiquette to observe when ordering a drink, I know a helluva lot of Brits that give the Yanks more than a run for their money when it comes to shouting, gesticulating and pushing in. I met a load last night.
Then there's the constant allusion to 'good' bar staff. I've got a job spotting them in a strange pub, what hope has a tourist, just48 hours out of the Bronx got. A warning that they are not all experienced and sympathetic might not have come amiss.
Anyhow, never mind how to tell if it's a pub or no, how do you tell if it's open. That's my pub annoyance #253. The, usually country, pub that looks open at half past three in the afternoon but turns out to be shut when you get inside.
Years ago my cousin owned a pub that was beside a main road. He hated the 'customer' who used the loos then vainished after buying nowt. There were two doors to the loos, one prominent, just inside the door, the other unobtrusive, at the far end of the bar. If you went to the bar and asked he invariably said 'Fine, mate, help yourself' and pointed out the back entrance.The outer door to the first one was open, you went in and it shut behind you, when you went to leave the doorknob came off in your hand and you had to shout for help. He gave up because the carpet kept getting wet.:drinkup::drinkup::drinkup:
Ah, found another one on Sunday, the free peanut hoggers, you know, on Sundays the pub puts on a free [minute] bowl of peanuts / crisps, then some greedy git snaffles it and all you have left is a few p*ssed soaked ones [allegedly, according to some survey yonks ago]
Shut or not pubs, a few years back went in one in small rural, thatched cottage type, village, sat down near nice roaring fire, landlord came out, looked at us, then vanished for ever, we walked up the road to only alternative pub, barst@rd, utter utter b@rstard. Included in my review of course, pub changed hands subsequently, wonder why?
ROBCamra
02-02-2010, 13:48
Ahh that's the FoGs - Friends of Guvnor. At its most insidious the guvnor will be sitting on the customer's side of the bar with the FoGs and some hapless junior will have to attend to their every whim, always serving them in front of the paying customers. If that's going on the chances are the FoGs have some sort of hold over the guvnor, usually invoving some financial or legal indiscretion.
Hmmmmm! I'm going to be a FOG tonight at The Baum then, with the Guvnor sitting on our side of the bar. :cheers:
Everyone will still get served in turn though, and if it gets busy (on a wet Tuesday in February, ha!) then Simon will always go back behind the bar.
I'll have to find out what he's been up to indiscretion wise though. :whistle:
aleandhearty
02-02-2010, 15:25
No-one mentioned number 94 yet? Bar Blockers - the dispiriting sight of a row of fat arses hanging off a line of bar stools gets me everytime :moremad:.
If they didn't look too menacing I'd be tempted to order a glass of water with my pint and walk along the row dripping a bit in each bumcrack! ;)
Wittenden
02-02-2010, 16:55
OK, time to redress the balance a bit and for someone to have something good to say about Americans. I really believe that the sort of stereotypical loud and brash Americans mentioned in this thread are a minority. I meet American tourists all the time in my wanderings around London pubs, and I often go out of my way to speak to them and invariably find them good company, and willing to talk about - and even learn something about - English pubs and beers. Of course there is no excuse for the sort of rude behaviour mentioned previously, but I think all nationalities have their bad eggs and I don't think American tourists are really worse than any others.
I agree, most visitors to"our" pubs are fine,though there are "oiks" from all nations. I must admit I'd be totally at sea etiquet -wise in an American bar-all that business with change and tipping. Highly unlikely that I'll ever go there-Mrs W hates flying, and my passport has run out, and I don't really fancy bunging Gordon £70 or what ever to renew it. We have our hols in Yorkshire, and I claim the right of ancestral homecoming!
Oggwyn Trench
02-02-2010, 17:35
I must admit whem i`m abroad the behavior of the British makes me cringe :moremad:
Alesonly
02-02-2010, 19:11
The top five annoyances for me in Pubs are as follows I could give a whole Page so here’s just the top Five.
1) Several TVs on different station all on too loud at the same time with the Juke Box still blaring away as well.
2) Pubs that allow children too run around uncontrolled.
3) Pubs with no Real Ale.
4) Bar Blockers that just stand the three deep talking even though there’s plenty of empty seating.
5) Staff that are totally disinterested in the job with no manners or Please & Thank You. :moremad:
5) Staff that are totally disinterested in the job with no manners or Please & Thank You. :moremad:
So true, hadn't really thought of it to add to this thread, but it is amazing how quickly I will never visit a pub when the staff show no interest, or indeed just ignore me for people who clearly have just walked up to the bar.
ROBCamra
03-02-2010, 08:48
Hmmmmm! I'm going to be a FOG tonight at The Baum then, with the Guvnor sitting on our side of the bar. :cheers:
Everyone will still get served in turn though, and if it gets busy (on a wet Tuesday in February, ha!) then Simon will always go back behind the bar.
I'll have to find out what he's been up to indiscretion wise though. :whistle:
Not busy, on a wet Tuesday in February, you're joking.
It was the local CAMRA branch meeting upstairs so there were 18 in.
The bad news was the announcement that the Oldham Beer festival has been cancelled for this year.:mad:
NickDavies
06-02-2010, 16:04
#317 is Puttting Your Sandwich On Your Napkin On The Plate. The thing is rendered completely useless by being already covered in crumbs or rendered soggy from salad or greasy from chips. Should you require a napkin for purposes of protecting your clothes and wiping you mouth and hands you are required to make a special application to the person who has spent all morning wrapping the remaining stock around knives and forks, and undoing one again is deemed a massive favour.
Soup Dragon
06-02-2010, 17:51
The guy who insists on giving you a running commentary of the match you are watching and then there is the guy who waits for you to order food or drinks and then tells you - "I wouldn't have ordered that here, mate"
The guy who insists on giving you a running commentary of the match you are watching and then there is the guy who waits for you to order food or drinks and then tells you - "I wouldn't have ordered that here, mate"
This is the guy I sit next to at home matches, and God he never stops moaning. Oh how I laugh everytime a player scores against this idiots advice.
arwkrite
06-02-2010, 20:53
I have no idea why ( there is a lot I dont know but I am working through the list) people will insist in congregating around choke points i.e. door ways, hall ways ,stairway. Anywhere there is restricted passage despite the rest of the room being unoccupied.This applies anywhere not just pubs and annoys the hell out of me.:moremad:
Oggwyn Trench
06-02-2010, 21:50
This is the guy I sit next to at home matches, and God he never stops moaning. Oh how I laugh everytime a player scores against this idiots advice.
You poor buger , having to work with Dave as well
Shhhhhh, he might not have realised ;)
I encountered one of my big annoyances a couple of days ago. The words “a pint of the Clarks Blond please” were still being carried by the sound waves between myself and the barmaid when she cut them off rapier-like with a curt “anything else?”. “Just any sort of indication that you have the slightest understanding of the concept of effing customer service will do” I said …to myself. :mad:
#1007 - In any mainline railway station, there is a good chance that the pub/bar will be run by an outfit called Select Service Partner (whatever the apparent branding, or lack thereof). The staff are contractually obliged to ask "would you like any crisps or nuts with that" when you buy a drink, even when you know exactly what's coming and you ask for "a pint of [whatever] please, and no crisps or nuts or anything else thank you very much"...
NickDavies
07-02-2010, 09:21
#1007 - In any mainline railway station, there is a good chance that the pub/bar will be run by an outfit called Select Service Partner (whatever the apparent branding, or lack thereof). The staff are contractually obliged to ask "would you like any crisps or nuts with that" when you buy a drink, even when you know exactly what's coming and you ask for "a pint of [whatever] please, and no crisps or nuts or anything else thank you very much"...
Before the de-merger into M&B, Vintage/Ember Inns, Harvesters and all the rest of them were owned by Six Continents, which also owned Britvic. Britvic own the UK franchise for Pepsi. The poor wretched bar staff were made to tell anyone asking for Coke that they must have Pepsi instead. Much enjoyment to be had of course, by always ordering Coke in such places should the opportunitry arise.
I wonder if anyone ever declined the offer of Pepsi saying they only liked Coke?
Before the de-merger into M&B, Vintage/Ember Inns, Harvesters and all the rest of them were owned by Six Continents, which also owned Britvic. Britic own the UK franchise for Pepsi. The poor wretched bar staff were made to tell anyone asking for Coke that they must have Pepsi instead. Much enjoyment to be had of course, by always ordering Coke in such places should the opportunitry arise.
I wonder if anyone ever declined the offer of Pepsi saying they only liked Coke?
Yes. Someone has.
THAT was a long day...
Seriously I can't even remember when is the last time I ordered Coke/Pepsi in bar..
One of my main pub gripes is when you fight to get to the front of the bar, order the real ale of your choice from the handpumps on display, only to be told that one is off, but the clip has not been reversed.
And trying not to offend Hopwas, but it is a technique perfected by Wetherspoons establishments....:mad:
One of my main pub gripes is when you fight to get to the front of the bar, order the real ale of your choice from the handpumps on display, only to be told that one is off, but the clip has not been reversed.
And trying not to offend Hopwas, but it is a technique perfected by Wetherspoons establishments....:mad:
Not at all Gann.. I am getting used to this in all JDWs.
But worst offender is.. I am sure Soupy will be pleased.. Ember Inn. They always forget to turn the clip around especially at my local The Fox.
I detested this at a JDW I went in a while back. A proud bank of 12 HPs, all with clips on Saturday Lunchtime (over their beer festival). Ordered a pint, as the young lady told me that it wasn't quite ready yet, a bloke came up and started putting those little 'coming soon' stickers on them. 10 of them. :'(
Pubsignman
07-02-2010, 13:51
#42
Mainly, but by no means exclusively, a problem in Nicholsons pubs.
Me: And can I have a bag of peanuts please?
Barmaid: We have cashews or chilli nuts.
Me: No dry roasted peanuts?
Barmaid: No
Me: Okay, I'll have a bag of cheese and Onion crisps instead.
Barmaid: We don't have Cheese and Onion.
Me: Salt and Vinegar then.
Barmaid: We have Mature Cheddar and Burgundy or Parmesan and Shallot.
Me: You're joking me...okay just give me some pork scratchings.
Barmaid: (blank expression)
Me: You don't have them either, do you?
Barmaid: Sorry sir
Me: Okay, okay, I give up...give me a bowl of chilli nuts.
Barmaid: Certainly sir. That will be £2.50.
Me: :eek:
Oggwyn Trench
07-02-2010, 19:04
The loud and animated conversation in the Hare & Hounds last night appeared to consist mostly of the words F##K and C##T , when someone complained to the barstaff about it the reply was "they are regulars " , and they wonder why they got no customers :moremad:
The beer was crap as well:moremad::moremad:
Strongers
08-02-2010, 20:35
An annoyance that reared its ugly head yesterday whilst I was watching Chelsea v Arsenal were the people that come into the pub and stand by the door and stay for the game without buying a drink. They are then disgusted when challenged about having no drink.
I have been in a pub before where the governor has turned the match off and bellowed that he wouldn’t turn it on again until every person present had a drink in their hand. The cheapskates soon slinked out to cheers from the masses.
aleandhearty
09-02-2010, 11:55
When I go to a pub and order a decent real ale the following is one of my worst case scenarios. As I live in West Yorkshire he's invariably 'John Smith's Man'. Although it could easily be Greene King etc. in your neck of the woods. Propping up the bar, or sitting on a bar stool, he's just dying to pounce:
"Oh I couldn't drink that stuff mate. It's far too.. strong / sweet / floral / hoppy (delete as appropriate). At least you know where you are with John's, it always tastes the same, wherever you go".
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Yes, tasteless, metallic 'McBeer' does, you muppet! :muppet:
ROBCamra
09-02-2010, 12:22
When I go to a pub and order a decent real ale the following is one of my worst case scenarios. As I live in West Yorkshire he's invariably 'John Smith's Man'. Although it could easily be Greene King etc. in your neck of the woods. Propping up the bar, or sitting on a bar stool, he's just dying to pounce:
"Oh I couldn't drink that stuff mate. It's far too.. strong / sweet / floral / hoppy (delete as appropriate). At least you know where you are with John's, it always tastes the same, wherever you go".
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Yes, tasteless, metallic 'McBeer' does, you muppet! :muppet:
Similar experience about 3 weeks ago in the Baum.
2 blokes walk in, both about 40, they survey the 6 handpumps.
They then walk round the side of the bar to look at the lager fonts.
Then one :muppet: asks "Have you not got any proper beer, like John Smiths?"
And then his mate pipes up "Or some proper lager like Carling or Carlsberg?"
Er no we don't sell any smooth bitters and only premium lagers, came the answer.
Then :muppet: and :muppet: walk out and one shouts back.
"What a f**kin' waste of time this place is, we're going to the Brickcroft, they have good beer there" (a large Working Mens Club across the road)
As they leave a loud burst of laughter follows them.:D
trainman
09-02-2010, 13:54
Vive la diffrence!
Some folk are determined that they 'like what they like' without trying any new taste experience, and in the case of carling/fosters we can probably make that 'any taste experience'. It's another reason (apart from a superb advertising team) that guinness has such a huge market share - most will never have tried the superior (imo) tasting real stouts and would most likely approach such beers with a closed mind if they did have to make a Hobson's choice (no, not the MILD!). I don't mean this to be in any way offensive to those who genuinely like guinness, fair play to those who do, but I'd guess only a small % have experimented.
I have a similar tale to ROB's when in the splendid Queen's Head, Chelmsford, a coupla lager chaps were left visibly perturbed by the absence of recognised 'brands' & had to choose between Kaltenberg Hell or Warsteiner (ok, I looked it up). To be fair, they went greatly up in my estimation when they decided to stay for a second.
'Brickcroft'? The name alone conjures a fairly unsalubrious image.
Enjoyed your tale too, a&h, especially as set-in-t'ways-john-smiths-man also evokes/compounds the impression of insular yorkies; summat y'all seem most proud of...
ps. I vaguely recall your superb phrase 'A day outta Yorkshire is a day wasted', or summat to that effect.
Review to follow, but went in Oneils in Oxford on my tour last night (never been in one before, doubt I will again). No HPs. In case there was another bar or I was missing something, I asked the girl behind the bar if they serve cask ale.
'Whats that?'
I believe the phrase 'nuff said' comes into its own here.
trainman
09-02-2010, 14:02
'Whats that?'
'Nuff said indeed Eddie! I tend to find myself, by way of explanation, mimicking the action of a beer engine whilst asking the question. It's always a rhetorical question anyway - it just explains to anyone watching, staff or punters, the reason one is spinning on one's heel & heading elsewhere for a proper drink.
arwkrite
09-02-2010, 15:34
Not seen real ale in O'Neil'
s it seems more common lagers and Guinness. They are even short on any Irish smooth beers. Popped in to the one in Worcester and shared a cheap bottle of wine on occasion but can see no reason to visit there now.
I have always found it prudent never to criticize another drinkers choice of refreshment.He is the one drinking it whether I think its rubbish or not and there is always the chance he may take offence and hit me with part of it.
Be at Peace with your fellow drinkers, theres enough choice for everybody.
Absolutely with you Ark.
I like different bars and pubs depending on my mood. White Horse pub had 10 ales on. Service fine, beer good nick, the works. With a few friends it would have been great. On my own, I enjoyed a few other pubs more, including a cocktail bar.
I was just surprised that she didn't know what cask ale was - I presumed the vast majority of the country knew what it was.
runningdog
09-02-2010, 16:59
Just to add to the 'John Smith's Man' sub-thread:whistle:Somewhen in the middle '90s, somewhere just off the Pennine Way, the delivery truck I was driving broke down in pub car park. 'Tis true, it did, all 28ton of it, right slap in the middle, and there I stayed for two days. Sleeper cab, nothing to do, lovely country to walk in and a real ale pub all in one place. :D The Landlord was a real ale man and had a steady stream of mainly guest ales coming out of six pumps.
Second lunch time, the guvnor and I were yarning away the time, as you do, when he breaks of and pulls a half of Mr Smiths finest. In comes an old boy, pulls up a stool, puts his money down and necks it in one, then he orders another. Half an hour later he's gone.
"Saddest man in village" sez the landlord "He'll be back, round half seven, and have a pint. Always Smiths, never tried anything else in all time I've been here. Never does anything, never speaks to anyone. Saddest man in village" He didn't even seem to like it. To be fair that was cask, not keg, and it was very popular in those days. I wish I could remember where that pub was..........:drinkup::drinkup:
Review to follow, but went in Oneils in Oxford on my tour last night (never been in one before, doubt I will again). No HPs. In case there was another bar or I was missing something, I asked the girl behind the bar if they serve cask ale.
I found this out in the Station Inn in Bloody Bognor, despite a huge sign on exterior wall claiming "Traditional Ales", only to find John Smith's tap was ll they had, at least publican sounded genuinely sorry he could not offer anything else
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/39416/
Soup Dragon
09-02-2010, 17:32
I found this out in the Station Inn in Bloody Bognor, despite a huge sign on exterior wall claiming "Traditional Ales", only to find John Smith's tap was ll they had, at least publican sounded genuinely sorry he could not offer anything else
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/39416/
Indeedy Farway
I have noted this very fact on a couple of my reports - The Vic in Scarboro being one that sticks out
Traditional fayre, my a**e
I wish I could remember where that pub was..........
Why's that runningdog, you don't think the truck might still be there do you :D:D
before gigs in the Fleece, always been a nice pleasant pub next door to my favourite venue in Bristol, the Fleece & Firkin (fond memories of watching Tim Booth and All About Eve there).
Ahh, the Fleece. Being a Bristol lad myself I went in there on occasion, god it was crap being a music fan in Bristol in the mid-90's.
I did get to see Beth Orton in there though, during her high point 'twixt Trailer Park and Central Reservation. :notworthy:
aleandhearty
10-02-2010, 08:18
"What a f**kin' waste of time this place is, we're going to the Brickcroft, they have good beer there" (a large Working Mens Club across the road)As they leave a loud burst of laughter follows them.:D
Depressingly familiar, eh ROB?
.... evokes/compounds the impression of insular yorkies; summat y'all seem most proud of...
ps. I vaguely recall your superb phrase 'A day outta Yorkshire is a day wasted', or summat to that effect.
I think the dialect word for that insularity is 'mussen-ness' as favoured by the Barnsley Bard- Ian Mc Millan. Although the saying made me smile it's not mine I'm afraid.
I have always found it prudent never to criticize another drinkers choice of refreshment.He is the one drinking it whether I think its rubbish or not and there is always the chance he may take offence and hit me with part of it.
You're absolutely right, but just as I don't criticise I don't expect to be criticised.
"Saddest man in village" sez the landlord "He'll be back, round half seven, and have a pint. Always Smiths, never tried anything else in all time I've been here. Never does anything, never speaks to anyone. Saddest man in village" He didn't even seem to like it.
There's probably an old boy like that in every village in the county. What made me laugh was the last sentence. Unmistakably Yorkshire in character. :D
arwkrite
10-02-2010, 08:47
What I meant to say A&H was I dont believe anyone has the right to pick holes in anyones choice of drink. If you are on a crawl with mates you may be critical of whats in your glass and they of theirs.If someone wants to to drink a pink concoction with all the sparklers and mini umbrella out of whatever sort of glass then I don't expect a word out of any of you. So There.
I never felt so angry in The Bishop Vessey, Boldmere (near Sutton Coldfield) last night..
I walked up to the bar, waited patiently for my turn and it was my turn to order then..
From nowhere, a man simply walked to the bar and shouted "PINT OF RUDDLES!" to only barmaid in bar. Even it was my turn, barmaid simply gave me "sorry" look and poured pint of ruddles.. That man is regular and seems don't have a care in the world about other people waiting for their turn..
When man got his pint and simply walked to his drinking "posse" I got my pint and sat down sulking..:moremad:
trainman
10-02-2010, 09:58
If you are on a crawl with mates you may be critical of whats in your glass and they of theirs.If someone wants to to drink a pink concoction with all the sparklers and mini umbrella out of whatever sort of glass then I don't expect a word out of any of you. So There.
I think I'll reserve my right to take the p1ss out of my mates' selection, thanks very much, and if they go for the pink concoction, they ain't on the next crawl!
NickDavies
10-02-2010, 12:19
#207 is those places that insist everyone has a till receipt. Hardly anyone ever wants one and with the demise of ashtrays there's nowhere to dispose of them, so the entire place ends up looking like a bookies on Grand National day.
Of course #207(a) applies when you've been sent out to fill some punters with beer on the petty cash and really do want a receipt. No-one knows how where the receipt issuing button is on the till and much ferreting around occurs until an old duplicate book complete with carbon paper is found and one is written out in longhand.
Ahh, the Fleece. Being a Bristol lad myself I went in there on occasion, god it was crap being a music fan in Bristol in the mid-90's.
I did get to see Beth Orton in there though, during her high point 'twixt Trailer Park and Central Reservation. :notworthy:
No better these days, we now have the Carling Academy in what used to be the cinema (I think) under the Ice Rink. It is better than what we had, but isn't good.
The wife is the real music fan though, and that does include Beth Orton :)
runningdog
10-02-2010, 18:47
Why's that runningdog, you don't think the truck might still be there do you :D:D
Bluidy hell, mush. I hope not, I wern't too popular then. If it is, you're welcome to it..........:whistle::cheers:
What I meant to say A&H was I dont believe anyone has the right to pick holes in anyones choice of drink. If you are on a crawl with mates you may be critical of whats in your glass and they of theirs.If someone wants to to drink a pink concoction with all the sparklers and mini umbrella out of whatever sort of glass then I don't expect a word out of any of you. So There.
I think I'll reserve my right to take the p1ss out of my mates' selection, thanks very much, and if they go for the pink concoction, they ain't on the next crawl!
I meant to reply to these yesterday, I would of course tease any mates who foolishly chose the pink concoction, and then meticulously invite them out on any future crawls as a welcome distraction from people noticing just how lightweight I am and just how quickly it goes through me. I sometimes think it would be quicker just to carry the pint glass into the gents and cut out the middle man.
arwkrite
11-02-2010, 09:59
Ever get that feeling it would have been better to have kept ones mouth shut ? I have that feeling about my pink concoctions.
I meant to reply to these yesterday, I would of course tease any mates who foolishly chose the pink concoction, and then meticulously invite them out on any future crawls as a welcome distraction from people noticing just how lightweight I am and just how quickly it goes through me. I sometimes think it would be quicker just to carry the pint glass into the gents and cut out the middle man.
I didn't realise you were a lager drinker...
:biggrin:
arwkrite
11-02-2010, 10:28
"and just how quickly it goes through me" Quote Conrad.
Cue Joke.......But honestly I can't.......its to close to home......stay away from bus journeys longer than 15 minutes after a beer ......I have to .
Now I leave the floor open for all the literal p8sstakers.
"and just how quickly it goes through me" Quote Conrad.
Cue Joke.......But honestly I can't.......its to close to home......stay away from bus journeys longer than 15 minutes after a beer ......I have to .
Now I leave the floor open for all the literal p8sstakers.
Just dont go on bus that goes from West Brom to Sutton Coldfield.. it was bloody long and took me 45 mins. My bladder was about to burst. Luckily I got off and nipped in The Bishop Vesey!
NickDavies
11-02-2010, 10:44
Just dont go on bus that goes from West Brom to Sutton Coldfield.. it was bloody long and took me 45 mins. My bladder was about to burst. Luckily I got off and nipped in The Bishop Vesey!
Now we start getting into the angst of just going in a pub for a widdle. Even when it's mobbed out you still get that feeling that eveyone's staring at you and muttering 'he's only come in for a widdle.'
arwkrite
11-02-2010, 10:52
As most of you know my mrs had problems but we did get to visit a lot more pubs, some as risky as those in Cradley ? Heath or a Turkish Social club in Germany ( they were perfect Gentlemen although we probably trampled over every social convention they had) No mention was made by either party on the Galitasery banner behind the bar.
Now we start getting into the angst of just going in a pub for a widdle. Even when it's mobbed out you still get that feeling that eveyone's staring at you and muttering 'he's only come in for a widdle.'
I got royally b*llocked by the barmaid/owner of The Three Sugar Loaves (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/695/) for ducking in to use their loo. In my defence I had tried the public convenience that the council had kindly locked up for repairs :moremad:. Most embarrassing, especially as I can see her perspective.
Another real annoyance (I find, anyway): is when the Sally Army comes in (into an establishment they claim to consider the portal to Hell) and starts rattling tins under your nose, then get stroppy when I point out that their God is the same one whose corporeal manifestation was clearly working on commission from the local vinyards (the Wedding at Cana and the Eucharist being two examples of alcohol promotion).
I'm quite happy to give over my small change to worthy charities, but I prefer to do it on my terms.
arwkrite
11-02-2010, 12:10
"especially as I can see her perspective" Conrad
Now is this a private arrangement between you two ? Or if I am ever passing would I also be eligable ?
I got royally b*llocked by the barmaid/owner of The Three Sugar Loaves (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/695/) for ducking in to use their loo. In my defence I had tried the public convenience that the council had kindly locked up for repairs :moremad:. Most embarrassing, especially as I can see her perspective.
Round here our local council pays the pubs in rural villages for folk to use the pub loo when none exists in village, which is frequently the case, Rising Sun at Clanfield is an example
Tough luck if pub shut though, behind the bushes into the duck pond?
Maldenman
11-02-2010, 16:05
The smoking ban has thankfully eradicated this one, but it concerned those drinkers who once seated, decided that they didn't want ice/lemon etc in their drinks so they'd fish them out and dump the cubes or fruit in the ash tray. The resultant fag ash soup stank like hell and looked revolting.
arwkrite
11-02-2010, 19:36
You mean you were not supposed to drink it?.........Exit stage Left accompanied by loud retching noises.
Round here our local council pays the pubs in rural villages for folk to use the pub loo when none exists in village, which is frequently the case, Rising Sun at Clanfield is an example
Tough luck if pub shut though, behind the bushes into the duck pond?
We were offered that - £450 a year to let anyone in. It gets busy enough at times with just the customers!
Daft thing is, if people ask, we never say no. It's the ones that just presume that for some reason irritate the proverbial
arwkrite
12-02-2010, 03:54
If we used pub toilets we always purchased something ie. coffee,soft drink or a beer.
The mrs preffered using pub toilets because they were cleaner than public toilets so less risk of infection.
Plus the pub would get its photo taken and a review on a pubsite.
Just like to say thank you to those licensees whose premises we used over the years and did not know the little drama being played out in our mad dash to the Ladies.
Soup Dragon
12-02-2010, 23:25
real pet hate, if it hasnt been mentioned; getting real ales in a C*rling, Worth*ngton, or J*hn Smiths glass:moremad:
Or, in the absence of any real ales, being obliged to get J*hn Smiths Sm**th in any kind of glass at all...
Soup Dragon
12-02-2010, 23:32
Or, in the absence of any real ales, being obliged to get J*hn Smiths Sm**th in any kind of glass at all...
:D
Being a MILD drinker - when being informed they haven't got it, they offer you J*hn Smiths as some sort of alternative - Why?, what has that pee got in common with MILD? it's like asking for directions to a Bathams pub and being pointed to a Spoons:twigs::twigs::twigs:
Darlo Boy
12-02-2010, 23:40
One pet hate is going in for a meal and finding that one leg of the table only touches the floor when I try to cut my food. Waste of a good beermat.
:D
J*hn Smiths - What has that pee got in common with MILD?
Or bitter? Or beer, come to that?
arwkrite
13-02-2010, 04:56
Or taking your first mouthfull out of a freshly poured pint and then realising the lipstick on the rim of the glass aint your shade.
real pet hate, if it hasnt been mentioned; getting real ales in a C*rling, Worth*ngton, or J*hn Smiths glass:moremad:
Hmmm, can't say I worry about what the glass says, the contents are the best bit and who cares if some think I'm drinking JS or not?
But then I was used to all glasses having NAAFI on them
PS, I do worry if lippy does not match though
runningdog
13-02-2010, 20:39
But then I was used to all glasses having NAAFI on them
Cor, I'd forgotten all about them, wouldn't mind one for my little collection of beer glasses:drinkup:..........
One of my personal pet hates is going to pub for quiet pint before the football game, only to find hundreds of drunken visiting supporters take over your pub.
It happened yesterday at Silk Kite meaning I walked out Silk Kite without buying a pint. I had to settle for safe pub, White Lion which is very popular with home supporters.
Maldenman
14-02-2010, 12:17
One of my personal pet hates is going to pub for quiet pint before the football game, only to find hundreds of drunken visiting supporters take over your pub.
It happened yesterday at Silk Kite meaning I walked out Silk Kite without buying a pint. I had to settle for safe pub, White Lion which is very popular with home supporters.
Three of us "mobbed" The Swan in Crawley yesterday!
Cor, I'd forgotten all about them, wouldn't mind one for my little collection of beer glasses:drinkup:..........
I have one, dimpled pint pot with handle & NAAFI logo, found it in a charity shop. Seems I should take care of it if they no longer exist
NickDavies
28-02-2010, 16:37
#713 Mother's Day - whereupon everywhere is full of families eating roast dinners. Depending on the area either the blokes will be ostentatiously drinking mineral water while the women get pissed on pinot grigio, and at least one of the kids will be called Basti, or the blokes will be getting pissed on wifebeater while the women stand outside smoking, and at least one of the kids will be called Jordan. There will be much squealling and shouting and running around and it's by far the wisest move to give it a miss and stay home in front of the football on the telly
The year , to make matters worse, this year it's the same week as:
#218 Paddy's Day - whereupon all the people who haven't been near the pub since New Year's Eve turn show up pretending they actually like draught Guinness, the more so if green food colouring is involved. They'll all be pissed and obnoxious and puking by about 9:30 and it's by far the wisest move to give it a miss and stay home in front of the football on the telly.
aleandhearty
28-02-2010, 17:06
#713 Mother's Day...to make matters worse, this year it's the same week as:#218 Paddy's Day
Ye Gods. What fresh hell is this? Hadn't yet connected the two Nick, so thanks for the heads up. Will have to be very careful in my choice of venue that week.
I think I'll buy my mother an inflatable Guinness hat and kill 2 toucans with 1 bit of Blarney.
oldboots
28-02-2010, 17:49
I think I'll buy my mother an inflatable Guinness hat and kill 2 toucans with 1 bit of Blarney.
:D:D:D put me down for two of them, one for mother, one for mother in law.
arwkrite
01-03-2010, 00:12
I always invited the mother in law to our place and fed her the dish of the moment and her favourite drink.This started off with Croft Old Particular sherry and finished with Bells Scotch.
I found this the less embarassing option when MiL got ratted and began exclaiming in a loud voice what a s88t I was and totally undeserving of her daughters affections .
She died 3 years ago and I really miss the old ratbag.
I always invited the mother in law to our place and fed her the dish of the moment and her favourite drink.This started off with Croft Old Particular sherry and finished with Bells Scotch.
I found this the less embarassing option when MiL got ratted and began exclaiming in a loud voice what a s88t I was and totally undeserving of her daughters affections .
She died 3 years ago and I really miss the old ratbag.
:D:D I've just had a Reggie Perrin / Hippopotomus moment.
#541
Not strictly to do with pubs, but it has happened to me in pubs - cold callers. Just took a cold call trying to sort out my loans and credit cards I had been falsely sold. Strangely she couldn't tell me which falsely selling loans or credit cards had given her my number, interestingly that was privileged information, I suspect she is a little confused about the personal aspects of the Data Protection Act.
She must have worked out that her chances of a sale were fairly minimal given she eventually gave up and hung up on me :). I hate cold callers!
Maldenman
02-03-2010, 20:58
I use the telephone preference service for my landline, gets rid of most cold calls, I used to get loads, but tended to wind the callers up as much as possible. As for my mobile its from work so all calls get answered during work hours but outside work only if a recognised named number shows.
TPS is a fantastic help, and in general my mobile doesn't seem to attract too much rubbish. When it does though I have to admit to trying to wind them up as much as possible.
I used to get calls every 6 months offering to upgrade my phone and claiming to be from my provider (in that they would name it), finally worked out the best way to get rid of them was to claim I was using a different provider :) Stopped getting those ones now.
NickDavies
03-03-2010, 11:40
Unfortunately TPS can't help if it's a company you use, like Sky, who are dreadful. You're forever getting some bunch of shysters or another trying to flog you service contricks, sorry contracts, on your box and dish. "They can be unreliable you know" - you wonder how that goes down with the Sale of Goods act. And every so often some imbecile rings asking what services we've got with a view to selling their ISP or phone line. I ask them why they're asking as they surely know but they always make out they don't, different division or something, at which point I refuse to talk further.
I rarely get cold calls [TPS registered & ex - directory], but have had sort of fax noises when I guess some plonker has mis dialled a fax number
Mobile phone, never get them, as I am PAYG, and it is mostly off except when I am out I assume anyone trying just gives up, as "Farway no mates" I have disabled voicemail as well
Bah Humbug
We've developed a simple system for cold callers. If they can name the owner's surname (ours) then I'll talk further.
Many fall at the first hurdle it must be said. Especially John Smith, from India, enquiring if we are happy with our phone line (if we weren't he wouldn't be talking to us, would he?)
We've developed a simple system for cold callers. If they can name the owner's surname (ours) then I'll talk further.
Great tip, I sadly forget it too often, but it is always great value when I do remember it
If it's on my landline I invite them to give me a full and detailed desription of their product/service then go and make a cup of tea while they prattle away. After all, it's their phone bill, and I didn't promise to listen.
Maldenman
04-03-2010, 07:09
I listened patiently one time as a double glazing firm tried to sell me a conservatory. Feigning interest I let him spout on for quite a while before I asked whether living on the 22nd floor might be a problem or not.
gillhalfpint
04-03-2010, 09:39
Round here our local council pays the pubs in rural villages for folk to use the pub loo when none exists in village, which is frequently the case, Rising Sun at Clanfield is an example
Tough luck if pub shut though, behind the bushes into the duck pond?
Another one for Wyre Piddle brewery. "Piddle in the hedge"
gillhalfpint
04-03-2010, 10:05
I have just spent a very entertaining morning reading this thread. It is so good, and I must admit I agree with most of the annoyances. My main gripe is not being able to see pumpclips on the bar, and getting looks of annoyance for interupting those sitting at the bar when I politely ask them to move aside so I can see them.
Loud music that spoils conversation.
Kids running about or scrapping on the floor.
Sticky tables that need a good clean.
Loos with no seats, paper, doors, lights etc that have been inspected within the last hour.
Smokers gathering at the door so you have to take a deep breath of fresh air before trying to get through the door.
Bar staff who tell me that a bad beer tasting of vinegar is the way it was brewed, then change it for a bloke who complains about it.
ROBCamra
04-03-2010, 12:42
I listened patiently one time as a double glazing firm tried to sell me a conservatory. Feigning interest I let him spout on for quite a while before I asked whether living on the 22nd floor might be a problem or not.
Many years ago I had a guy phone me up who started the conversation with " Wouldn't it be fantastic to look out of your window and see a brand new Mercedes?"
I pointed out that it would be f**kin' amazing as I was currently on the 19th Floor.
Whilst living in the same flat I also won second prize in an Xmas raffle. A set of patio furniture, chocolate teapot anyone?:)
Strongers
04-03-2010, 12:54
Not a member of the Birmingham speed boat owners club are you?;)
When my phone rings and there is that four second delay I usually hang up - If I don't I normally get called by my wife's maiden name and then I hang up. Maybe I should string it out, but I usually can't understand a word that John Bloggs is talking about on the other end of the line.
Loud music that spoils conversation.
Kids running about or scrapping on the floor.
Sticky tables that need a good clean.
Loos with no seats, paper, doors, lights etc that have been inspected within the last hour.
Smokers gathering at the door so you have to take a deep breath of fresh air before trying to get through the door.
Bar staff who tell me that a bad beer tasting of vinegar is the way it was brewed, then change it for a bloke who complains about it.
I can name one pub in Tamworth meets all these above but then I can't cos I got mouthed by pub landlady..
You can check it out in Tamworth pub listings..;)
Maldenman
04-03-2010, 18:13
Not a member of the Birmingham speed boat owners club are you?;)
When my phone rings and there is that four second delay I usually hang up - If I don't I normally get called by my wife's maiden name and then I hang up. Maybe I should string it out, but I usually can't understand a word that John Bloggs is talking about on the other end of the line.
Its the maiden name thing that gives it away, we have different surnames so straightaway I know when someone calls me Mr M.
I once corrected a caller, telling him my surname was Wichalbion. He finally asked me for my first name which was of course Westbrom. He hung up.
trainman
04-03-2010, 18:28
I once corrected a caller, telling him my surname was Wichalbion. He finally asked me for my first name which was of course Westbrom. He hung up.
Hahaha!!! Nice one!
arwkrite
05-03-2010, 05:28
Just recently about 4 of my neighbors have changed to BT broadband. As a result my Laptops and Tower System keep trying to connect to BTfon ,the unsecured hotspot ,but its a lot slower on speed than my own network from a different provider. My stepson is starting to have the same problem in another part of town despite paying for a commercial rate connection.
I dont mind hot spotting for a short period if out and about with the Netbook but not at home where I have a very good ,and legal, connection.
Wireless is handy, but it is taking over, I miss good old cables.
ROBCamra
05-03-2010, 09:46
Wireless is handy, but it is taking over, I miss good old cables.
You Luddite. :p
NickDavies
09-05-2010, 16:49
#519 Weddings
What happens is that the father of the bride decides that the pleasant country pub they've take gran to for Sunday lunch for the last 25 years would be just the ticket. What isn't bargained for is that most of the happy couple's brothers, sisters and cousins and friends have little experience of licensed premises beyond the It's a Litten Walkabout Tiger Lloyds Scream No1 that they get wrecked in every weekend. So you stop by for an aperitif around 6PM on a Saturday evening to find the place full of obnoxiously pissed twenty year olds in the bar, some more comatose in the garden and several engaged in a noisy relationship breakdown in the car park. The grown-ups meanwhile are holed up in the restaurant wondering if it isn't too early to leave without appearing rude.
You decide that the pub in the next village may be more worthy of investigation this time.
aleandhearty
09-05-2010, 17:47
#519 Weddings
What happens is that the father of the bride decides that the pleasant country pub they've take gran to for Sunday lunch for the last 25 years would be just the ticket. What isn't bargained for is that most of the happy couple's brothers, sisters and cousins and friends have little experience of licensed premises beyond the It's a Litten Walkabout Tiger Lloyds Scream No1 that they get wrecked in every weekend. So you stop by for an aperitif around 6PM on a Saturday evening to find the place full of obnoxiously pissed twenty year olds in the bar, some more comatose in the garden and several engaged in a noisy relationship breakdown in the car park. The grown-ups meanwhile are holed up in the restaurant wondering if it isn't too early to leave without appearing rude.
You decide that the pub in the next village may be more worthy of investigation this time.
:D This all sounds remarkably fresh. Yesterday afternoon possibly?
#5 Chewing Gum
Someone cant be bothered to find a bin to put their gum in or wrap it up for later disposal so kindly leaves it somewhere for someone else to find (just as a for instance under the bar :moremad:). Persons finding it later will of course be glad for the sticky warm surprise on their fingertips, or possibly annoyed.
#5 Chewing Gum
Someone cant be bothered to find a bin to put their gum in or wrap it up for later disposal so kindly leaves it somewhere for someone else to find (just as a for instance under the bar :moremad:). Persons finding it later will of course be glad for the sticky warm surprise on their fingertips, or possibly annoyed.
Did it happened to you today, Conrad?
The only mar on a very nice lunch.
aleandhearty
10-06-2010, 17:26
#5 Chewing Gum
Someone cant be bothered to find a bin to put their gum in or wrap it up for later disposal so kindly leaves it somewhere for someone else to find (just as a for instance under the bar :moremad:). Persons finding it later will of course be glad for the sticky warm surprise on their fingertips, or possibly annoyed.
Reminds me of this gem from the wonderful Emo Phillips:
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky...but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
Evil Gazebo
27-06-2010, 10:55
#5 Chewing Gum
Someone cant be bothered to find a bin to put their gum in or wrap it up for later disposal so kindly leaves it somewhere for someone else to find (just as a for instance under the bar :moremad:). Persons finding it later will of course be glad for the sticky warm surprise on their fingertips, or possibly annoyed.
I find that my lifelong opposition to capital punishment is impossible to maintain when considering people who leave chewing-gum under tables etc.
arwkrite
27-06-2010, 15:45
I tend to keep way from high bar stools and tables. My short legs do not raise my bum high enough for a casual hitch onto the seat. Its more like an in-elegant scramble to gain altitude. Once in position I find my thighs jammed beneath the table with the worry of blood supply being stopped. In the ungainly descent I find gum attached to my trouser legs.No I am neither keen on nor adapted for high altitude drinking.
NickDavies
28-06-2010, 09:58
I tend to keep way from high bar stools and tables. My short legs do not raise my bum high enough for a casual hitch onto the seat. Its more like an in-elegant scramble to gain altitude. Once in position I find my thighs jammed beneath the table with the worry of blood supply being stopped. In the ungainly descent I find gum attached to my trouser legs.No I am neither keen on nor adapted for high altitude drinking.
Bar stools. Fine if they are few and the counter is long, or if there's just one which an old bloke usually called Albert has occupied for the last 55 years and no-one dares sit on it let alone take it away. Too often though you are confronted with an unseemly row of builder's bums, the owners of which get preferential service while flirting with the lone barmaid, while everyone else is forced to queue up at the 18 inch gap left.
I tend to keep way from high bar stools and tables. My short legs do not raise my bum high enough for a casual hitch onto the seat. Its more like an in-elegant scramble to gain altitude. Once in position I find my thighs jammed beneath the table with the worry of blood supply being stopped. In the ungainly descent I find gum attached to my trouser legs.No I am neither keen on nor adapted for high altitude drinking.
I'm with arwkrite here — I'm just under 5 foot 3, and consider bar stools to be a particularly cruel form of punishment.
(PS Hello! RogerB kindly let me know that everyone had moved here. Good to see so many familiar names.)
gillhalfpint
29-06-2010, 08:52
Don't know whether to feel deprived or lucky on the chewing gum as I have never found any yet on stools or tables - only stood on it on floors.
Agree with bar stools though as being difficult to get on and a nuisance when you can't see the pump clips for the row of people chatting to barstaff from them. The Wellington in Birmingham now has arrows on the bar giving a large arear where no bar stools are allowed. Hope more take it up.
Gill
arwkrite
29-06-2010, 09:34
Bar stools do not just congregate around the bar. More pubs are putting in high tables with high stools. It appears to be a natural progression from free standing plinths which drinkers were supposed to gather around. I only ever found them to be collection points for empty glasses. When I visit JDWs I find the seat and cubicles taken and the high stools and tables left for the late comers.They may be popular in clubs where wanna be celebs can pose in public as on a stage but but not all of us have the legs for it. Which reminds me I must get some waxing strips.
Bar stools do not just congregate around the bar. More pubs are putting in high tables with high stools.
Yes :( I do wonder if perhaps it's an attempt to discourage older drinkers in favour of younger people.
NickDavies
30-06-2010, 08:38
Yes :( I do wonder if perhaps it's an attempt to discourage older drinkers in favour of younger people.
It's the whole sorry business of pub furniture these days. They can't just have normal tables and chairs. As well as high stools you can't climb on to in a dignified manner there's those wretched sofas which you can't climb out of. At least you can see the telly from a high stool. From a sofa on a busy day you get a wholly unappetising view of a large number of sweaty crotches.
trainman
30-06-2010, 09:35
there's those wretched sofas which you can't climb out of.
The Postal Order at Crystal Palace has now removed two of these wastes of space, along with the ludicrous low tables they used to guard, and put back regular tables & chairs like the rest of the central seating area. So, four tables to seat four each, or a crazy uncomfortable arrangement likely to attract a solo sprawler? No contest. The pub needs some more attention (& more handpumps), but this was a small step in the right direction.
Forget high stools, I was in a pub in Brixton recently that had bean bags - what's that all about?
arwkrite
30-06-2010, 09:47
Lawd ..What next ?...Birthing Pools ? Sensory Deprivation Chambers ? May be there is a niche market ?
Bucking Fastard
30-06-2010, 10:12
Piped commercial radio.:mad:This annoyance often occurs at lunchtime when pubs can be quiet,and in order to inject some form of life to the premises the local FM station is played over the speakers.This is acceptable when music is being played at background levels but is hideous when ever the station broadcasts adverts featuring such products or services like blackhead remover,no win-no fee lawyers or the local garden furniture centre.:mad::mad:Even worse was a recent incident when a radio phone in with Jeremy Vine:moremad: was blared around an otherwise pleasent pub,why ? Maybe I should just sign up for the grumpy bigrade.
ROBCamra
30-06-2010, 10:40
Maybe I should just sign up for the grumpy bigrade.
Welcome aboard, the bus is getting quite full. :D
On the whole, we opt for no music. When quiet though (under 6 customers) I'll normally ask for radio 3 or classic fm to be put on. Apart from being inoffensive compared to radio 1 and recently radio 2, apparently it increases the amount of money people spend, according to the far too regular surveys reports and whatnot.
As long as it's inoffensive, and gets switched off when there's a bit of banter in the air, I couldn't care less. It's one of the things JDW has got right - your more likely to offend people with music so just don't have it.
runningdog
02-07-2010, 07:50
Forget high stools, I was in a pub in Brixton recently that had bean bags - what's that all about?
Just when you were sure it couldn't get any worse!
By the by, a cautionary tale about sofas and tables in, or in this case, out of, pubs. A pub local to me, which shall remain nameless, had two really expensive leather ones, plus a nice low table. Sunday afternoon a party of about twenty arrives in half a dozen assorted vans. Two credit cards are produced from an extensive selection and left behind the bar.
Meals are ordered, despite about a two hour wait till the kitchen reopened.
An hour or so later the place is getting packed and the van-party ask if they can take the sofas outside and sit in the sun.
With the bar and food tab already running at close to three hundred quid the landlord smiles happily and sez 'course you can, lads. Later,with the kitchen about to deliver, our hero goes outside.
I 'spect you can guess the rest. We all thought it was funny, even the cops..........:drinkup::drinkup::drinkup:
Sorry about the drifting thread, I'll bring it back on course:cheers: I'm in the no-music camp meself, but I love the high chairs and tables. But then, I'm in me second or third childhood:whistle::notworthy::cheers::notworthy:
Ps The credit cards were stolen and no one has seen hair or hide of the furniture since..........
That is a scary scary story, classic piece of work though.
High stools, I don't mind them if coupled with high tables, definitely better than sofas in a pub.
Oggwyn Trench
03-07-2010, 07:45
The Grapes in Oxford has bench seats opposite the bar has high as bar stools , i struggle and im well over 6 foot
Alesonly
03-07-2010, 09:28
Why do they in some Pub Gardens have those Tables that have a bench attached each side If you Sit on one end and your on the heavy side like me it tilts up and your Beer ends up in your lap which I have done on several occasions. It don't look good getting on the Bus with a Big Beer stain down the front of ones Trousers. :D
Why do they in some Pub Gardens have those Tables that have a bench attached each side If you Sit on one end and your on the heavy side like me it tilts up and your Beer ends up in your lap which I have done on several occasions. It don't look good getting on the Bus with a Big Beer stain down the front of ones Trousers. :D
These things are just lethal. For some reason a couple of times I have had people knock their drinks at me on them whilst making wild hand gestures in conversations as well.
How about 'pubs' who put tea lights on the table? Those of us who sometimes like to read a newspaper whilst having a quick pint can get a bit more excitement than expected in the event of a momentary lapse of attention...
Brings back memories of the restaurant me and Dave went in post match once and the waiter kindly lit the tea lights at the table. Presumably to create the right atmosphere.
Actually thinking about it there was also the bottle I exploded with a lighter once in a pub whilst out with Dave, still if they will shove them on tables in a drinking pub :whistle:.
I can't think why I drink less these days :o.
NickDavies
05-07-2010, 12:21
How about 'pubs' who put tea lights on the table? Those of us who sometimes like to read a newspaper whilst having a quick pint can get a bit more excitement than expected in the event of a momentary lapse of attention...
I wonder if this is a barmy head office policy in some chains. We were somewhere M&B related I think it was on a recent baking summer's afternoon, sunlight streaming in and all the windows open when at the dot of 6pm someone came round and lit all the candles, despite the two hours of usable daylight left.
Oggwyn Trench
05-07-2010, 17:41
When your sitting having a quite afternoon pint in an empty pub and the barmaid/waitress asks you to move your glasses so she can lay the table ready for the evenings dining service , it happened on Saturday , i wont be going back
Rex_Rattus
07-07-2010, 14:27
I just can't let an opportunity pass to add my voice to those who detest those chunky solid high tables and chairs. Goodness knows why anyone furnishing a pub thinks that they are a more comfortable option than your everyday tables and chairs. But that's just my opinion - I see that some people like them.
I experienced a cracker of an annoyance the other day, in the "customer isn't always right" category. I'm in a pub accompanied by three ladies (which is in the strange but true category) - yours truly orders a pint; the ladies all order coffee. Coffee arrives, without milk. Mrs R asks for some milk - they don't have any milk. No apology, just the statement "well, where I come from we drink coffee without milk". Unbelievable - and irrelevant as the pub is not "where you come from", but in Hammersmith, where drinking coffee with milk is not unknown! I suppose they made the coffee, realised they didn't have any milk, and instead of coming clean thought they would try and get away with it. I have heard the "nobody would complain about that back home" argument before, and it really gets up my nose. Yes, I'm sure there are places where a 2 inch head is acceptable, but not if you're in London!
gillhalfpint
07-07-2010, 15:47
Had to chose one of those high tables and chairs for our Wetherspoons meal today, no other table free.
It was OK till food arrived and I wanted to be nearer the table as I was getting backache reaching across to my plate. It is impossible to shuffle a high chair towards the table. I got off and pulled it close to the table, then couldn't get on the thing as my leg wouldn't go between the table leg and chair leg. Had to grab the table and lean the chair backwards so I could get my leg in.
aleandhearty
07-07-2010, 18:15
Had to grab the table and lean the chair backwards so I could get my leg in.
Timber!
Today was the first time I came across the high chair & tables [Red Lion, Horndean], my normal haunts are not so designer led :D
Although place was fairly full [lunchtime grey pound, 2 meals for a tenner], it was very obvious that these tables were shunned & empty
I used a bar stool, but I am not a short@rse so had no problems there :whistle:
runningdog
09-07-2010, 10:56
[QUOTE=gillhalfpint;It is impossible to shuffle a high chair towards the table. I got off and pulled it close to the table, then couldn't get on the thing as my leg wouldn't go between the table leg and chair leg. Had to grab the table and lean the chair backwards so I could get my leg in.[/QUOTE]
Even as a lover of high chairs (and I've heard all the jokes, if you know a new one I'll stand a round should we ever meet), I agree with what you say:drinkup::drinkup:.
But I love watching folk try..........
NickDavies
17-07-2010, 14:17
#272 People Who Sit Their Kid On The Bar Counter
God that is annoying, especially if it's busy and you have to negotiate drinks over and around it. The more so if its demenour and odour suggest that, how shall I put this delicately, it needs changing.
arwkrite
18-07-2010, 09:07
Not certain whether this belongs here or in the "Strangest Thing in a Pub Thread.
Someone stood at the bar loudly voicing his opinions on Raoul Moult and the manner of his demise. I felt very uncomfortable, first time thats happened for ages. How tempers were kept amazed me but he walked out in one peice.
NickDavies
23-10-2010, 11:10
#898 Loose snacks
This is a worrying trend. You ask for some nuts, expecting a packet of KP or Nobby's, and only wince a little bit at having to fork out 90p for it. But instead you get pointed to a row of jars at the back of the bar and are expected to stump up £1.80 for a little bowl of nuts they got cheap in bulk from the cash and carry. Or three quid for a few olives.
Strongers
23-10-2010, 16:05
Has anyone on here ever forked out the three or so quid for a small cup of wasabi peas - I know I haven't!
And not three quid for a few olives either!
I begrudge paying 3 quid for a pint, let alone some Mediterranean comestibles.
Rex_Rattus
23-10-2010, 17:32
Has anyone on here ever forked out the three or so quid for a small cup of wasabi peas - I know I haven't!
Scotland will win the World Cup before I cough up three quid for wasabi peas. And what are wasabi peas? sound a bit Japanese to me.
NickDavies
23-10-2010, 18:45
And not three quid for a few olives either!
Indeed. But people clearly do. And it's usually gastro type places which think themselves above common stuff like bags of Big D nuts.* The tragedy is that most upmarket bars on the continent (and everywhere in Spain) give you such stuff for free.
*To digress, any barman worthy of the title will ensure that the BigD card is used up such that the last three packets are strategically placed upon the underlying example of the photographer's art.
Indeed. But people clearly do. And it's usually gastro type places which think themselves above common stuff like bags of Big D nuts.* The tragedy is that most upmarket bars on the continent (and everywhere in Spain) give you such stuff for free.
*To digress, any barman worthy of the title will ensure that the BigD card is used up such that the last three packets are strategically placed upon the underlying example of the photographer's art.
Ah - not the first three to go then?
NickDavies
23-10-2010, 22:19
Ah - not the first three to go then?
Always leave the best till last.
Not being able to get real ale and watch the football in the same pub. :mad:
Crossste
06-11-2010, 21:16
...... so you are sat there with your wife in a nice cozy warm pub and then the band turn up and wedge the door open with a set of cymbals in a canvas bag while they get the rest of their gear out of a 1989 transit van.
...... so you are sat there with your wife in a nice cozy warm pub and then the band turn up and wedge the door open with a set of cymbals in a canvas bag while they get the rest of their gear out of a 1989 transit van.
Surely worth it for the music they played though :whistle:
Not being able to find real ale and sport on in the same venue can sometimes be a problem. The two seem to be interests that anti-correlate!
Not being able to find real ale and sport on in the same venue can sometimes be a problem. The two seem to be interests that anti-correlate!
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/41714/
In Salisbury does it brilliantly.
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/41714/
In Salisbury does it brilliantly.
Sounds good if I had it as my local! :)
Generally in Leeds I find I have to sate my appetite for ale and then go somewhere with lager to watch games. There are one or two places with both ale and sport, but they are a bit too far out of town.
A very decent and honorable exception is now the Shooters Bar, used to be the Sports Cafe, I tend to find on a Saturday my custom is concentrated there!
Sounds good if I had it as my local! :)
Generally in Leeds I find I have to sate my appetite for ale and then go somewhere with lager to watch games. There are one or two places with both ale and sport, but they are a bit too far out of town.
A very decent and honorable exception is now the Shooters Bar, used to be the Sports Cafe, I tend to find on a Saturday my custom is concentrated there!
Sorry Spinko, I wasn't trying to be smug - I was also going to put a link to Bennets Bar in Edinburgh by way of a second example. I've never actually been to Leeds, so I can't help out on that one. Maybe others can fidn examples in other areas?
arwkrite
09-11-2010, 04:16
I do not understand why beer drinking and sport must be separated.My local has sport showing but does not attract the rowdy crowd that gather at the pub advertised as a sports bar , which does not serve real ale. Watching sport is definitely enhanced by the addition of good beer and ones friends, none of who get the urge to smash windows when their team loses . The city sports bars I know of I would not visit on match days. The crowd of mainly drunken youngsters is not my scene and I would stick out like a sore thumb.
gillhalfpint
09-11-2010, 11:08
I am quite happy with televised sport when the sound has been turned off.
Went into one pub and opened the door to find a load of gents seated en masse in semi circle rows facing me shouting and waving and shaking fists. OK the screen was on the wall beside the door, but it was a weird feeling. I looked at the bar, and found the way the chairs were placed meant there was no way I would ever reach it so I left. Couldn't see the beer range.
Evil Gazebo
09-11-2010, 11:16
I am quite happy with televised sport when the sound has been turned off.
Went into one pub and opened the door to find a load of gents seated en masse in semi circle rows facing me shouting and waving and shaking fists. OK the screen was on the wall beside the door, but it was a weird feeling. I looked at the bar, and found the way the chairs were placed meant there was no way I would ever reach it so I left. Couldn't see the beer range.
This happens to me even in pubs without TVs.
Al 10000
09-11-2010, 13:28
In Nottingham city centre the Approach is good for football or rugby and very good beer.
Fellows,Morton and Clayton close to Nottingham train station has lots of screens and a good choice of beer.
Southbank Bar in West Bridgeford close to Nottingham Forests city ground has lots of different screens and shows most football matches.
All of these pub have a good choice of local real ales but are definatley sports type pubs.:cheers: Alan.
Paris_Hilton
10-11-2010, 15:31
#421 Stereotypical Company Policy
I ventured into a newly opened CafeBar in Taunton the other day, expecting to see the usual Eurofizz and 30 types of coffee, and was surprised to see a couple of Cask Ales on offer. I ordered a pint of Toga Man and looked around at the new-made-too-look-old Decor (#264) whilst it was being poured.
"£3 please, Sir", said the barman, and as I turned round discovered that it had been served in one of those dimpled pint pots with a large handles that my Dad used to drink out of in Country Inns during the 1970's .
"oh, can I have a straight glass?". I enquired.
"That's how we serve our ale", came the reply.
"Yes, but I would prefer a straight glass", I repeated.
"Sigh". Begrudgingly, the barman relented and poured my beer into a straight glass, even topping it up to replace the drop that he had spilt.
Do these people think that because I drink real beer I obviously require a pint pot? I'm surprised they don't stereotype people further by asking them to wear a beige checked jacket with leather patches on the elbows just to show all those coffee and fizz drinkers what I am drinking.
To be fair, my second pint did come in a straight glass and the quality was surprisingly good.
oldboots
10-11-2010, 15:55
#421 Stereotypical Company Policy
Do these people think that because I drink real beer I obviously require a pint pot? I'm surprised they don't stereotype people further by asking them to wear a beige checked jacket with leather patches on the elbows just to show all those coffee and fizz drinkers what I am drinking.
Do you have the beard, sandals and beer belly already ? :D
Don't you hate it when you are comfortably settled in for a quiet pint and suddenly 15 beer tourists and pub fanatics from all over the country come piling in at the same time! :whistle::whistle:
Oggwyn Trench
10-11-2010, 17:23
Don't you hate it when you are comfortably settled in for a quiet pint and suddenly 15 beer tourists and pub fanatics from all over the country come piling in at the same time! :whistle::whistle:
Dont know what you mean:D:drinkup::D
General Staal
10-11-2010, 19:14
Do you find that when you escape the wife for a quiet Saturday afternoon pint and you fine a nice corner of the pub where there is no-one around, a couple of sweary blokey types come and sit right by you, or a drunken old man sits by you or some young types on mobiles will sit by you?
Or do I just attract weirdos?
Last night I took my partner out for a meal at a recently re-opened pub/restaurant. It advertises itself as a steakhouse, so think pizza hut including salad bar and your not far off. Just finished our mains, thinking about a dessert or desert, at this time of night I can't recall, when a football team came in, loudly ordering their drinks and having a banter. Needless to say the next thing I asked for was the bill. In a pub that's clearly a pub I'd expect that, but we'd purposely chosen this one for a quiet meal on a Tuesday night.
aleandhearty
11-11-2010, 12:58
Don't you hate it when you are comfortably settled in for a quiet pint and suddenly 15 beer tourists and pub fanatics from all over the country come piling in at the same time! :whistle::whistle:
....With their heads swivelling like meercats, before scribbling in their little notebooks. Either that, or they're wandering around the room absent mindedly, like Tim Robbins in the Shawshank prison yard. :)
....With their heads swivelling like meercats, before scribbling in their little notebooks. Either that, or they're wandering around the room absent mindedly, like Tim Robbins in the Shawshank prison yard. :)
...sneaking in blurry photos from impossible angles!
....With their heads swivelling like meercats,
And they don't bother to introduce themselves, so someone has to compere the meercats.
And they don't bother to introduce themselves, so someone has to compere the meercats.:D:lol:
Brewguru
25-11-2010, 20:09
You drive a car of friends to a pub, looking forward to a pint or maybe a pint and a half for the evening. All they have on the bar is beer over 4.5%, probably too strong to even have a pint and be under the limit. :moremad:
Pub annoyance - slipping on your way in (see attachment from earlier today :))
Pub annoyance - slipping on your way in (see attachment from earlier today :))
What is all that white stuff? :confused:
We never get that in Bristol ;)
oldboots
01-12-2010, 18:14
Pub annoyance - slipping on your way in (see attachment from earlier today :))
Who cares when it's that pub you're going to, just have a few medicinal pints, pure Holbeck heaven.
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/42740/
Andy Ven
01-12-2010, 19:26
Do you find that when you escape the wife for a quiet Saturday afternoon pint and you fine a nice corner of the pub where there is no-one around, a couple of sweary blokey types come and sit right by you, or a drunken old man sits by you or some young types on mobiles will sit by you?
Or do I just attract weirdos?
You're good mates with Soup, aren't you? :whistle:
Maldenman
01-12-2010, 19:26
You drive a car of friends to a pub, looking forward to a pint or maybe a pint and a half for the evening. All they have on the bar is beer over 4.5%, probably too strong to even have a pint and be under the limit. :moremad:
Not that I would generally be a volunteer driver (some woman's job usually) ahem.. but I'd generally feel ok with one pint perhaps with a lunch if driving, and 4.5% would not phase me, whereas say 5% would. Would a single pint of 4.5% beer put an average sized bloke over the limit? Seriously if so, I need to know!
oldboots
02-12-2010, 07:01
Not that I would generally be a volunteer driver (some woman's job usually) ahem.. but I'd generally feel ok with one pint perhaps with a lunch if driving, and 4.5% would not phase me, whereas say 5% would. Would a single pint of 4.5% beer put an average sized bloke over the limit? Seriously if so, I need to know!
It's widely believed that the limit is equal to about 4 units for an average man, a pint at 4% is 2.3 units, 4.5% is 2.6 units and 5% is 2.9 units, so in theory you could have a pint of 7% (4 units) and be at the limit:eek:.
Paris_Hilton
02-12-2010, 08:22
Pub annoyance - slipping on your way in (see attachment from earlier today :))
Makes a change form falling over on your way out (Pub annoyance #152)
What is all that white stuff? :confused:
We never get that in Bristol ;)
Conrad, thought I would help out with your query, just uploaded Spotted Cow deep in snow for a bit of a seasonal view, not open at that time of morning or maybe a warming pint would have been nice, if dodgy for the walk home on icy pavements
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/14107/
Brewguru
02-12-2010, 13:20
It's widely believed that the limit is equal to about 4 units for an average man, a pint at 4% is 2.3 units, 4.5% is 2.6 units and 5% is 2.9 units, so in theory you could have a pint of 7% (4 units) and be at the limit:eek:.
I''m not huge, under 6 foot and under 11 stone so I guess what I feel safe with is maybe a bit less than most. Especially at this time of year when they ramp up the drink drive message and have random tests more often. I'd certainly feel a bit tipsy with more than a pint and a half of anything over 4.5% and if it affects the brain it'll affect my driving.
It's the nursing of a pint for an hour or so, that's the tough bit.
General Staal
02-12-2010, 14:53
You're good mates with Soup, aren't you? :whistle:
Well, to say we're good mates is stretching it. I tolerate him. One has to look after the old codger, he finds it so difficult to care for himself. 'Care in the Community' has a lot to answer for. I think I've earned my place in Heaven!
Oggwyn Trench
02-12-2010, 18:52
I''m not huge, under 6 foot and under 11 stone so I guess what I feel safe with is maybe a bit less than most. Especially at this time of year when they ramp up the drink drive message and have random tests more often. I'd certainly feel a bit tipsy with more than a pint and a half of anything over 4.5% and if it affects the brain it'll affect my driving.
It's the nursing of a pint for an hour or so, that's the tough bit.
This time of year our local old bill have the habit of choosing a local industrial estate and stop and breathalise every driver heading for the early shifts (usually between 5 and 7am)
Andy Ven
02-12-2010, 19:44
Well, to say we're good mates is stretching it. I tolerate him. One has to look after the old codger, he finds it so difficult to care for himself. 'Care in the Community' has a lot to answer for. I think I've earned my place in Heaven!
Ahhh. The Big Society reaches the Queslett
Andy Ven
02-12-2010, 19:58
Apart from JDWs how many pubs have hot water in the gents let alone soap. I agree with your comment about not washing hands but I remember my mrs saying the same about the female toilets.For a long time I have carried a shoulder bag. Not everyones choice but I am use to it for camera,batteries and such like. I also carry antibiotic hand wipes.Spending time around hospitals the hand cleansing routine has stayed with me.
Never eat from the free nut bowls on the bar either, makes sense when you see customers not washing their hands. I would rather pay for a sealed packet.
Why do pub toilets have 3 cubicles and 4 urinals but only two hand basins and one hand dryer?
Why do pub toilets have 3 cubicles and 4 urinals but only two hand basins and one hand dryer?
Which is often duff and out of order, resorts to wiping hands on jeans
For the obove reasons I often remark on good, spotless bogs in my reviews, which sadly is not often
Bucking Fastard
03-12-2010, 09:54
Which is often duff and out of order, resorts to wiping hands on jeans
For the obove reasons I often remark on good, spotless bogs in my reviews, which sadly is not often
That's a good point,well worth mentioning in reviews maybe we need a PuG bog standard:).
This is all very fertile ground for pub annoyances.Obviously no bog paper,no bog seat,chain not working are all unfortunate but the worst for me is no lock on the door and the door too far from the crapper so that you can't jam your foot against the door to stop unwanted ingress from other punters.I once came across all four faults in The London House Inn in Rugby in the 1980's ,I was desperate but the experience is burnt on memory.I resorted to whistling:whistle: to ward off intruders.
Conrad, thought I would help out with your query, just uploaded Spotted Cow deep in snow for a bit of a seasonal view, not open at that time of morning or maybe a warming pint would have been nice, if dodgy for the walk home on icy pavements
http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/14107/
I haven't seen snow like that in the flesh for over 20 years now. Fantastic photo.
Snowy pubs seem to be a bit of a theme looking at the recent picture uploads.
NickDavies
03-12-2010, 18:43
That's a good point,well worth mentioning in reviews maybe we need a PuG bog standard:).
This is all very fertile ground for pub annoyances.Obviously no bog paper,no bog seat,chain not working are all unfortunate but the worst for me is no lock on the door and the door too far from the crapper so that you can't jam your foot against the door to stop unwanted ingress from other punters.I once came across all four faults in The London House Inn in Rugby in the 1980's ,I was desperate but the experience is burnt on memory.I resorted to whistling:whistle: to ward off intruders.
The very worst time is when you discover there's no bog paper when it's too late. One exeperience like that is enough to ensure that for the rest of your life you double check supplies, however pissed you may be, before proceedings commence.
gillhalfpint
03-12-2010, 20:50
Glad to hear I'm not the only one caught out on that one.
I always seem to have paper serviettes in good supply in my bag these days.
Alesonly
05-12-2010, 10:16
One big annoyance last night in a Local Pub was the Barmaid kept continually sneezing into her hands & also playing with her hair. But not once did she go a wash her hands before serving customers. :moremad: I wont be eating or drinking there again for a while.
The very worst time is when you discover there's no bog paper when it's too late. One exeperience like that is enough to ensure that for the rest of your life you double check supplies, however pissed you may be, before proceedings commence.
That's why you should always wear socks ;)
trainman
05-12-2010, 11:47
the Barmaid kept continually sneezing into her hands... not once did she go a wash her hands before serving customers. I wont be eating or drinking there again for a while.
Quite right, that really is disgusting. A similar incident put me off Borough's Royal Oak for a long time.
NickDavies
05-12-2010, 15:44
Quite right, that really is disgusting. A similar incident put me off Borough's Royal Oak for a long time.
Dogs as well. A manager at a pub near us thought nothing of making a fuss of visiting dogs, then carrying on serving. A great pity as it was otherwise (and still is) the best pub in a fair distance. Fortunately that couple have moved on.
And then there is the other side of the coin...
http://www.camdenenterprise.com/
Maldenman
10-12-2010, 13:10
Yes, mildly amusing although the one about the head being too big.......er, I reckon the customer os perfectly right there, we only want what we are paying for!
General Staal
10-12-2010, 14:31
Dogs as well. A manager at a pub near us thought nothing of making a fuss of visiting dogs, then carrying on serving. A great pity as it was otherwise (and still is) the best pub in a fair distance. Fortunately that couple have moved on.
Dogs on the seats in pubs...Disgusting! Strangely, I don't mind a puss cat on the seats. I might even stroke it! Dogs, except guide dogs, are Satan's joke on the Human Race. They are just vile! Especially in a pub, anywhere near me. I hate dogs. Can you tell?
Dogs on the seats in pubs...Disgusting! Strangely, I don't mind a puss cat on the seats. I might even stroke it! Dogs, except guide dogs, are Satan's joke on the Human Race. They are just vile! Especially in a pub, anywhere near me. I hate dogs. Can you tell?
Are you Bonser in disguise? :whistle:
General Staal
10-12-2010, 17:04
Are you Bonser in disguise? :whistle:
No...Just an average pub goer with a hatred of dogs. I mean why dogs? They are like perpetual needy toddlers. And you have to carry plastic bags with you if you take them for a walk to clean up their mess. They squat and make mess in full view of the general public. Evil, vile, stinky things!
Rant over. I'll say no more.
They are like perpetual needy toddlers. And you have to carry plastic bags with you if you take them for a walk to clean up their mess. They squat and make mess in full view of the general public. Evil, vile, stinky things.
I think you may be confusing dogs with students.
General Staal
10-12-2010, 17:29
I think you may be confusing dogs with students.
Yes. They are very similar now you mention it...
trainman
10-12-2010, 23:52
the general public. Evil, vile, stinky things!
A more accurate perception.
Dogs are fine, & generally friendlier.
arwkrite
11-12-2010, 06:04
I have found dogs are less likely to try and scrounge fags, tobacco,money and drinks from you. Neither do they try to steal your woman or beat your head in after drinking to much.
Yesterday evening at my local I saw a poodle, two jack russels, a black labrador, one other terrier breed and a cat. They all made less noise than the loudmouths who had been drinking all afternoon, but then animals are not "civilized human beings".
not "civilized human beings".
Nor are many members of the general public. As for students, we only need to look at the pictures from London this week to see what they are like nowadays when not kept on a lead.
NickDavies
11-12-2010, 09:10
I think you may be confusing dogs with students.
At least students don't try to shag your leg.
arwkrite
11-12-2010, 10:34
I am surprised that people are shocked by the recent student riots. Throughout history students have been known to run riot for one reason or another and usually after a lot of thought on the matter. I believe many have no wish to be violent but get carried away with events. Unlike many of us here those students still believe they can change the world ( I can still remember being that daft !), they have not yet been ground into submission yet. That is why in a different era they would have been enlisted, commissioned, armed and sent to do heroic deeds in a brilliant but short life.
STUDENTS.....lawdy, no way would I want to be in the same pub as them...far to noisy and lively. They would distract me from my crossword while trying to shag my leg.......GET OFF you hairy little b*gg*r.
I have found dogs are less likely to try and scrounge fags, tobacco,money and drinks from you. .
They do try & scrounge crisps / scratchings etc though whilst shagging your leg or wiping their arse across the floor
arwkrite
11-12-2010, 10:59
They do try & scrounge crisps / scratchings etc though whilst shagging your leg or wiping their arse across the floor
While accompanied by the over loud belches and gaseous f**ts of the clientèle.
I am beginning to have second thoughts about going to the pub.When you read this thread you do think " Why Bother".
Sorry I am all out of pork scratchings. The pesky student eat them all.
General Staal
12-12-2010, 20:05
While accompanied by the over loud belches and gaseous f**ts of the clientèle.
My mother had a dog which was more than capable of pumping out noxious gaseous clouds. It would bound down the hall at you as soon as you entered and try to jump up at you, yapping. It used to annoy the hell out of me.
I remember once, eating chicken and chips in a pub in Mortehoe near Woolacombe with Mrs Staal. A lovely fluffy white cat was curled up on the seat near us. As soon as I had had my last chip and put my knife and fork down, the cat leapt on to the table and vanished out of the door with the chicken carcass. It must have trained for years to do that.
At least students don't try to shag your leg.
There's a couple of pubs I know of where you can buy them a couple of drinks to get that!
I don't like cats in pubs as they tend to walk everywhere - tables, chairs, the bar etc etc. At least most dogs stay on the floor as breathing trip hazards to waitresses with bowls of hot soup...
There were a couple of kids hauling each other around the pub last night on a taboggan. Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhh!
arwkrite
20-12-2010, 09:49
A bunch of young men did the rounds of the local pubs on Saturday night. Rowdy but good natured they were all in fancy dress. The barmaid knew them and said they would all start fighting later on in the evening. Why ? Well thats what they always did.
runningdog
20-12-2010, 11:22
Dogs, except guide dogs, are Satan's joke on the Human Race. They are just vile! Especially in a pub, anywhere near me. I hate dogs. Can you tell?
Thanks for the heads up, mon generale. If I'm in the pub an you walk in I'll nip out an bring mine in:moremad::drinkup::drinkup:
Boxing Day opening hours. Walked into the Adelphi at 5pm yesterday and they were closing. Eh?
Walking in and seeing menus dotted about. You spend 10 mins perusing and decide to order only for the barmaid to tell you they aren't serving food. That was yesterday in the Aire Bar Leeds..
arwkrite
28-12-2010, 10:22
Two of our local pubs were open Boxing Day evening. One closed at 8p.m. at which time the other opened its doors until 11'ish. Good thinking on some ones part.
trainman
30-12-2010, 09:24
A couple of good ones here from Curmudgeon, http://forums.pubsgalore.co.uk/showthread.php?5236-The-Pub-Curmudgeon-Bad-characters&p=25762#post25762.
Does anyone have any 'bar prowler' tales to share?
Does anyone have any 'bar prowler' tales to share?
I told this one before but worthy of a repeat.
I was in the 'Spoons in Chingford a few months ago reading the wall display about a local boxer called Derek Lloyd who was known as the Punching Postman. He was British Flyweight Champion in the late 50's and was quite a character at the time. Whilst I was reading it the local bar crawler noted my interest and wandered over for a chat. Turned out that it was Lloyd himself! He pulled out a crumpled envelope from his pocket containing a few battered photos from his boxing days and a list of all his fights and told me a few stories. Was quite sad to see this local sporting legend wandering around Wetherspoons but it made his day that I showed some interest in him. He still apparently goes out running everyday and helps out at a local boxing club even though he is now 74 years old.
arwkrite
30-12-2010, 10:10
So what do you do when a stranger walks into a pub. ? Its a common enough event out here in the sticks, one of my locals has rooms to let. Do you sit / stand and ignore them and perhaps be thought snobbish and stand offish.? Or perhaps give a cheery welcome and be thought a bit forward in your manner and a prowler or cock of the walk? I would rather speak to people than ignore them and their body language will tell you if they are of the solitary type. I appreciate the same sort of welcome when I am on strange ground. That heavy silence that descends on the bar after you have purchased your drink I find embarrassing and boring both as a visitor and a regular.
Space invaders are easy enough to deal with. Just sit down at one of the tables. I'll give you good odds that Table Grabber will be the one to move.
Pubs are basically social in character. A place to talk while supping the drink of your choice. Your mates will recognise when you need a bit of space, perhaps its a bad day, and leave alone. But if you expect silence with your drink perhaps sneaking a full hip flask into the local library may be a better bet.
trainman
30-12-2010, 10:52
So what do you do when a stranger walks into a pub. ? if you expect silence with your drink perhaps sneaking a full hip flask into the local library
may be a better bet.
Heavens! Being sociable at the pub, saying how'do or striking up conversation with a stranger, is a different circumstance to that concerning the inferred bar pest.
arwkrite
30-12-2010, 21:45
May be I have been lucky in that I have never encountered a bar pest ?
Or perhaps to dim or thick skinned to recognise one.:eek:
Even Worse......Perhaps I am one of the dreaded breed.:sick:
Strongers
03-01-2011, 00:59
I was in a pub in Northampton and this old boy kept following me around telling me of the cheap prices behind the bar. He must have listed every drink's cost and even lent over the pool table whilst I was taking a shot and informed me that the WKD was half the price of the pub next door. I waited for him to go to the bar before I went to the bog!
I'm terrible at hiding my feelings as my face gives me away - I'm rubbish at poker, but it is handy for getting rid of people who are boring me - even if it is not intentional.
I hope this rambling makes sense - It's lunch in the cricket and I'm :nishelypished:
aleandhearty
03-03-2011, 17:56
#647: You're in a fantastic ten pump watering hole, with half a dozen beers you've never come across before. You're going to sample at least three or four but want to make an informed decision where to start. However, even though it's not busy, after thirty seconds the miserable sod of a barman starts tutting, mithering you with "Do you want a light one, or a dark one?...:moremad:
(Happened last night.)
PaulOfHorsham
03-03-2011, 19:06
:(
One of my main complaints, this one. Brewers these days are keen to get monthly and seasonal specials, one-offs and experimental ales out there, but how much effort do they and publicans put into letting us (the market) know what they're offering?
Had a couple of Brewdogs last week. I knew what the Punk IPA was (an IPA, of course! although those less clued-up may have struggled), but the other was called Riptide. No clues at to style or colour, so I had to take my chances. Perfectly fine, of course, but why the guesswork?
It's not a go at Brewdog, it's a comment on many (most?). If the pump clip can't include a few words (Dark Star (http://darkstarbrewing.co.uk/beer/) are pretty good at this), then can the pub put up a blackboard, or print a beer menu? Or do they prefer to simply sell to tickers who aren't much bothered what the beer is, or enthusiasts who already know or are prepared to gamble? It seems a pretty amateurish way to run a business to me and compares badly with the US, where these things are pretty much universal (pdf beer menu (http://thetwobells.com/menus/Genericbeverage_menu.pdf) from the Two Bells, Seattle, as an example).
NickDavies
03-03-2011, 19:16
At least a&h had a sporting chance of being served by someone who knew what they were selling. Innocent fun can always be had in a 10 pump JDW when, upon inevitably finding your chosen pint is off, you ask the Estonian ingenue serving you to suggest an alternative. Chances are they'll pick whatever is in the next pump, even if it is cider or pipe cleaning fluid or something else surreally inappropriate.
PaulOfHorsham
03-03-2011, 19:35
Well, yes, I know what you mean but, to give JDW credit, they do have a beer menu (http://www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk/static/pdfs/admin-generated/drinks/menus/real-ale-2.pdf). Not sure how generally available it is, but I do know that they produce proper lists for their regular festivals. The lists even include the hops! Nicholson's (http://www.nicholsonspubs.co.uk/pdf/seasonalalesandwine_DN10.pdf) do the same and, personally, I'd like to see much more of this sort of thing to help me make an informed decision - if I like Copper Dragon Challenger IPA, I'd want to also try Hook Norton Jackpot, which both use Challenger, for example.
Note: both links are to pdf documents.
Well, yes, I know what you mean but, to give JDW credit, they do have a beer menu (http://www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk/static/pdfs/admin-generated/drinks/menus/real-ale-2.pdf). Not sure how generally available it is, but I do know that they produce proper lists for their regular festivals. The lists even include the hops! Nicholson's (http://www.nicholsonspubs.co.uk/pdf/seasonalalesandwine_DN10.pdf) do the same and, personally, I'd like to see much more of this sort of thing to help me make an informed decision - if I like Copper Dragon Challenger IPA, I'd want to also try Hook Norton Jackpot, which both use Challenger, for example.
Note: both links are to pdf documents.
We use the quite frankly excellent yourround.co.uk
All the details on the beers are there, I as a landlord select which beers I'm selling, and the customer gets an interactive view on the web, and a hand print-out in the pub. Mind you, we sell the beers so quick the print out isn't worth it over summer.
This is where one of my biggest pushes lies - staff training. You may not know what Riptide is, and not find a copy of the beer list, but if you order a pint a decent barman should tell you it's an 8% Imperial Stout and offer you a taste, allowing you
a) to take another beer if you don't like it
b) to state loudly 'holy crap, I'll just take a half, otherwise the missus'll *personal threat*
c) enquire what the price of such a strong and presumably rare cask ale is, before returning to point a) or b)
Well trained, interested bar staff are worth their weight in gold. Which is bloody expensive if they like the beer they recommend!
whitmorereans
14-03-2011, 20:47
After an enforced break from visiting your favourite, well run, busy local, the landlord informs you that they are going to turn your home away from home into a block of flats. Thanks Marston's!
Rex_Rattus
14-03-2011, 22:04
After an enforced break from visiting your favourite, well run, busy local, the landlord informs you that they are going to turn your home away from home into a block of flats. Thanks Marston's!
That goes way beyond being just an annoyance!
Old Blue
20-08-2011, 14:13
Drab and awful staff uniforms that make even the sexiest of barmaids look unappealing
arwkrite
21-08-2011, 12:21
If you mentally undress them , barmaids in my case, the problem can go away. I will agree that it does not happen all the time, some look better clothed however good your imagination. Believe me that mine is out in the far reaches of near lunacy.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.11 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.