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17-11-2010, 18:30
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The following is my competition entry in Zak Avery's competition, here (http://thebeerboy.blogspot.com/2010/11/competiton-time-win-bottle-of-greene.html)and here (http://thebeerboy.blogspot.com/2010/11/competition-entries.html) and here (http://catinapintglass.blogspot.com/2010/11/time-for-another.html). It comes in at 498 words, it is 2 under the limit. It is a short fictional story, involving time, time travel, beer, barmaids, pubs, philosophy, science, love and tragedy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_XhIi41UJM). It may be crap, but it's all I could thing of on the topic of time and beer and 500 words and it stands me as good a chance as any of a free bottle of grog.

The last day of the universe
The last day of the universe is often pondered by the sciences. Among the big crunches and other theories, there is no theory that accurately explains the last moment of time. Mark Brown had a peculiar theory in regard to the nature of time. Had he any knowledge of popular physics he would have known his understanding of the universe to be at odds with either the notion of passing through time in one direction or time being a variable dependent upon ones velocity. Had he been more aware of the disciplines of philosophy or theology he might have considered his perspective to be Buddhist. Alas he didn’t. Marks understanding was that time did not exist. His view was also that nothing existed in a state of permanence. Everything was in a state of constant change, but this change wasn’t measured by time for all that existed was the moment. This view assisted Mark in his understanding of an unexpected observation when fixing his old microwave. With a spark followed by an electric shock he noticed the hot meal within had immediately chilled. Something quite at odds with what is expected when applying microwaves to last night’s meal. Mark understood he had reversed the molecular change that had previously occurred in heating the meal and in fact put the meal back in what others understood to be time. As luck would have it Mark had available a brown banana. He placed it in his malfunctioning microwave and within 30 seconds the fruit was firm and green. The consequences of the discovery were not lost on Mark. He knew immediately that riches beckoned. Though, it wasn’t money he desired, only to impress the girl of his dreams. Maria, the girl working in his local pub was, to Mark, the greatest beauty in the entire world. To Mark, she paid him no attention, and the only achievement from his visits was a hangover. Mark knew who he wished to share this discovery with. After a pint of beer in his local pub he felt emboldened to tell Maria of his discovery. Unbeknown to him Maria did reciprocate his feelings. She had wondered why he had never asked her out. She did not believe the incredulous story, but was pleased to be accompanying Mark back to his home. Mark showed her the microwave and placed another piece of rotten fruit within it. Had Mark known more about the sciences and philosophy he would have been aware that all things in the universe are connected, though he would never have noticed the growing hairline fracture in the casing. Mark was lucky in one sense. The girl of his dreams kissed him. Had he been more worldly wise he would have kissed her back. Instead he pressed start. With a spark followed by an electric shock he noticed the hot meal within had immediately chilled and he no longer knew of the kiss he had received for he was stood alone once more.


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