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14-12-2023, 11:55
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I’ve been taking things easy for the past few days,especially when it comes to beer. A touch of man flu is the cause, and ithasn’t been particularly pleasant. It's obviously woman flu as well becauseMrs PBT's has also being affected, so does this make it gender neutral, ornon-binary flu? Gender neutral flu, perhaps, or non-gender specific flu? or just plain flu, except it obviously isn't influenza, as both of us received our flu vaccinations, back in the autumn. It's been lingering on though, as it's now approaching the two week mark from the time when I first became aware of its presence.
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I’m pretty certain I picked this particular bug up from work,where it’s been doing the rounds, having been brought home from school by one or perhaps two colleagues young enough to have kids of a certain age. In the end, this was the situation that persuaded my sister to abandon a career in the classroom, becasue she invariably came home with something nasty! Unfortunately, thisparticular incarnation of the common cold is very persistent and had beendragging on a long time. It’s the type of strain of upper respiratory tract infection, that lulls you intoa false sense of security, because just when you think it’s on the way out, itrebounds back, with an increased ferocity.
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Fortunately, neither of us have much going on at present, as it’s the classic"calm before the storm" moment – the storm being Christmas, if I’m allowed to saythe "C" word with 12 days still to go before the so-called "Big Day." Fingers crossed this unwelcome seasonalpestilence is on its way out, but apart from a visit to the podiatrist, plusdragging myself into work, I've largely been confined to quarters. This “breakfrom the norm” has given me the chance to catch on some reading, put variouspapers etc in order, and re-start my hunt for a replacement vehicle, but on thedownside, I've been seriously off my beer!Tonight, I pinched a can of Mrs PBT’s Guinness Draught 0.0,and I have to say that this smooth, and full-bodied, alcohol-free, dry Irishstout, is very palatable. I was in trouble though for helping myself, eventhough I said I’d buy her another pack. "I don’t go helping myself to your beer,"was her response, and she does have a point, but all joking aside, Guinnesshave got it right with this temperance version of their iconic beer, right downto the nitro-pour can.
Given my part-time hours at work, there are now only four workingdays before the factory shuts down for the long, festive-season break, or whatAmerican readers would call the “holidays.” I‘m not sure how long companies, orgovernment organisations in the US shut down for over the Christmas period,although I do know there’s no tradition such as “Boxing Day.” Mybrother-in-law, on the other side of the Atlantic, is retired now, so him andmy sister are now enjoying the extended leisure time that comes from no longer“working for the man.”

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Looking ahead, I’ve got 12 days of leisure, before headingback to the office on 2nd January 2024, so how to use that time wisely?There’s the aforementioned car search, and having narrowed down my choice tomake, model, fuel-type, engine size, age, and affordability – those things areall connected, the only painful thing will be enduring the over-inflated salespitch, the attempts as selling me “gap insurance”, paintwork-protectioncoating, and all the other “add-ons” that bump up the price, and thesalesperson’s commission. As a cash buyer, I should have plenty of bargainingpower, although I don’t intend om passing lightly with my hard-earned cash.
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As for the main event, there will just bethe three of us, as those days of extended, and sometimes fraught days ofextended family get-togethers are long gone. I’ve pre-ordered a fresh turkeycrown, as I do every year, and Mrs PBT’s will no doubt cook it the day before.I’m trying to talk her out of buying a ham as well, as it’s too much, as far asI’m concerned, especially with a rather large bird to chomp our way through. As in most years, I’ve accumulated quite a stash of beer,mainly bottles, and including some old favourites, including London Porter and1845 from Fullers, Proper Job from St Austell, and Pilsner Urquell from thecity of Plzen itself. There are plenty of other “interesting” beers to work my waythrough, including Belgian Trappists Rochefort and Westmalle, St Bernardus –including the latter's Christmas Ale, and whilst on that subject, a couple of bottlesof Harvey’s wonderful Christmas Ale, plus a Bonfire Boy or two, from the same brewery. In short, Ishan’t go thirsty, and what I lack in quantity, I shall make up in quality.
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There was a time when a polypin of traditional cask ale wasa must, in the Bailey household, but I did find that having to drink my waythrough 36 pints of the same beer, ended up as a chore in the end, and thoselast few pints were nowhere near as enjoyable as the first few. In other yearsI’ve gone for the 5-litre/9-pint mini-casks, and there’s still everypossibility I shall treat myself to one filled with Larkin’s Porter.The other great festive-season tradition is a ramble, notnecessarily on Boxing Day, but instead a cross-country hike with a group offriends, traversing some picturesque countryside and then ending up at an unspoiltcountry pub. Unfortunately, the weather has put paid to such activities for thepast few Christmases, and I’ve a feeling that this year’s meteorological conditions,aren’t going to be any better. That’s a real shame, as catching up withfriends, post-Christmas, in a classic rural retreat, has always been for me,one of the highlights of the season. And speaking of rambles and cross-countryhikes in general, previous years saw me completing the North Downs Way,long-distance footpath.

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Last year’s aim of hiking the Tunbridge Wells Circular Walk,didn’t come off, despite it only being 26 miles in length. A delayed start, dueto atrocious weather conditions, lead to a loss of momentum, even before thestart. This, combined with a poorly signposted route, and a guidebook thatassumed the reader knew exactly where he or she is going, curbed my dwindling enthusiasm,but leaving out the excuses, there is no reason for me not to complete the TWCWin 2004. Tomorrow, we’re expecting out new stairs carpet to finallybe delivered and laid. We’ve waited in excess of six weeks for Carpetright to getthe wheels in motion, and none of us can wait to have some nice new carpetfitted to our stairs, hall, and landing. The house has seemed very empty withjust the bare floorboards and stair tread to look at, as we had the old carpet removedby the decorating team we engaged, whilst we were away on the cruise. It transpiresthat Carpetright somehow managed to mislay our order - if you’ll excuse the pun,but the bare stairs in particular creak and groan when walked on, but given theage of the property (1930’s), this is not exactly surprising,

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Finally, and whilst on the subject of decorating, the Baileyfamily is pretty minimalist when it comes to Christmas decorations, so no deckingthe halls with boughs of holly for us. What we do have are a couple of “Starburst”light projectors, one for the front and the other for the rear of the house. Theseclever devices, project a series of multi-coloured laser lights onto anysuitable, vertical surface. In our case, this is the front or rear walls of thehouse. The pattern varies thanks to a slow-spinning disk in the lamp housing,and if, like us, your house had white-painted walls, you can enjoy your veryown changing light show, without having to climb up a ladder, or string ropesof coloured bulbs from one branch to the next. "Simples", as the meerkats would say, and simple to erect andjust as simple to take down. Life’s hard enough at times, so why not take theoccasional short cut, and leave time for the more important and enjoyable thingsin life.
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