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04-03-2022, 21:51
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I am writing this as I am, for want of a better term, pleasantly drunk.
I have completed my work day, eaten a meal of sorts, exercised my middle-aged muscles and settled into my IKEA armchair.
On the TV is a DVD - remember them? - of Lock Stock, a film I have enjoyed for 24 years and counting.
A candle left over from Christmas - candy cane peppermint scent - burns in front of my embarassingly copious collection of Guinness glasses.
The other half is asleep. Two of the cats are too, while the other is marauding about the house like a possessed panther, her 9 years belying the strength and determination she has once she has had both of her daily drugs administered to her.
Despite it being chilly, I am wearing shorts. However because it is chilly, I have a blanket over my legs. This seems slightly counter productive.
The beers I have drunk tonight are nothing particularly noteworthy - a couple of Guinness (Guinnesses?) and Lost & Grounded's excellent Märzenbier; both served in appropriate glassware of course.
The horrors of the outside world - pandemic, war, climate change - are safely held back by a slightly leaky double-glazed window. The other 7,899,999,999,999 people in the world can do what they want. All that matters right now is what this 1 is doing.
Reality is a trifling inconvenience. Problems can be solved later. Worries can be ignored.
Outside of the metaphysical, the actual physical feeling of a glowing warmth is only matched by the garish neon signage I put up in my mancave; a gesture I thought would make me "cool" but in fact makes me slightly more tragic with every year that passes.
My legs rest on my keyboard stand - a present from my parents for graduating. My keyboard is 20 years old, but the music it can produce is timeless.
Simple human emotions like happiness or sadness are, almost magically, banished. Contentment reigns, without doubt. It's a very strange, odd place to be.
I don't need another beer. Tomorrow is Saturday. Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't need another. The next day offers hope, and opportunity. At least it does right now, inside my mind.
When my grandad was alive, we used to love balmy summer evenings; when the heat of the sun had subsided enough, when the BBQ embers were dying off, but it was still light, there was still beer in our glasses, there was still time to live, to enjoy life, to be who we were.
That's where I am now.
That's being pleasantly drunk. After 3, or 6, whatever. It is when...or what...it is.
Enjoy it. Don't resist it.
Being drunk is not a bad thing. If it's pleasant.


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