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arwkrite
05-07-2010, 07:57
The big thing on BBC 5 Live this morning is results of research looking at children and their thoughts on parents drinking habits. 1000 children between the ages of 10 >14 years. One in three thought the fact of their parents drank was scary but the majority did not mind their parents drinking but conversely thought adults should not drink in front of children.

I have never been a father but have had the joy of looking after my step grand children. Only this Saturday I supervised my stepsons three little girls ( aged 18 months , 7 yrs and 9yrs) while he played cricket. I do not find it a hardship not drinking while I have charge of them. The fact that they have more energy than a cart load of monkeys means I need my wits about me.

What bothers me is recently the same sort of information is being fed to children regarding drinking as was the case with smoking.I agree that children should educated about alcohol and its misuse but how many of those sanctimonious anti smoking teenagers grew up and started to smoke as adults.

The spokeswomen for the charity admitted she thought alcohol was a dangerous drug which should be under tight control. Her own consumption was perhaps half a glass of white wine in 4 to 6 months. One does wonder why she bothers...

RogerB
05-07-2010, 09:55
For the most part, drinking and smoking around children comes under that wonderful umbrella known as Common Sense. Sadly there isn't so much of it around these days. At the time I left home in 1983, aged 22, I had never been down a pub with my parents. Neither of my parents were drinkers and they both stopped smoking when I was quite young. My father played darts down a pub in Kingston every Monday night but he never asked me along whereas I don't recall my mother ever going down a pub at all. My father also played football at a decent level and I did manage to get the occasional Coke in the clubhouse which was the closest I came to being in the presence of alcohol until I was old enough to discover the joys and pains of drinking for myself. I too have never been a father (as far as I know:confused:) but the sight of parents in pubs knocking back pints whilst swearing their heads off in front of their kids is one of the most abhorrent images I can think of. I think bad or thoughtless parents do more damage to kids than drink or smoke ever will.

Alesonly
05-07-2010, 10:12
Same here My parents did not Drink even at home and they never visited the Pub. As far as I can remember the first time I started drinking was at work in the Social Club after a hard days work with colleagues as a 16 Year old apprentice :whistle:. 25p a Pint.
As I don't smoke or drink at home and don't have kids it dose not affect me but I would prefer not too see unruly Children in Pubs and when I see groups of woman with Kids & push chairs in tow Knocking back a couple of Bottles of wine each like in the Spoons the other day it makes me cringe.

gillhalfpint
05-07-2010, 10:38
I hate to see kids running round in pubs, and spoons can be one of the worse offenders for allowing kids to run riot, despite the notices as to where they are allowed.

My mum was a widow with 2 little kids, and she never drank at home or in pubs at all, apart from New Year's Eve sherry.

I remember being a 17year old student nurse in Sunderland getting instructions from a chap on the ward to just walk into the pub, go to the bar and say half of that one please - pointing to any of the pumpclips, and started my drinking with Vaux Samson. Used to go in frequently after that and make the half last the evening while I played darts on my own, right hand verses left hand. Not a lot I could do on £12 a month with HP to pay on my Honda 50.

arwkrite
05-07-2010, 10:42
My parents never drank or visited pubs, nor my uncles and aunts, but us kids made up for it. My stepsons rarely drink and then it is usually at home but never to excess. I think at the time we were children our parents did not have the disposable income nor did the licensing laws make it easy for children to be in pubs. My dad smoked a pipe filled with Digger flake but I never saw Mom smoke.I was 15 when I first had a drink in a pub. Landlords knew you were underage but as long as you behaved yourself you were welcome. You made sure you did not misbehave and stood in awe of men clad in soiled work wear who no doubt could easily rip your head off and stick it were the sun never shone should you over step the bounds .To me it was an introduction to the adult world, something todays youngsters never get, the feeling of it being a privilege to stand or sit with these hard men and be treated as one of them.To the children of the JDW era it is just part of everyday life, the magic and mystery has gone. A bit like those rotten sods who say Father Christmas does not exist.

Conrad
05-07-2010, 13:16
Similar report was on Radio 4 Today program this morning (http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/radio4/today/today_20100705-0958a.mp3), has Tim Martin on, swiftly goes off topic and was quite boring really.

My parents divorced when I was quite young and my Mum was TT and didn't smoke. On alternating weekends I got the pleasures of my Dad who was an industrial chimney and not averse to getting very drunk and driving on a few occasions, I have a couple of memories of being a passenger in a car driving on the wrong side of the road. Thankfully he mellowed as I hit my teens, but it amused me to think back to those days when reading about peoples parents a generation before mine who were far better behaved.

Farway
05-07-2010, 13:16
My parents were of the sherry at Christmas persuasion, but luckily my grandfather was made of sterner stuff and used to park my brother & I outside The Crown, Colham Green, with a lemonade whilst he was inside with his mates. This would be way back in the 50s, so certainly no children in pubs then. He also brewed rhubarb wine, which was awful stuff

I only started going in pubs once I joined the Navy, never looked back since :cheers:

I do have kids, and used to take them down them down the pub on some Sundays, this would be 70s so it was Family Room or the garden, never allowed in the bar at that time

However they both seem to have a more responsible attitude to drink than I have, so obviously I must have done something right, or perhaps I was such a bad example they vowed not to finish up like me :whistle:

Oggwyn Trench
05-07-2010, 18:35
I take my lad to the pub now and again(hes 8 this week) on the understanding he behaves and acts as adult as he can , i will only have 2/3 pints at most , unlike some who leave there kids in the garden and have an all day session while the kids run riot :moremad:
I get my love of pubs and beer from me Dad who enjoyed a pint or three , when i was sixteen he said he didnt mind me drinking as long as it was in the pub and i didnt turn up at home drunk ...... and if he saw me , i had to buy him a pint or he would tell the landlord i was underage .

A lot of parents seem to think they can still live the same life with kids as before they had them , my old neighbours would sit in the back garden on a Sunday and get through a case of lager and 3/4 bottles of wine while the kids (4 and 6) played in the street and wonder why the kids have turned out to be uncontrollable

Maldenman
05-07-2010, 20:21
I have a 17 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. We have always enjoyed a civilised drink at home, eg a bottle of wine with a meal or a few beers at a garden BBQ, but without excess or drunkeness.........perhaps the odd occasion to be fair, but not often at all. Neither show any sign of being interested in alcohol beyond the normal curiosity, my daughter has been a bit worse for wear after one or two parties, but no worse and does not go or attempt to go to pubs. I strongly feel that if you make drinking an exclusive adult pleasure or worse, demonise it, you make it more attractive to a rebellious age who are then more likely to get in deep with all the consequences that entails.

Delboy20
05-07-2010, 20:55
I take my lad to the pub now and again(hes 8 this week) on the understanding he behaves and acts as adult as he can , i will only have 2/3 pints at most , unlike some who leave there kids in the garden and have an all day session while the kids run riot :moremad:
I get my love of pubs and beer from me Dad who enjoyed a pint or three , when i was sixteen he said he didnt mind me drinking as long as it was in the pub and i didnt turn up at home drunk ...... and if he saw me , i had to buy him a pint or he would tell the landlord i was underage .

A lot of parents seem to think they can still live the same life with kids as before they had them , my old neighbours would sit in the back garden on a Sunday and get through a case of lager and 3/4 bottles of wine while the kids (4 and 6) played in the street and wonder why the kids have turned out to be uncontrollable

That is almost exactly what I was going to put - except I have a daughter who is 8 !!

My dad always loved a pint ( and still does !! ). In fact we go out regularly even now - He is 71 going on 21. I often used to meet him when I was underage.

I have never had too many when I have been with my daughter and I wouldn't dream of getting drunk in front of her at home.

Life has to change when you become a parent but you don't have to live like a monk. As someone said earlier, common sense is the key. My dad is living proof. Some of my earliest memories are of him coming back on a Sunday afternoon for his dinner with some packets of Topps football cards for me and my brother. Yes he would be a little drunk and he would have a cigar after his dinner but that has not made me a chain smoker or an alcoholic !!

I intend to raise my daughter so there is no great mystery about going out to pubs. I am sure she will make the odd mistake and have too much now and then just as I did. Then I will be there to help and advise her. I am looking forward to the day she can buy me a couple of pints !!

Wittenden
05-07-2010, 23:15
I have a 17 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. We have always enjoyed a civilised drink at home, eg a bottle of wine with a meal or a few beers at a garden BBQ, but without excess or drunkeness.........perhaps the odd occasion to be fair, but not often at all. Neither show any sign of being interested in alcohol beyond the normal curiosity, my daughter has been a bit worse for wear after one or two parties, but no worse and does not go or attempt to go to pubs. I strongly feel that if you make drinking an exclusive adult pleasure or worse, demonise it, you make it more attractive to a rebellious age who are then more likely to get in deep with all the consequences that entails.

Well put. Mrs Wittenden doesn't drink, and our teenagers are not wild about it-the boy has just finished his exams and does meet his friends in the pub, but they could and do meet elsewhere. I drink wine or beer at home,but don't drink to excess. I can put a fair bit away without major upsets, but over the years I've found I prefer drinking to being drunk:the first couple of drinks raise my spirits for the evening. (well usually...)
We go out to the pub as a family fairly regularily, and have done for years, and I like to think they know how to behave there. However I agrree that we( as a society, not neccesarily us as a family) have molly coddled the younger generation, and they havenot had the opportunity to mix with alsorts that we did at their age.

RogerB
06-07-2010, 09:25
they have not had the opportunity to mix with alsorts that we did at their age.

Most youngsters don't think it's "cool" to mix with people from different generations. They would rather be influenced by commercials or internet chatrooms than take any wise advice from the miserable old gits that they see the likes of me as. The terms "old man's pub" or "old man's beer" crop up frequently on yoof web sites in pub discussions which I find quite dismissive and one dimensional although I suppose works both ways at times. Young drinkers don't appear to have any sense of adventure or ability to make their own choices and are happy to sit with a bottle of Magners on ice as it's the in thing to be seen with and yet they would probably turn their nose up at pint of Marcle Hill or Old Rosie. Hell, most probably wouldn't even drink Strongbow let alone try some unknown brand if they were faced with it. I started work up in London when I was 17 and it was a whole new adult world to me. My work colleagues ranged from me at 17 to people in their 60's and these were the ones who steered me through pub etiquette. I always respected and trusted their guidance but these days I think too many youngsters are so narrow minded and think they know it all once they walk through a pub door for the first time.

gillhalfpint
06-07-2010, 09:30
I think a lot of damage was done when alcopops first came out. A lot of the social events I went to saw parents buying these in for the youngsters and thinking it great when the youngsters started suffering from the effects.

Conrad
06-07-2010, 11:20
Alcopops (Hooch) came out soon after I started drinking at pubs, and really were a gateway drink, before them we used to get going on cocktails or cider.

ROBCamra
06-07-2010, 11:54
Alcopops (Hooch) came out soon after I started drinking at pubs, and really were a gateway drink, before them we used to get going on cocktails or cider.

When Two Dogs the alco lemonade came out a lot of the youngsters (and a couple of people old enough to know better) swore by Two Dogs shandy. A half of bitter topped up by a bottle of Two Dogs. :sick:

It tasted as bad as it looked to me.

After a couple of months the local landlords banned it as it made their beer look off.

Conrad
06-07-2010, 12:08
Having abused my family, I think they were quite sensible about introducing me to drink, I was allowed to try small portions of the adult drinks and I would inevitably spit them out as a I hated them. Started drinking at 16/17 after an Uncle took me out on Christmas Eve to the pub and I forced a few beers down. After that I would have the odd coke and spirit, or cider, gradually moved on to Lager, and ended up sometime in my 20's on real ale.

This site was set up off the back of enjoying going to pubs rather than a love of real ale though, and did come from the comments made on another thread about pubs being the great equaliser, you can just mingle with people you would never normally meet in a good pub.

arwkrite
06-07-2010, 12:58
Do parents have as much influence on their children as some people would like us to think ? Parents can show their offspring the way to go but youth has always had a tendency to rebel and go its own way. Peer pressure and acceptance is important to the majority of young people no matter how hard they plead to do their own thing, which normally means copying others of their age group. Back in Greek and Roman times groups of drunken youths were a problem and in every era authorities have tried to control it. I doubt whether todays efforts will be any more successful than those in the past.

As we get older we gather stuff like families and responsibilities and the body refuses to do72 hour parties, just like those who have gone before us. People in the past died from drink related illnesses and it was just a case of hard luck. Nowadays the NHS endeavours to keep everyone alive well past their sell by date and incurs great cost in doing so.Like most things to do with government these days it comes down to cost ,if they were really concerned they would ban alcohoh and make us all drink anti-freeze cocktails.

HTM69
06-07-2010, 15:34
My first pub experience - it was in a Social Club, but never mind - was with my father when I was around 17. I still drink with him on occasion and have never - even as a teenager - had a problem with mixing with older drinkers. Don't get me wrong: I regularly go to the pub with those the same age as myself, but I have always enjoyed the company of those who are a little older and perhaps a tad more knowledgeable and interesting than many in their 20's.

Tonight, I'll be drinking Guinness with a 58-year-old mate down the Social. Would I, however, venture out with him down Rochester and Chatham high st this weekend though? No, probably not

Gann
06-07-2010, 19:06
I intend to raise my daughter so there is no great mystery about going out to pubs. I am sure she will make the odd mistake and have too much now and then just as I did. Then I will be there to help and advise her.

Yes I subscribe to this school of thought as well and what I tried to do with my two. Alcohol is everywhere nowadays so you can't stop kids coming across it. And anyway, as every parent knows the best way to get any kid to try something is to tell them not to.

So I also believe that taking the mystery out of it and defining to them what you consider to be the correct moral code by showing what sensible drinking and acceptable sensible behaviour is, is what you can do.
The rest is up to them.

My old man was someone who liked a drink and actually brewed his own beer and made his own wine.
And we always had a wine dispenser on the go on top of the fridge from which he would have a nightly glass with dinner.
But it was always drinking in moderation and he also took me into my first pub at the age of 14 for a social pint with his mates to take the mystery out of the experience.

He was also a heavy smoker and smoked roll ups. But he gave up when I was 13 with the sole reason to stop me starting, a fact he made very clear I understood.
And the experience of watching him go through the agony of cold turkey for my benefit had a lasting effect which means I have never taken up the weed.
Unfortunately it didn't save him and he later died of cancer before my kids were born, as did my father in law.
And as mentioned above, you need some pretty powerful arguments to stop kids trying things, and I have used my experience and the fact that cigarettes were directly responsible for the reason my kids never knew their grandfathers to keep them off the weed (so far...)

arwkrite
13-07-2010, 10:02
Yet more research on Britains walk on by culture. A study by the Royal Society of Arts ( what happened to Elf and Safely ? )The report says anti-social behaviour is fuelled by 'the easy availability of drink, drugs and porn', as well as a 'consumerist culture of celebrity and wealth' that is 'lowering horizons and coarsening relationships

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1294235/Walk-Britons-live-fear-louts--unlike-rest-Europe.html#ixzz0tYEEr9XG

I think they managed to get everything in the report which shows the RSA meant to get their moneys worth. But why spend thousands on such reports when all you have to do is sit quietly in a pub and listen to the conversation.

runningdog
13-07-2010, 10:58
[QUOTE=arwkrite;16145] But why spend thousands on such reports when all you have to do is sit quietly in a pub and listen to the conversation.

I wouldn't go there, I was you. If you believe half of what you hear in pubs you'll have learnt nowt special. But then, you'll have a had a pint or three and, most like, had a good laugh or a quiet giggle.:drinkup::drinkup::drinkup:
Research, anyone?

arwkrite
13-07-2010, 13:45
When it mentioned Drink ,Drugs and Porn I double checked that the built in camera on my monitor was switched off.:whistle: