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18-05-2010, 07:44
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There are terrible rumours going around that I am not a proper, hardcore beer geek and they are malicious because, despite what some are saying, I am a proper, hardcore beer geek.

Iíve got more beer glasses that I have hot meals in a month; Iíve got a stack of beer books thatís taller than I am; I write notes on every beer I drink, most of them really poncy like Ďoh itís got a delicious fruity quality and wonderful balance of nutty sweetness, with Ė oh thatís it Ė just the most delightful and delicate hints of elderflowerí; I buy beers to be able drink them in 2-10 years time and I pay stupid amounts of money for the privilege; my fridge and my flat are filled with random bottles of beer from all over the world, some oak-aged, some whisky-barrel-aged, some with coffee in, some sour beers, some with killer levels of hops in, and some are so flipping rare they donít even have labels!; I read ratebeer and beeradvocate forums every single day, usually more than once; and I write a bloody beer blog, you donít get much geekier than that. So hearing that Iím not a hardcore beer geek is hurtful.

These rumours started in Burton. One rumour is that I drank a bottle of Desperados (http://www.desperadosbeer.co.uk/index.asp). Well, listen here, Desperados is like the quintessential craft beer: a 5.9% pale beer, extreme ingredient added (in this case itís tequila), snappy and fun marketing aimed at the yoof, the appeal of serving it with a slice of lime. Hello Ė that sounds like half of the craft beers in the world and everyone needs a USP, whether itís barrel-aging, fruit, chilli, tequila and lime, or whatever. Come on. The other rumour is that I drank C2 (http://www.carling.com/beer/c2/), a low-alcohol incarnation of a popular brand known as ĎCarlingí. Well guess what? I poured it out into a snifter. Hello Ė a bloody snifter! It was a really nice crystal one too and everyone knows that if you drink beer out of a snifter then you are a beer geek. Come on. The rumour-spreading losers are only jealous because they ordered some crappy cask ale and it wasnít as delicious as my bottle of Desperados.

I am a proper, hardcore beer geek and I will bitch fight anyone who says otherwise. Plus, obviously, Desperados is the best beer in the whole, wide world.

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