View Full Version : Pitfalls to avoid in reviewing
I thought it might be enjoyable to list some of the classic mangled phrases and plain confused ramblings read on the pub reviews here and elsewhere.
I'll start:
Listening to music on a 'duke box'
Misspelling beer as 'bear' - so one can have a pint in the lovely bear garden, for example.
Pubs that host an 'open mike' night (poor Mike!)
over to you...
Strongers
24-06-2013, 12:20
Anyone for a pint of larger?
Well obviously, after my latest faux pas pointed out by ROBCamra, we should all avoid pubs that have beers on Silage.......:sick:
aleandhearty
24-06-2013, 12:54
....we should all avoid pubs that have beers on Silage
....such as my London 'bete noire' the Duchess of Cambridge, W6.
ROBCamra
24-06-2013, 13:50
Under no circumstances should ANY punctuation be used, especially not full stops or capital letters.
If you put these pointless little sods in people will struggle to understand what the hell you're on about without reading it 3 times.:evilgrin:
Rex_Rattus
24-06-2013, 14:15
I read of a pub that had a BJ corner. Imagine my disappointment when on visiting it turned out there was a DJ sitting in the corner! (apologies to Viz).
NickDavies
24-06-2013, 14:33
Anyone for a pint of larger?
While you're dinning
aleandhearty
24-06-2013, 16:07
How about the combination of upper case 'shouting' combined with text speak?
SIZZLERZ IS GR8!!! 2 PTS OF LARGER ONLY 50P. WELL WKD. 'AVING SUMMA THAT.
Aqualung
24-06-2013, 18:39
SIZZLERZ IS GR8!!! 2 PTS OF LARGER ONLY 50P. WELL WKD. 'AVING SUMMA THAT.
That statement would be regarded as having gr8 literary merit by most of the afternoon crowd in your average Spoons.
The evening lot would be too drunk to comprehend it.
Mobyduck
24-06-2013, 20:53
I thought it might be enjoyable to list some of the classic mangled phrases and plain confused ramblings read on the pub reviews here and elsewhere.
I'll start:
Listening to music on a 'duke box'
Misspelling beer as 'bear' - so one can have a pint in the lovely bear garden, for example.
Pubs that host an 'open mike' night (poor Mike!)
over to you...
Just don't review After you've had a couple or ten , leave it till the morning. Saves all that editing. :nishelypished:
OB talks about 'striped pine' in his review of The Brewery Tap (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/31347/), which I clearly missed :evilgrin:
oldboots
01-07-2013, 20:39
OB talks about 'striped pine' in his review of The Brewery Tap (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/31347/), which I clearly missed :evilgrin:
I expect it was badly done giving the stripped pine a striped effect..................or something, or some bastard Microsoft spell checker...................or something, ...........................all I can say is I definitely wasn't pi55ed when I wrote that....honest Guv. & what's more I haven't gone back and edited it................................................ .....yet!
Maldenman
07-07-2013, 14:30
Boy & Barrel (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/33977/)
Sad news, RIP lass.
Al 10000
07-07-2013, 14:47
Boy & Barrel (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/33977/)
Sad news, RIP lass.
I was going to comment on that in my review.
The landlady looked alive and kicking yesterday,she was sweeping up outside when i went in for a drink.
Maldenman
07-07-2013, 16:54
I was going to comment on that in my review.
The landlady looked alive and kicking yesterday,she was sweeping up outside when i went in for a drink.
Alan, pretty sure he meant the pub was dead, not the barmaid! It was just how it read that tickled me.
Al 10000
07-07-2013, 17:04
Alan, pretty sure he meant the pub was dead, not the barmaid! It was just how it read that tickled me.
I did know that,he had missed a punctuation mark out,i was just being a bit sarcastiic in my post :)
Just noticed this gem in my notes for the Myrtle Grove in Bingley (guess who's having a quiet afternoon at work and is surreptitiously bashing out reviews between tasks?)
My initial choice of Black and Tan was flat and not clearing but happily exchanged for an above average barmaid
Soup Dragon
11-07-2013, 11:05
The Talbot (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/32104/)
I love Oggy's picture of this pub - Oggy was completely sober, but managed to get his camera drunk!
Oggwyn Trench
11-07-2013, 20:12
The Talbot (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/32104/)
I love Oggy's picture of this pub - Oggy was completely sober, but managed to get his camera drunk!
Thats one of my better ones:eek:
Apparently a pub I visited recently had just been voted the regional CAMERA pub of the year according to reviewers on an alternative site...............:confused:
One I really hate is when PEOPLE POINTLESSLY USE CAPS LOCK TO MAKE A POINT OR ARE JUST TOO STUPID TO TYPE NORMALLY. *
Usually found in single-drop reviews and food/service rants. My head's reading voice immediately turns into a hyperventilating Victor Meldrew-style rant accent.
*(scurries off to check he hasn't done this himself years ago)
Sparkplug
16-07-2013, 05:51
Now this is what I call a real pub.
Or...
This is the best/friendliest pub in (insert location).
Apparently a pub I visited recently had just been voted the regional CAMERA pub of the year according to reviewers on an alternative site...............:confused:
Just keeping us in the picture, I guess.
Aqualung
16-07-2013, 08:47
one i really hate is when people pointlessly use caps lock to make a point or are just too stupid to type normally. *
usually found in single-drop reviews and food/service rants. My head's reading voice immediately turns into a hyperventilating victor meldrew-style rant accent.
*(scurries off to check he hasn't done this himself years ago)
i can't stand it either, what sort of people do they think they are? Quite frankly it makes my blood boil!!!!
Aqualung
16-07-2013, 08:50
i can't stand it either, what sort of people do they think they are? Quite frankly it makes my blood boil!!!!
Well that worked well, the post above what I wrote was completely capitalised and the forum software seems to have changed it!!!
Soup Dragon
16-07-2013, 09:25
One I really hate is when PEOPLE POINTLESSLY USE CAPS LOCK TO MAKE A POINT OR ARE JUST TOO STUPID TO TYPE NORMALLY. *
oh! Lord - do i have to re-type all of my reviews to take out MILD?
oh! Lord - do i have to re-type all of my reviews to take out MILD?
That's a tribute so is allowed :)
NickDavies
16-07-2013, 18:47
Now this is what I call a real pub.
Or...
This is the best/friendliest pub in (insert location).
or...
the (insert microwave Brake Bros dish available in 2000 pubs) is to die for.....
....and the chips in a little metal bucket made a nice touch....
Maldenman
16-07-2013, 20:01
One I really hate is when PEOPLE POINTLESSLY USE CAPS LOCK TO MAKE A POINT OR ARE JUST TOO STUPID TO TYPE NORMALLY. *
Usually found in single-drop reviews and food/service rants. My head's reading voice immediately turns into a hyperventilating Victor Meldrew-style rant accent.
*(scurries off to check he hasn't done this himself years ago)
Couldn't agree more an instant non-read IT MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL sorry, mad moment
Spotted today "Beautiful surroundings. Really good deserts."
Pub not called the Oasis, btw... :p
A good one over the Other Side
"the present tenants are new to the pub trade (formerly in the Police)"
There was me thinking Copleland and Summers didn't need bother running a pub...
aleandhearty
10-10-2013, 10:39
A good one over the Other Side
"the present tenants are new to the pub trade (formerly in the Police)"
There was me thinking Copleland and Summers didn't need bother running a pub...
:) Imagine if they did run a pub, they could re-work all their old hits e.g. Every little thing she does is Magic Rock.
:) Imagine if they did run a pub, they could re-work all their old hits e.g. Every little thing she does is Magic Rock.
Message in a Bottle (of Hawkshead Lakeland lager)
Strongers
10-10-2013, 11:38
Walking on the (Blue) Moon.
Soup Dragon
10-10-2013, 11:49
Walking on the (Blue) Moon.
Wrapped around your bishop's finger
Maldenman
10-10-2013, 12:00
Fuggle Dee doo doo doo de da da Dum :D
ROBCamra
10-10-2013, 12:16
:) Imagine if they did run a pub, they could re-work all their old hits e.g. Every little thing she does is Magic Rock.
Wrapped around your Bishop's Finger. :)
Wrapped around your bishop's finger
Wrapped around your Bishop's Finger. :)
There's an echo in here :p
ROBCamra
10-10-2013, 12:53
There's an echo in here :p
Yeah, I should have refreshed the thread before replying. Still great minds etc.......
Soup Dragon
10-10-2013, 13:22
Yeah, I should have refreshed the thread before replying. Still great minds etc.......
I wonder if they will claim that their pub will be .... Walking on the 'Spoons:rolleyes:
Al1000's comment when he reviews their pub, after he finds it only serves John Smiths Smooth c**p - I Can't Stand Chosing You
Oggwyn Trench
10-10-2013, 18:42
"The Heads to big Without You "
Another gem from over the water - "The bar can get busy but with a smile and a little wait you are quickly severed "
Happy to report I came back from the PoW in Farnborough with all my body parts still attached...
"Bright, welcoming, fantastic service, the bar staff were very tentative and approachable. " :rolleyes:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.11 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.