Pub notices that intrigue and amuse [Archive]

Quinno

21-01-2013, 13:47

A few pubs have interesting notices that sometimes aren't best suited to posting on the main site but nevertheless deserve a wider audience. I thought I'd start a thread to collect them. Here's my first offering from The Gryphon (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/405/), combining a nice South Park twist to the traditional 'no drugs' signage in the gents.

801

gillhalfpint

21-01-2013, 14:20

802

Hope this works. We were near Chesterfield for the Rail Ale fest May 07, and if I remember rightly, this was in the George and Dragon at Old Brampton.

hondo

22-01-2013, 06:46

not a pub notice but very useful nonetheless
804 :rolleyes:

oldboots

22-01-2013, 09:00

More a mistake than amusing but it summed up the pub (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/29804/)

805

Rex_Rattus

22-01-2013, 15:53

806

This one summed up the pub as well.

Strongers

22-01-2013, 17:26

807

Made me laugh!

bcfczuluarmy

22-01-2013, 17:39

Cotham Porter Stores (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/311/) Had this above the urinal, I pity the person more who has to count it. My last visit there was a number of coins in it so it's clearly popular to donate.

808

bcfczuluarmy

22-01-2013, 17:44

The Kingsdown Vaults (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/63913/) Has this that made me chuckle.

809

hondo

23-01-2013, 06:26

taking photographs in toilets must raise the danger :ninja: level to a new high :eek:

Rex_Rattus

23-01-2013, 21:23

taking photographs in toilets must raise the danger :ninja: level to a new high :eek:

Indeed - and this one was in the ladies! I decided to outsource the photography in this case though.

810

Quinno

23-01-2013, 22:32

One for OB

811

Dunno where I actually took this - does anyone recognise it??

Pubsignman

23-01-2013, 23:35

Dunno where I actually took this - does anyone recognise it??

This place? Buck Inn (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/29343/)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4410462/Pubs-unhappy-hour-as-punters-play-the-complaining-game.html

aleandhearty

24-01-2013, 09:00

Indeed - and this one was in the ladies! I decided to outsource the photography in this case though.

810

Good grief. I wouldn't know whether to piss or propagate some cuttings!

oldboots

24-01-2013, 10:29

One for OB

811

Dunno where I actually took this - does anyone recognise it??

Well if PSM is correct at least it is in North Yorkshire :D

trainman

24-01-2013, 12:34

One for OB

811

Dunno where I actually took this - does anyone recognise it??

This place? Buck Inn (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/29343/)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4410462/Pubs-unhappy-hour-as-punters-play-the-complaining-game.html

Well if PSM is correct at least it is in North Yorkshire :D

They may like a good whinge in Yorkshire but I believe Quinno's pic is more likely to be from The Retreat (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/1728/) in Reading - we noticed that sign last visit but the landlady told us no-one had ever entered a whinge for a free half. So there we have it - Reading residents must be either beer-token-wealthy, or replete with happiness. Hang on, there's a theme emerging there...

Quinno

24-01-2013, 17:01

Trainman wins!

I checked earlier on and he's right. I'm amazed I forgot!!

Oggwyn Trench

24-01-2013, 19:17

812

From the Gents in the Yorkshire House in Shrewsbury

sheffield hatter

27-01-2013, 18:32

This is from The Alexandra Tavern (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/28367/) in Norwich.

hondo

11-02-2013, 07:40

horsemeat was bad enough but

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BCzzUYICIAAk3Zs.jpg:large

hondo

18-02-2013, 12:18

https://twitter.com/BenNewton1987/status/303490145871622146/photo/1

Real Ale Ray

18-02-2013, 19:22

If you fancy booking your own funeral, this is the place to go...

827

RogerB

20-02-2013, 12:56

A couple from the toilets at the Moorings in Aberdeen...

828 829

hondo

07-03-2013, 09:37

https://twitter.com/TTSalesAndy/status/309611533669896192/photo/1 grabs your attention

but sadly https://twitter.com/TTSalesAndy/status/309611822552584192/photo/1

Quinno

16-03-2013, 10:35

Took this somewhere in Nottingham (one of the Tynemill pubs). A tribute to one of our dormant reviewers...

834

hondo

25-04-2013, 08:31

https://twitter.com/BenNewton1987/status/327116253250609152/photo/1

london calling

15-05-2013, 19:12

the Lamb london n7 has a painted sign on the front of the pub which amuses me.
DRINK YA WAGES-FILL YA BELLY-STAMP YA FEET
Maybe a sign left over from when this was a very Irish drinking community.?

Old Blue

02-06-2013, 16:37

A signage malfunction at the Abinger Arms (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/57458)which would be perfectly apposite if only the pub was open...886

Mobyduck

02-06-2013, 16:49

A signage malfunction at the Abinger Arms (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/57458)which would be perfectly apposite if only the pub was open...886
Bugger it , Ive been dying to get that photo for the last couple of months while driving past on work duties ,but no opportunities to stop anywhere. Its a classic.

Mobyduck

02-06-2013, 16:49

london calling

02-06-2013, 21:13

Moby you died twice.

Quinno

08-06-2013, 22:50

Sadly I don't remember where I snapped this but anyway...

887

trainman

09-06-2013, 17:23

I don't have a phone which would capture a decent image but, walking past the West Norwood Hotel earlier, an A-board outside announced...

"Unattended children will be given espresso, and gin!" :0

hondo

11-06-2013, 09:09

https://twitter.com/toadmeister/status/343726519438422016/photo/1

aleandhearty

11-06-2013, 09:43

https://twitter.com/toadmeister/status/343726519438422016/photo/1

Ah, The Eagle in Shepherds Bush. If only the beer was half as good as that sign.

Brewguru

11-06-2013, 12:27

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151950506448906&set=gm.10152891151595597&type=1&theater

Real Ale Ray

01-07-2013, 18:20

One from the gents and the ladies in Suffolk

891

892

sheffield hatter

01-07-2013, 18:36

Two from the Quiet Woman (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/64008/) in Derbyshire, which has a small field for camping beside the pub.

Quinno

01-07-2013, 23:01

Outrage at Broad St Tavern's 'joke' sign
Bar sign implies women get free drinks if they take their tops off, but landlord Clive Wallis says sign is "only a bit of fun" and "hardly gets noticed"

http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/outrage-broad-st-taverns-joke-4729335 :rolleyes:

Real Ale Ray

05-07-2013, 17:51

Spotted in the Volunteer Canteen (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/26927/)

897

Quinno

05-07-2013, 17:55

Spotted in the Volunteer Canteen (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/26927/)

897

An oldie but a goodie!

Mobyduck

05-07-2013, 19:09

An oldie but a goodie!
But true .;)

oldboots

08-07-2013, 09:52

899

This one was put on the It's Better Down The Pub twitter feed. @IBDTP

Soup Dragon

14-07-2013, 08:21

I saw this advertised and thought of Real Ale Ray...901

sheffield hatter

31-08-2013, 23:26

This is from Round Midnight (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/54005/) in Islington, a jazz and blues bar. (Anyone who likes Country music, look away now.)

Soup Dragon

02-09-2013, 09:11

936

I think the PO Vaults in Brum has it about right

sheffield hatter

20-09-2013, 18:46

For anyone with a drinking problem, you can get Holsten Pills here (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/63260/).

Oggwyn Trench

29-09-2013, 13:00

940

Tells you everything you need to know about The Claddagh (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/32767/) , it used to be 10am till noon .

Real Ale Ray

20-10-2013, 20:35

Sign to the garden in the Chase Inn http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/42226/

oldboots

28-10-2013, 16:19

951

My kind of gastro pub

sheffield hatter

16-01-2014, 21:21

https://twitter.com/CAMRA_Official/s...675520/photo/1

bcfczuluarmy

16-01-2014, 22:22

I thought this was an amusing way to account for piss on the floor, however I think it was probably the truth given the exposed position of the pub and outside wall the toilets were on.

1003

oldboots

01-03-2014, 10:56

A good one on Tandleman's blog http://tandlemanbeerblog.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/rammed.html

hondo

10-03-2014, 10:49

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/09/the-best-sign-outside-a-pub-you-will-see-today-4497127/

Mobyduck

28-03-2014, 07:48

Simple advertising,
1045

hondo

10-04-2014, 09:08

http://www.news24.com/Travel/International/Pubs-rude-penis-sign-goes-viral-20140410

aleandhearty

10-04-2014, 09:21

http://www.news24.com/Travel/International/Pubs-rude-penis-sign-goes-viral-20140410

What a cock-up! The sign writer needs a stiff talking to. :)

Quinno

20-04-2014, 11:19

1053

The Nag's Head (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/57895/)

Real Ale Ray

04-05-2014, 16:51

1066

ETA

04-05-2014, 17:22

I know the French aren't known fo their sense of humour - they still consider Benny Hill
to be cutting edge comedy. But this sign, seen in a pub-like establishment in the Loire Valley, is a good start, if a little vieux chapeau by London standards.

1068

(My translation:

Method of Use.

A tendency has been noticed for certain people to pee next to or on top of the bowl, and even on the walls. In the public interest, we ask you to follow carefully the following advice:

- If you're too short, ask for the step meant for this purpose instead of bouncing up and down and spraying everywhere .

- If you're too tall, kneel down; that's what the carpet's for.

- If you're proud or pretentious, take a step forward, it's much shorter than [only] you think.

- If you pee to one side, ask for a funnel.

- If you're too fat, ask the waiter to help you.

- And if you can't see it very clearly, ask for a helping hand.

The toilet bowl expresses its grateful thanks!!!

PS: don't steal this notice, ask for a photocopy!)

ETA

18-05-2014, 20:14

1076

hondo

19-05-2014, 12:20

1077 :whistle: :cool: :whistle:

aleandhearty

19-05-2014, 12:46

1077 :whistle: :cool: :whistle:

Beery Numan, if I'm not mistaken. :)

Aqualung

24-05-2014, 09:37

This is from the pub's twitter account.

1080

Strongers

24-05-2014, 18:03

This is from the pub's twitter account.

1080

Bizarre!

Al 10000

22-06-2014, 16:59

1097 This sign was in the toilets in the Locomotive in Wellingborough,it made me smile.

AlanH

22-06-2014, 17:55

1097 This sign was in the toilets in the Locomotive in Wellingborough,it made me smile.

:D:D:D

bcfczuluarmy

22-06-2014, 19:40

Found in a pub in Weston

1098

Farway

23-06-2014, 13:42

I did not have have handy camera, so no photo, but in The Jovial Sailor (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/53394/) yesterday noticed they are promoting a "Fizz weekend" the chalkboard had "start weekend with pop", some wag had rubbed out the down stroke on the last p, so "start weekend with a poo"

Made me chuckle any way

oldboots

29-06-2014, 11:09

1106

from: http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/06/25/outstanding-pub-sign-of-the-day/

ROBCamra

18-07-2014, 13:29

Not a pub notice exactly, but on the pubs Facebook page.

Come and get tested for chlamydia for free at the black swan,, dont be shy,, be clean,,, and happy,, its a killer.
Freebies will be given out and u will know u r healthy. friday 28th, february xxx

Would YOU want the freebie?:evilgrin:

Real Ale Ray

03-08-2014, 22:53

1118

Mobyduck

08-08-2014, 21:41

I found the sign (http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BuOIldiIYAASxDD.jpg:large) in the Harp above Binnies head rather amusing.

sheffield hatter

29-03-2015, 16:31

Old Black Lion (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/30124/), Northampton

The young lass who did these notices came out from behind the bar when she saw me taking photos, and insisted on showing me some more examples of her work. The long list of grievances above the bar took her "hours" to do, she told me. Probably kept dozens of customers waiting to be served while she did it...

Thuck Phat

27-04-2015, 10:36

Amusing, informative and inspirational.
1204
1205

bcfczuluarmy

03-05-2015, 15:02

The Mitre (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/32985/)

1215

hondo

17-09-2015, 10:47

sheffield hatter

17-09-2015, 17:15

"collaboration with traditional pub sign artist Andrew Grundon created a number of works paying tribute to the"
http://www.thedrum.com/news/2015/09/17/bt-sport-unveils-champions-league-tailored-pub-signs

I think this post should be on the Pub Signs thread (http://forums.pubsgalore.co.uk/showthread.php?396-Pub-Signs/page7&highlight=pub+signs). I've added your link to that thread.

Cheers

ETA

26-09-2015, 17:09

My thanks to a certain MP for this one.

bcfczuluarmy

26-09-2015, 17:31

My thanks to a certain MP for this one.

That'll be just by where I work then.... Start the Bus (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/54426/)

Al 10000

26-09-2015, 17:45

No doubt a reference to the tory party leader sticking his private parts into dead pigs mouth,

just like boris who rules over London,ex members of the Bullingdon club,tory party leader who says he is normal,said in the past,when asked if was born with a silver spoon in his mouth,said no"two silver spoons".

Quinno

26-09-2015, 23:03

Mobyduck

28-09-2015, 17:56

Not sure where this is (borrowed from North Hampshire Camra facebook page). Recycling.
1263
I now discover its the Boot (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubpictures/10140/) in Weymouth. Manky Badger has provided a picture back in 2010.

rpadam

05-10-2015, 19:55

From the front wall of the Horse & Jockey:

1264

Mobyduck

06-10-2015, 05:55

More toilet humour,
1265 1266

Quinno will know where this is.

Mobyduck

30-10-2015, 19:15

A great idea.
1273

Aqualung

30-10-2015, 19:37

A great idea.
1273

Too right!!

hondo

07-04-2016, 12:55

http://www.itv.com/news/london/update/2016-04-06/pub-has-best-response-ever-after-attempted-burglary/

trainman

12-04-2016, 12:24

Where to go if feeling under the weather...1346

sheffield hatter

13-04-2016, 01:14

Free beer here (http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/flash/flashcontainer.php?photoid=292142&maxwidth=477&maxheight=718&photowidth=1275&photoheight=1920).

sheffield hatter

30-03-2018, 09:17

Well, I found it amusing anyway. The Talbot Hotel (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/34614/), Stone, Staffs.

AlanH

04-04-2018, 10:40

A great idea.
1273

1597 Or to save nails!

Mobyduck

04-04-2018, 18:42

1597 Or to save nails!

Hopefully a short one.

Pangolin

04-04-2018, 22:19

A rather different, although probably unintended, punishment for drug users in the excellent Barley Mow, Southsea

1598

bcfczuluarmy

05-04-2018, 20:58

The Lamplighter (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/37298/) boasted a very intriguing sign.

1599

Mobyduck

05-04-2018, 21:28

On the outside wall, 1600
of this pub (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/13770/).

sheffield hatter

01-06-2018, 13:15

A hint that this (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/14280/) is a pub, not a creche: https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/flash/flashcontainer.php?photoid=336522&maxwidth=539&maxheight=718&photowidth=1440&photoheight=1920

RealAleRobUK

15-08-2018, 06:55

Can't help thinking this was typed in anger.

1662

Rising Sun (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/26201/)

Thuck Phat

10-01-2019, 10:31

Not a pub notice but it is intriguing as to how the pub glass washer has worn this pair of Pedigree glasses.

1746

hondo

16-04-2019, 13:11

"acknowledged the sign could have been insensitive and said it had been removed"
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/bristol-pub-sign-taken-down-2764443

Strongers

16-04-2019, 16:41

1794
1795
1796

Mobyduck

16-04-2019, 18:35

NickDavies

16-04-2019, 19:02

Humor it seems is a thing of the past.

Well quite. It certainly was for whoever wrote that sign.

If you've ever known anyone who's suffered a relationship breakdown due to alcohol problems you'll know exactly how funny it is.

sheffield hatter

16-04-2019, 21:39

Humor it seems is a thing of the past.

Didn't see anything humorous about that sign.

And "please drink responsibly and quickly"? What were they thinking?

Mobyduck

17-04-2019, 06:00

Didn't see anything humorous about that sign.

And "please drink responsibly and quickly"? What were they thinking?

That was exactly my point.

Wiganer

17-04-2019, 13:28

It's stolen from Viz. Except for the bit about drinking responsibly, that replaces a fake link to a 'www.getyourselfonthesauce.gov.uk' public service website.

It's available as a T-shirt, and I've got one. Others in the range are 'A Pint and a fight- a Great British night', and 'Don't be soft- Have a Fight!'

Although they tickle me, I wouldn't get these, as after being lamped it'd be very hard to argue that you weren't asking for it.

bcfczuluarmy

17-04-2019, 20:18

"acknowledged the sign could have been insensitive and said it had been removed"
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/bristol-pub-sign-taken-down-2764443

Humour will be lost when they tell you the price of a drink in it. Although I do like the pub especially as I pulled a barmaid in there once in my younger years.

Tris39

21-04-2019, 17:52

Not a sign as such, more a sign of the times? I've spotted these in a couple of North London pubs: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/meikevanschijnd/kisses-urinal-by-bathroom-mania/

Real Ale Ray

08-05-2019, 23:48

1805

On toilet door of Greedy Pig micropub, near Bradford

Aqualung

11-05-2019, 22:25

1805

On toilet door of Greedy Pig micropub, near Bradford

You shouldn't be laughing at depraved smut like that! I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

sheffield hatter

11-05-2019, 22:43

On toilet door of Fez micropub (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/83884/) in Margate.

Al Bundy

14-05-2019, 14:39

Seen in a pub toilet in Ludlow. Unfortunately I can't remember which pub.

Thuck Phat

15-05-2019, 10:24

In the Pig and Falcon (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/61519/), St. Neots.
1810

rpadam

19-05-2019, 19:53

Outside Ye Olde Cock Tavern (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/54218/) in London's Fleet Street.
1811

Brainypool

01-06-2019, 11:54

1812

Very unfortunate signage outside The George, Chorley (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/59247/) which is closed after... a major fire.

sheffield hatter

01-06-2019, 22:11

1812

Very unfortunate signage outside The George, Chorley (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/59247/) which is closed after... a major fire.

Excellent!

Pangolin

08-06-2019, 17:23

1813

From the rather excellent Quakerhouse (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/54901/) in Darlington, which makes you wonder what on earth people had been looking at.

Pangolin

10-07-2019, 17:27

One here from Yr Hen Vic (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/80741/) in Llandeilo.
1817

Mobyduck

11-08-2019, 10:29

1841
I wasn't tempted.

RealAleRobUK

26-09-2019, 20:53

rpadam

26-09-2019, 20:57

RealAleRobUK

26-09-2019, 21:10

Firm but fair!

It makes a very good point.

Though in fairness it doesn't seem like the kind of pub to attract a lot of bother anyway.

Aqualung

26-09-2019, 21:55

Apologies if this has been posted before, I don't know how recent this is but can only assume it to be legit.

https://www.facebook.com/1414862805440360/posts/2467099613550002/

Hope the link is OK, didn't want to steal the pic and re-upload it without giving credit.

I seem to recall there is a sign about leaving quietly in the Great Western so as not to disturb the neighbours but as far as I can see there is no residential housing nearby.

Pangolin

21-10-2019, 11:03

Here's one from the PuG crawl in Shrewsbury, seen in the Coach & Horses (https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/32199/).
1869

Al Bundy

11-11-2019, 13:05

Reasonably funny sign outside Kings Arms, Salford.
1877

oldboots

17-11-2019, 09:46

I noticed this on Retired Martin's blog (https://retiredmartin.com/2019/11/17/a-surmountable-hitch-in-micro-prestwich/), not very profound but I'm sure one of our illustrious contributors modelled for the "murial"

1883

rpadam

12-03-2020, 20:50

1915

NickDavies

19-03-2020, 19:08

1930

Mobyduck

19-03-2020, 19:09

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/90677080_10158433029074626_6839400372776206336_n.j pg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=7wvZRU5C7A4AX8UdjKs&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=1651462085954217ca06abfc4eeb597f&oe=5E979BBD

Like. :D