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28-11-2012, 12:15
Visit the Pete Brown's Beer Blog site (http://petebrown.blogspot.com/2012/11/a-craft-styled-australian-beer.html)
You know how every now and then, you come across something so awful, so unmitigatingly, staring-into-the-face-of-Satan-during-a-long-dark-night-of-insomnia DREADFUL, that even though you simply want to put it out of your head and forget it, you keep coming back to it?
Like an abscess in your mouth that you can't stop probing with your tongue?
Or like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-20JGbA7zGMU/ULUM5zyJE2I/AAAAAAAABTs/wSVOPPzUB5U/s400/Nadine+Dorries.jpeg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-20JGbA7zGMU/ULUM5zyJE2I/AAAAAAAABTs/wSVOPPzUB5U/s1600/Nadine+Dorries.jpeg)
Every time I see her name in the newspaper it makes me angry and sad. And yet, every time, I read whatever loathsome bile or idiot ranting she is dribbling forth, as avidly as if it were a tender open-hearted love letter from my wife who had written to me and was the only point of contact I had with the outside world after being imprisoned for engineering the murder of Nadine Dorries.
Or like a scab or boil that's gone septic, and you squeeze it and all yellow pus comes out, and it's revolting and smells and it makes you want to retch that YOU are capable of emitting something so vile, and the next day as it's healing you squeeze it again, secretly, self-loathingly, hoping more pus comes out like it did last time?
Something like this:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EXuFGPwn6Tc/ULUM8q_5oAI/AAAAAAAABT0/2yhN54Tdt84/s640/Jedward-001.jpeg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EXuFGPwn6Tc/ULUM8q_5oAI/AAAAAAAABT0/2yhN54Tdt84/s1600/Jedward-001.jpeg)
They terrify me. I think they truly may be the antichrist loosened upon earth. But I follow them on Twitter. This is a little known fact, but their seemingly sub-literate, educationally subnormal twitterings are actually magickal incantations that create orgasmic delight among their initiates and cause deep emotional distress to everyone else. Sometimes their tweets make me cry and snot bubbles come out of my nose and I make noises like a cornered, exhausted fox might make when realisation dawns in its primordial brain and it knows for certain that it's about to be torn to pieces by a pack of hunting dogs. But still I follow them. I don't know why. I know it's wrong. It's a compulsion. I can't help it. I need help. Look, I'll get help. I promise. OK?
I came across such a horror for the first time three days ago, in the pages of The Grocer (http://www.thegrocer.co.uk/) magazine. (Look, it had an article on how to reactivate the UK's favourite forgotten brands and an editorial that begins 'To audible sighs of relief, DBIS relented this week in its ludicrous Jo Swinson led Midata quest...' I couldn't resist. I'm only human.)
On page 30 of this edition of The Grocer dated 24th November there's an 'advertisement feature' for a new beer brand.
At the risk of leaving an unpleasant image in your head (don't worry, there will be even more unpleasant images along in a moment that will displace it) The Grocer forms part of my, er, early morning bathroom reading regime.
This particular edition of the grocer is still in there, dropped casually just by the toilet, as if carelessly discarded. Copies of the Publican's Morning Advertiser, Time Out, Pub & Bar magazine and the new edition of Viz are starting to pile up around it, unread, unnoticed, unwanted. Its presence seeps into the floorboards, living, growing, like that bloke from Clive Barker's Hellraiser.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ujqyLheCu4/ULUcJBa3dtI/AAAAAAAABUQ/dtxkkXxZ2lE/s400/hellraiser.jpeg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ujqyLheCu4/ULUcJBa3dtI/AAAAAAAABUQ/dtxkkXxZ2lE/s1600/hellraiser.jpeg)
No, not this fella. The other one.
Because page 30 of The Grocer keeps pulling me back. It calls to me when I'm in my study next door, a nagging insistence compelling me to go back for another look. Daring me to read it again, in case my imagination is exaggerating how bad it is.
It can't be that bad can it?
Someone with money spent quite a lot of it on putting it on page 30 of The Grocer. And so, a couple of times a day, I reread it, and each time it actually gets worse.
It's a trade ad for a new beer launch in the UK for something called Bondi Premium Beer.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B4MAkOcJY3Y/ULUa276cqKI/AAAAAAAABUI/Tbk_4WwEQuI/s400/hvr2i3ulbalew4w3y62z.jpeg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B4MAkOcJY3Y/ULUa276cqKI/AAAAAAAABUI/Tbk_4WwEQuI/s1600/hvr2i3ulbalew4w3y62z.jpeg)
This is the logo for Bondi Premium Beer. Or in other words, proof that it really exists.
As astute readers may have guessed, it's from Australia.
You may not think that's very distinctive, not worth taking a full page in the trade press to tell you about. The folks at Bondi disagree. Ross Bennie, CEO of Capricorn Brands, the company that spawns this beer, says:
"In the UK and pretty much everywhere else we have commenced sales the brand name alone transports the consumer to one of the most aspirational locations in the world - Bondi Beach and Australia. There is probably no other brand in the beer market that so clearly stands for Australia and all things Australian, just in its name."
(Because that's how real people speak and wish to be spoken to!)
But being the brand that stands more clearly for Australia than any other in the beer market (apart from Fosters, Castlemaine XXXX, VB and Crown, but let's let that go - like Ross says, it's all in the name) is not the thing that truly sets Bondi beer apart.
Hell no.
As a sceptical, informed reader of this blog, on the evidence presented so far you might be thinking Bondi Premium Beer is a crap, mindlessly produced industrial lager meant to be drunk at temperatures that freeze your brain because otherwise your synapses might be able to process how bad it tastes.
But you'd be wrong!
Look:
"Bondi Beer believes it has created a new beer category - a fusion beer."
Ross Bennie, CEO Capricorn Brands, explains:
"We don't mean blended with fruit or other flavours..."
Phew, thank goodness for that! I thought you were going to hit us with some meaningless bullshit that cynically cheapened the whole notion of craft beer there for a second. I was imagining some horrible travesty of revered beer traditions! I can breathe a sigh of relief now!
"... but a fusion of craft-style flavour experience with the easy-drinking profile of a session beer."
I'm sorry, what? What did you say? Only there were some words I knew there but you seemed to use them in a way that didn't make any sense.
"The growth in the demand for craft or microbrewery beers, which is where the Bondi recipe originated...
OK, so craft is same as small, and your 'recipe' 'originated' in a small brewery, so that makes it a craft beer! OK, I'm following the logic here...
"... also presents challenges for their uptake by major retailers, wholesalers and distributors. This local heritage and branding tends to restrict craft beers at best to a regional distribution model and it is a challenge to appeal to the wider consumer base to position the brand story and deliver the points of uniqueness."
(Because this really is how real people really speak and how they wish to be spoken to!!)
So there's no such thing as globally recognised and distributed craft beers, such as Brooklyn Lager, Goose Island IPA or Brew Dog Punk IPA?
Well gosh darn it! How should we solve this dilemma, Ross?
"We have spent two years developing Bondi Beer, a beer that delivers a craft-styled Australian beer experience with a session beer drinking profile. Combined with the ability to produce in scalable large volumes and a quality control and production process that ensures consistency of experience we can also deliver across a range of packaging to suit the various channels to market from 9 month shelf life PET, cans, glass and soon one way recyclable kegs."
(Because, dammit, this truly is how real people really speak and how they wish to be spoken to!!!)
So what does this quality, premium, craft beer look like? How do you clearly communicate a hybrid of craft-style flavour delivery and easy drinkingnessness?
Here's how!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LBr6KXCFH7E/ULUjddodXgI/AAAAAAAABUk/FdeSuXEVIhQ/s400/530969_434420793273928_1150487774_n.jpeg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LBr6KXCFH7E/ULUjddodXgI/AAAAAAAABUk/FdeSuXEVIhQ/s1600/530969_434420793273928_1150487774_n.jpeg)
Premium Australian Beer.
OK. I get the easy drinking bit. That comes through in the sunstrike-friendly clear glass bottle, the can that looks like something Aldi might do if it were to launch an ultra-low budget range, and the street drinker-friendly PET.
But the craft side of the equation is a little harder to get. What is the actual style of the beer? Is it a lager or an ale? What hops does it contain? What's the production process? Do you have any tasting notes so the '35-55 year old drinker looking for a new experience in a dinner, session or craft-styled beer' knows what to expect?
Ross?
Ross!?
"..."
Ross is obviously a busy man launching this unique hybrid craft-style beer and he didn't have time to explain this side of the beer in The Grocer's advertising feature in which he paid a large amount fo money to make the claim that Bondi Premium Beer has craft credentials.
Neither did he explain what he thinks a 'dinner' beer is, or how this differs from a craft-styled beer or a session beer, nor why a craft-styled beer is different from a session beer, nor even what a 'craft-styled' beer is and how this differs from a good old simple craft beer.
Luckily though, there's not just one, but TWO URLs at the bottom of the advertisement feature. One for Capricorn Brands, which owns Bondi, and one for Bondi Beer itself. So I went to find out more about this brand new craft-styled beer.
First I went to the Capricorn Brands one:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lERHKKl0HXE/ULXUGms-xaI/AAAAAAAABU4/xx8lC4SaEH4/s640/capricorn+copy.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lERHKKl0HXE/ULXUGms-xaI/AAAAAAAABU4/xx8lC4SaEH4/s1600/capricorn+copy.jpg)
Ah: looks like they're so busy making great quality craft-styled beer they forgot to develop the website they are advertising in the trade press - or even register the URL. Never mind. There's still the website for Bondi Beer itself.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--eAzLm0g_Z4/ULXsCiKPEuI/AAAAAAAABVM/KiELOtG4npM/s640/bondi.tiff (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--eAzLm0g_Z4/ULXsCiKPEuI/AAAAAAAABVM/KiELOtG4npM/s1600/bondi.tiff)
Hmm... this one is quite curious. It could almost be for a different beer from the one lovingly described in The Grocer. The word 'craft' isn't mentioned once anywhere. Not even 'craft-styled'.
Under the section 'About Bondi Beer', there's a bit that tells you that it's 'owned' by Australians, and then a much longer bit telling you all about Bondi Beach, rather than Bondi Beer. Then there's a bit about 'Our Green Creds', which tells you all about how this quality craft beer comes in PET plastic bottles, which Bondi believes to be a first.
And that's not the only first - at the bottom of this section, Bondi becomes the first beer brand to actively propagate dodgy anti-beer, neo-prohibitionist, inaccurate scare stories about beer, repeating the lie that there are 87,000 alcohol related glass attacks a year in the UK, and that these attacks cost the NHS £2.7bn a year.
This is odd, given that the claim is a complete and utter fabrication, as I demonstrated in 2010 (http://petebrown.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/how-87000-glassing-injuries-year-gave.html). It's also strange because Bondi is available in glass bottles too, so here we have a beer website implying one of its own products is implicated in (completely imaginary) violent assaults.
Below the scare story about fictitious alcohol related assaults, finally, there's something about the beer's 'taste profile':
Bondi is light honey in colour, topped by a creamy head that lasts and lasts and is low in gas.
The aroma is mildly peppery from the hops, balanced by smooth malt and a little bit of citrus taste at the end of your first mouthful.
You probably don’t really care but for the real beer drinker…. there is a subtle balance of hops while the long and lingering finish offers a hint of vanilla before it finally becomes a dry, lightly bitter and hoppy.
THE BOTTOM LINEIT JUST TASTES FANTASTIC!
Hmm. OK. So nowhere do we find out what style of beer it is, or even what the ABV is. Nothing about how or why it is 'craft-styled.' But given that the '35-55 year old drinker looking for a new experience in a dinner, session or craft-styled beer' Ross claims Bondi beer is targeting 'probably don't care' what the beer tastes like, it's nice of them to at least have a go at writing tasting notes.
Undaunted, I did a bit more searching on the internet. Perhaps there would be 'meet the brewer' events as part of the brand launch, and maybe they could shed some more detail on what a craft-styled hybrid beer is, and why Bondi is one?
I didn't find anything like that. But I did find a picture of home video enthusiast Paris Hilton and some women in bikinis:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6r-aArODrlo/ULXwOGvw9uI/AAAAAAAABVk/D56kWFM7Q-o/s640/Paris+Hilton+Picks+New+Face+Bondi+Blonde+Beer+5X9B je530wwl.jpeg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6r-aArODrlo/ULXwOGvw9uI/AAAAAAAABVk/D56kWFM7Q-o/s1600/Paris+Hilton+Picks+New+Face+Bondi+Blonde+Beer+5X9B je530wwl.jpeg)
The lady with the sash has just been named 'The New Face of Bondi Beer', which 'socialite' Paris has just announced.
And this is all I was able to find about Bondi Beer
I dunno. Anyone would think the Grocer advertisement feature was nothing more than a cynical attempt to co-opt the language of craft beer into a launch that has nothing else of interest to say, simply because craft is the most interesting thing in the market. Anyone may go on to think that this is a catastrophically ill thought through wheeze because there is no substantiation, and Bondi has nothing 'craft-styled' about it whatsoever, and that such tactics are in danger not only of pretty much ensuring no one in the trade will touch Bondi beer with a didgeridoo, but also of damaging the image of craft beer by cheapening it.
Ross, if you ever want some advice on how not to do the worst launch I've ever seen in the fifteen years I've been involved in the beer market, I'm available at my normal consultancy rate.https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30743480-8505414151264649309?l=petebrown.blogspot.com
More... (http://petebrown.blogspot.com/2012/11/a-craft-styled-australian-beer.html)
You know how every now and then, you come across something so awful, so unmitigatingly, staring-into-the-face-of-Satan-during-a-long-dark-night-of-insomnia DREADFUL, that even though you simply want to put it out of your head and forget it, you keep coming back to it?
Like an abscess in your mouth that you can't stop probing with your tongue?
Or like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-20JGbA7zGMU/ULUM5zyJE2I/AAAAAAAABTs/wSVOPPzUB5U/s400/Nadine+Dorries.jpeg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-20JGbA7zGMU/ULUM5zyJE2I/AAAAAAAABTs/wSVOPPzUB5U/s1600/Nadine+Dorries.jpeg)
Every time I see her name in the newspaper it makes me angry and sad. And yet, every time, I read whatever loathsome bile or idiot ranting she is dribbling forth, as avidly as if it were a tender open-hearted love letter from my wife who had written to me and was the only point of contact I had with the outside world after being imprisoned for engineering the murder of Nadine Dorries.
Or like a scab or boil that's gone septic, and you squeeze it and all yellow pus comes out, and it's revolting and smells and it makes you want to retch that YOU are capable of emitting something so vile, and the next day as it's healing you squeeze it again, secretly, self-loathingly, hoping more pus comes out like it did last time?
Something like this:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EXuFGPwn6Tc/ULUM8q_5oAI/AAAAAAAABT0/2yhN54Tdt84/s640/Jedward-001.jpeg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EXuFGPwn6Tc/ULUM8q_5oAI/AAAAAAAABT0/2yhN54Tdt84/s1600/Jedward-001.jpeg)
They terrify me. I think they truly may be the antichrist loosened upon earth. But I follow them on Twitter. This is a little known fact, but their seemingly sub-literate, educationally subnormal twitterings are actually magickal incantations that create orgasmic delight among their initiates and cause deep emotional distress to everyone else. Sometimes their tweets make me cry and snot bubbles come out of my nose and I make noises like a cornered, exhausted fox might make when realisation dawns in its primordial brain and it knows for certain that it's about to be torn to pieces by a pack of hunting dogs. But still I follow them. I don't know why. I know it's wrong. It's a compulsion. I can't help it. I need help. Look, I'll get help. I promise. OK?
I came across such a horror for the first time three days ago, in the pages of The Grocer (http://www.thegrocer.co.uk/) magazine. (Look, it had an article on how to reactivate the UK's favourite forgotten brands and an editorial that begins 'To audible sighs of relief, DBIS relented this week in its ludicrous Jo Swinson led Midata quest...' I couldn't resist. I'm only human.)
On page 30 of this edition of The Grocer dated 24th November there's an 'advertisement feature' for a new beer brand.
At the risk of leaving an unpleasant image in your head (don't worry, there will be even more unpleasant images along in a moment that will displace it) The Grocer forms part of my, er, early morning bathroom reading regime.
This particular edition of the grocer is still in there, dropped casually just by the toilet, as if carelessly discarded. Copies of the Publican's Morning Advertiser, Time Out, Pub & Bar magazine and the new edition of Viz are starting to pile up around it, unread, unnoticed, unwanted. Its presence seeps into the floorboards, living, growing, like that bloke from Clive Barker's Hellraiser.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ujqyLheCu4/ULUcJBa3dtI/AAAAAAAABUQ/dtxkkXxZ2lE/s400/hellraiser.jpeg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ujqyLheCu4/ULUcJBa3dtI/AAAAAAAABUQ/dtxkkXxZ2lE/s1600/hellraiser.jpeg)
No, not this fella. The other one.
Because page 30 of The Grocer keeps pulling me back. It calls to me when I'm in my study next door, a nagging insistence compelling me to go back for another look. Daring me to read it again, in case my imagination is exaggerating how bad it is.
It can't be that bad can it?
Someone with money spent quite a lot of it on putting it on page 30 of The Grocer. And so, a couple of times a day, I reread it, and each time it actually gets worse.
It's a trade ad for a new beer launch in the UK for something called Bondi Premium Beer.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B4MAkOcJY3Y/ULUa276cqKI/AAAAAAAABUI/Tbk_4WwEQuI/s400/hvr2i3ulbalew4w3y62z.jpeg (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B4MAkOcJY3Y/ULUa276cqKI/AAAAAAAABUI/Tbk_4WwEQuI/s1600/hvr2i3ulbalew4w3y62z.jpeg)
This is the logo for Bondi Premium Beer. Or in other words, proof that it really exists.
As astute readers may have guessed, it's from Australia.
You may not think that's very distinctive, not worth taking a full page in the trade press to tell you about. The folks at Bondi disagree. Ross Bennie, CEO of Capricorn Brands, the company that spawns this beer, says:
"In the UK and pretty much everywhere else we have commenced sales the brand name alone transports the consumer to one of the most aspirational locations in the world - Bondi Beach and Australia. There is probably no other brand in the beer market that so clearly stands for Australia and all things Australian, just in its name."
(Because that's how real people speak and wish to be spoken to!)
But being the brand that stands more clearly for Australia than any other in the beer market (apart from Fosters, Castlemaine XXXX, VB and Crown, but let's let that go - like Ross says, it's all in the name) is not the thing that truly sets Bondi beer apart.
Hell no.
As a sceptical, informed reader of this blog, on the evidence presented so far you might be thinking Bondi Premium Beer is a crap, mindlessly produced industrial lager meant to be drunk at temperatures that freeze your brain because otherwise your synapses might be able to process how bad it tastes.
But you'd be wrong!
Look:
"Bondi Beer believes it has created a new beer category - a fusion beer."
Ross Bennie, CEO Capricorn Brands, explains:
"We don't mean blended with fruit or other flavours..."
Phew, thank goodness for that! I thought you were going to hit us with some meaningless bullshit that cynically cheapened the whole notion of craft beer there for a second. I was imagining some horrible travesty of revered beer traditions! I can breathe a sigh of relief now!
"... but a fusion of craft-style flavour experience with the easy-drinking profile of a session beer."
I'm sorry, what? What did you say? Only there were some words I knew there but you seemed to use them in a way that didn't make any sense.
"The growth in the demand for craft or microbrewery beers, which is where the Bondi recipe originated...
OK, so craft is same as small, and your 'recipe' 'originated' in a small brewery, so that makes it a craft beer! OK, I'm following the logic here...
"... also presents challenges for their uptake by major retailers, wholesalers and distributors. This local heritage and branding tends to restrict craft beers at best to a regional distribution model and it is a challenge to appeal to the wider consumer base to position the brand story and deliver the points of uniqueness."
(Because this really is how real people really speak and how they wish to be spoken to!!)
So there's no such thing as globally recognised and distributed craft beers, such as Brooklyn Lager, Goose Island IPA or Brew Dog Punk IPA?
Well gosh darn it! How should we solve this dilemma, Ross?
"We have spent two years developing Bondi Beer, a beer that delivers a craft-styled Australian beer experience with a session beer drinking profile. Combined with the ability to produce in scalable large volumes and a quality control and production process that ensures consistency of experience we can also deliver across a range of packaging to suit the various channels to market from 9 month shelf life PET, cans, glass and soon one way recyclable kegs."
(Because, dammit, this truly is how real people really speak and how they wish to be spoken to!!!)
So what does this quality, premium, craft beer look like? How do you clearly communicate a hybrid of craft-style flavour delivery and easy drinkingnessness?
Here's how!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LBr6KXCFH7E/ULUjddodXgI/AAAAAAAABUk/FdeSuXEVIhQ/s400/530969_434420793273928_1150487774_n.jpeg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LBr6KXCFH7E/ULUjddodXgI/AAAAAAAABUk/FdeSuXEVIhQ/s1600/530969_434420793273928_1150487774_n.jpeg)
Premium Australian Beer.
OK. I get the easy drinking bit. That comes through in the sunstrike-friendly clear glass bottle, the can that looks like something Aldi might do if it were to launch an ultra-low budget range, and the street drinker-friendly PET.
But the craft side of the equation is a little harder to get. What is the actual style of the beer? Is it a lager or an ale? What hops does it contain? What's the production process? Do you have any tasting notes so the '35-55 year old drinker looking for a new experience in a dinner, session or craft-styled beer' knows what to expect?
Ross?
Ross!?
"..."
Ross is obviously a busy man launching this unique hybrid craft-style beer and he didn't have time to explain this side of the beer in The Grocer's advertising feature in which he paid a large amount fo money to make the claim that Bondi Premium Beer has craft credentials.
Neither did he explain what he thinks a 'dinner' beer is, or how this differs from a craft-styled beer or a session beer, nor why a craft-styled beer is different from a session beer, nor even what a 'craft-styled' beer is and how this differs from a good old simple craft beer.
Luckily though, there's not just one, but TWO URLs at the bottom of the advertisement feature. One for Capricorn Brands, which owns Bondi, and one for Bondi Beer itself. So I went to find out more about this brand new craft-styled beer.
First I went to the Capricorn Brands one:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lERHKKl0HXE/ULXUGms-xaI/AAAAAAAABU4/xx8lC4SaEH4/s640/capricorn+copy.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lERHKKl0HXE/ULXUGms-xaI/AAAAAAAABU4/xx8lC4SaEH4/s1600/capricorn+copy.jpg)
Ah: looks like they're so busy making great quality craft-styled beer they forgot to develop the website they are advertising in the trade press - or even register the URL. Never mind. There's still the website for Bondi Beer itself.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--eAzLm0g_Z4/ULXsCiKPEuI/AAAAAAAABVM/KiELOtG4npM/s640/bondi.tiff (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--eAzLm0g_Z4/ULXsCiKPEuI/AAAAAAAABVM/KiELOtG4npM/s1600/bondi.tiff)
Hmm... this one is quite curious. It could almost be for a different beer from the one lovingly described in The Grocer. The word 'craft' isn't mentioned once anywhere. Not even 'craft-styled'.
Under the section 'About Bondi Beer', there's a bit that tells you that it's 'owned' by Australians, and then a much longer bit telling you all about Bondi Beach, rather than Bondi Beer. Then there's a bit about 'Our Green Creds', which tells you all about how this quality craft beer comes in PET plastic bottles, which Bondi believes to be a first.
And that's not the only first - at the bottom of this section, Bondi becomes the first beer brand to actively propagate dodgy anti-beer, neo-prohibitionist, inaccurate scare stories about beer, repeating the lie that there are 87,000 alcohol related glass attacks a year in the UK, and that these attacks cost the NHS £2.7bn a year.
This is odd, given that the claim is a complete and utter fabrication, as I demonstrated in 2010 (http://petebrown.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/how-87000-glassing-injuries-year-gave.html). It's also strange because Bondi is available in glass bottles too, so here we have a beer website implying one of its own products is implicated in (completely imaginary) violent assaults.
Below the scare story about fictitious alcohol related assaults, finally, there's something about the beer's 'taste profile':
Bondi is light honey in colour, topped by a creamy head that lasts and lasts and is low in gas.
The aroma is mildly peppery from the hops, balanced by smooth malt and a little bit of citrus taste at the end of your first mouthful.
You probably don’t really care but for the real beer drinker…. there is a subtle balance of hops while the long and lingering finish offers a hint of vanilla before it finally becomes a dry, lightly bitter and hoppy.
THE BOTTOM LINEIT JUST TASTES FANTASTIC!
Hmm. OK. So nowhere do we find out what style of beer it is, or even what the ABV is. Nothing about how or why it is 'craft-styled.' But given that the '35-55 year old drinker looking for a new experience in a dinner, session or craft-styled beer' Ross claims Bondi beer is targeting 'probably don't care' what the beer tastes like, it's nice of them to at least have a go at writing tasting notes.
Undaunted, I did a bit more searching on the internet. Perhaps there would be 'meet the brewer' events as part of the brand launch, and maybe they could shed some more detail on what a craft-styled hybrid beer is, and why Bondi is one?
I didn't find anything like that. But I did find a picture of home video enthusiast Paris Hilton and some women in bikinis:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6r-aArODrlo/ULXwOGvw9uI/AAAAAAAABVk/D56kWFM7Q-o/s640/Paris+Hilton+Picks+New+Face+Bondi+Blonde+Beer+5X9B je530wwl.jpeg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6r-aArODrlo/ULXwOGvw9uI/AAAAAAAABVk/D56kWFM7Q-o/s1600/Paris+Hilton+Picks+New+Face+Bondi+Blonde+Beer+5X9B je530wwl.jpeg)
The lady with the sash has just been named 'The New Face of Bondi Beer', which 'socialite' Paris has just announced.
And this is all I was able to find about Bondi Beer
I dunno. Anyone would think the Grocer advertisement feature was nothing more than a cynical attempt to co-opt the language of craft beer into a launch that has nothing else of interest to say, simply because craft is the most interesting thing in the market. Anyone may go on to think that this is a catastrophically ill thought through wheeze because there is no substantiation, and Bondi has nothing 'craft-styled' about it whatsoever, and that such tactics are in danger not only of pretty much ensuring no one in the trade will touch Bondi beer with a didgeridoo, but also of damaging the image of craft beer by cheapening it.
Ross, if you ever want some advice on how not to do the worst launch I've ever seen in the fifteen years I've been involved in the beer market, I'm available at my normal consultancy rate.https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30743480-8505414151264649309?l=petebrown.blogspot.com
More... (http://petebrown.blogspot.com/2012/11/a-craft-styled-australian-beer.html)